


The Valiant

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: AU, Alternate Universes, Crossovers: Other, Drama, First Times, M/M, Other: See Story Notes, crossovers, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-11-10
Updated: 1999-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:22:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 52,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Ellison, Captain of the English frigate, HMS Valiant is immediately drawn to a savage young man that his men  have rescued from French prison.  He soon realises Blair Sandburg may be his salvation.  Crossover with Horatio Hornblower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the labor of several months...ever since I saw the Horatio Hornblower miniseries on A&E and began wondering...what if Jim was Captain Jim? I set out to write a nice moderate story which turned into an epic :)
> 
> I have never read a Horatio Hornblower book. My only knowledge comes from the mini-series and the beautiful actors who played the lead characters. To enjoy this story you don't need to have watched the mini-series--key elements are that my Archie has epilepsy, and has suffered greatly at the hands of a really bad dude named Simpson --who is now dead. 
> 
> Now to REALLY appreciate the story go here: http://www.squidge.org/~subrosa/fic/valiant/valiant.html and you will see wonderful pictures put together by Rosa --she's so talented! She has made a wonderful photo manipulation of Captain James Ellison of the HMS Frigate, 'Valiant' and great pictures of Archie, Horatio and Blair (though I'm betting everyone here already knows what Blair looks like :) ) 
> 
> Feedback would be nice! 
> 
> Thanks as always to my wonderful beta-readers Wolfling and Lori. You guys are the best! And just as an aside: I miss you Ozy! 

This story has been split into three parts for easier loading.

## The Valiant

by Mia Athlas

Author's webpage: <http://http://www.squidge.org/~subrosa/fic/valiant/valiant.html>

Author's disclaimer: The characters used here, sadly, do not belong to me. I have received no monetary reward, I do it simply for fun. This story contains m/m sex. It carries a rating of NC17. If you are under the age of consent go elsewhere 

* * *

The Valiant - part one  
\--Voyage 1--  
\--1795--Off the coast of Normandy 

by Mia Athlas 

Captain James Ellison stood on the deck of the HMS Valiant; hands clasped behind his back and surveyed the waters surrounding him. 

He wished for the tenth time that day that he was with his men on the land. Unfortunately, his duty was clear. He could not take the risk of leaving his ship without a Captain. He tugged at the not-yet-comfortable lapels of his uniform. After six months, he was still adjusting to his new position and responsibilities. His men obeyed and respected him but he could count no friends among their number. He missed the camaraderie of his Midshipman and Lieutenant days. James longed for his lost freedom. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, inhaling the moist sea air and as always felt slightly better. 

The night was calm, the crew quietly attending their duties. It was at times like these that James felt most at peace. It was a false sense of peace he realised. He could never truly relax, always having to be on guard for the enemy. With his position came the immense responsibility for his men and his country. 

James was startled out of his reflective mood by a cry from one of his Midshipmen. 

"Captain! They're back!" 

He strode to the aft of the ship, taking the telescope from his man. Damn! They had actually made it. James almost smiled but clamped down hard on his exuberance, remembering a lesson his past Captain had taught him. He must always remain in charge and controlled in the presence of his men. 

"Well, yes Sanders. I believe they have at that. Gather together six men to help them aboard and rouse the doctor. They may be in need of medical assistance." James waited a moment, then added with a bark, "Well, jump to it man!" The midshipman hurried away. 

James turned back to watch the small boat draw closer. He gasped and took an involuntary step back as the boat he was watching seemed to loom in front of him. He looked away, giving his head a little shake. When he turned back the boat was once again a small speck on the horizon. He reached out and grasped the rigging in his hand for support. Not again. 

"Captain, are you all right?" 

James turned toward his second in command who had come to a stop beside him, hands clasped behind his back. His face held the same expression James had been seeing more and more frequently as of late. Worry. 

"I'm fine, Mr. Taggart." Captain Ellison stood straight and forced his face into a mask that revealed nothing. 

"By God. I think they actually did it," Taggart said enthusiastically as he spotted the rowboat moving closer. 

"Yes," James agreed. "I would expect no less from my men. But you are right. It is a great accomplishment. Let us try to keep it from going to their heads, shall we?" 

Taggart laughed and nodded. "Aye Aye Captain." 

"We'd best get back to our proper positions," James stated, moving up the stairs to the upper deck where they could properly survey the return of the men. 

The deck filled quickly as the news spread. When Lieutenant Welles raised his arms in triumph as the row boat neared the ship; a cheer went up among the men. James allowed it, knowing that this was the first true success they had experienced in weeks. Morale was low, the men desperately needed this celebration. 

Welles climbed aboard, his dark hair plastered to his head, his uniform soaked. James raised his eyebrows, wondering at how the usually pristine young man had ended up in such a state. 

"Mr. Welles," he called out over the revelry. "Report if you please?" 

The young man's head popped up. "Aye Aye Captain." He hurried up the stairs, coming to a stop next to the James, obviously attempting to ignore the small stream of water that ran down his face. 

"You seem intact, perhaps a bit worse for wear but intact," James said, allowing himself a rare smile. The young man beamed up at him, obviously pleased with the reception. 

"We escaped any serious harm, sir. All men are accounted for. We were able to liberate Higgins, Crawford, Peters..."the young man trailed off, his attention captured by a commotion on the deck. 

"Hold him!" one of the crew shouted. 

James looked down in time to see a half-dressed young man break free of the grasp of the mate who was trying to control him. James got a flash of bared teeth before the man's mane of dark curls covered his face. The savage retreated till his backside was pressed against the side of the ship. James was appalled to see that the stranger was still in chains. He looked over the side, but did not jump. James knew that if the man went overboard in the chains he wore he would surely drown. 

His men circled the young man, drawing closer as the man tensed as if to leap over the side, regardless of the futility. 

"Hold!" James shouted, stepping forward to grasp the rail in front of him, overlooking the scene. Everyone froze and all faces turned to him. His men were unaccustomed to their stoic Captain raising his voice. 

James ignored them all, his entire being captured as that one unknown savage turned and met his eyes. The man was young--though not as young as James had first imagined--and quite beautiful. He sported an unruly mane of dark curls that fell about his face loosely, but what held James's attention was the intense blue eyes that met his own. A jolt of electricity passed through him and he was amazed by the immediate connection he felt for the young man. 

James read fear, anger and confusion in the young man's eyes and felt his own anger grow. Why was this exquisite creature brought onto his ship in chains? Reluctantly tearing his gaze away from the young man, James strode down the steps so that he was on deck with the others. The men parted as he moved and no one would meet his harsh gaze. He stepped up to the crewmember that was closest to the captive. 

"What is the meaning of this, Henderson?" he asked in a hard voice, gesturing toward the captive, who was still wearing French chains. "You would bring a man onto _my_ ship still wearing a French dog's chains?" 

Henderson took a step back at his Captain's vehemence. 

"The dispatches were clear," James continued, unconsciously putting himself between his men and the young prisoner. "You were to rescue our men. More than that though, anyone else in the prison was to also be liberated and treated as a valued friend of England. I'm assuming this man was there as a prisoner?" 

The frightened midshipman nodded, not speaking in the face of his Captain's anger. 

Lieutenant Welles stepped up behind Henderson and spoke to the Captain. The midshipman took the opportunity to escape and step back with the rest of the men. 

"Sorry sir. This is my responsibility. We saw no other way. This savage would not come with us easily. He doesn't even speak English. He attacked one of my men and pushed me overboard before we could subdue him on the boat." The officer took a step toward the captive and the young man said something angrily in a language that James did not understand. 

James felt a hand touch his back as the captive stepped closer to him, obviously sensing that the Captain would protect him. 

James considered his Lieutenant's words. "I hope that you at least thought to bring the keys to his chains?" 

Welles nodded and handed them over. James accepted the keys then faced his gathered men. "This has been a good day for England. You men performed your job admirably. Now go about your business." 

After the men had dispersed, James turned to the young savage. Up close he was even more striking. He wore only what appeared to be some sort of loincloth fashioned out of cotton. His body was more compact than James' own but he was leanly muscled and solid. The long curly black hair cascading over the young's man's shoulders was the most beautiful James had ever seen. 

James felt himself slipping away, mesmerized by the savage but jerked back as the young man coughed. The Captain shook his head slightly to clear it then held up the key and met the captive's curious stare. James spoke slowly, hoping that he could make himself understood. 

"I will undo your chains. You are not a prisoner here. Do you understand?" 

"Captain..." Welles said in warning from behind him. 

James turned to his Lieutenant angrily. "Quiet," he demanded. 

"Yes, sir," Welles answered stiffly. 

James almost didn't catch the captive's soft-spoken reply to the question he had asked. 

"Yes." 

"You speak English?" James asked. 

"I speak many languages. English is among them," the young man responded hoarsely. James had the impression that speaking English was not natural to him. 

"I will release you now, but you must promise not to jump overboard...or throw any of my men overboard... until I have had an opportunity to speak with you?" 

"I understand," the young man replied. "You may call me Blair." 

James studied him curiously. Blair. An odd name it seemed for the man who stood before him. Something more exotic would have been more suiting. Blair. James rolled the name around in his mind. Yes. A good name. 

* * *

"Mr. Hornblower, front and center please!" Captain Pellew called out to the young man just stepping onto the deck from below. Horatio strode over to his Captain and stood at attention. "Sir?" 

The Captain looked out over the water as he spoke and Horatio marveled at the older man's ability to keep him off balance. "Mr. Hornblower, I've just read the dispatches from London." 

Horatio waited patiently. He knew Captain Pellew would arrive at his point in his own good time. 

"It seems that your presence is requested in London." 

"In London, sir?" Horatio asked in confusion. "But our current assignment takes us in the opposite direction." 

"So it would seem, Lieutenant. Don't suppose you fancy a swim then?" The Captain asked with a straight face.' 

"Uh, no sir," Horatio stammered, never quite sure when the Captain has having him on. 

"Well then, we shall have to see about getting you transport then. As luck would have it the frigate, 'HMS Valiant' is to be headed that way with her--if all went well--recently liberated men. We are to rendezvous with Captain Ellison. He will give you transportation." 

Horatio frowned. He had heard of Captain Ellison. Though the man was reputably brave and earnest, he was rumored to be suffering blackouts of increasing frequency. Horatio shook off the thought. It did him no service to listen to the idle rumors and innuendo of the men--especially considering his own experience with Archie. Horatio felt his heart jump. He would have to leave Archie! 

A smile ghosted the Captain's lips and Horatio had a strange feeling that the man could read his mind. 

"You will take Acting Lieutenant Kennedy with you. It will be a good opportunity for him to present himself for his Lieutenant's exam." 

Horatio smiled before he could stop himself. Archie would be so pleased. "Yes sir. Thank you, sir." 

The Captain nodded. "Well then, I suggest you prepare for your journey and please ask Mr. Kennedy to see me after evening meal." 

Horatio started to turn away, the turned back. "Sir? Why am I requested in London?" 

"I'm not party to that information Lieutenant. On arrival you are to report to Admiral Bennett. I'm sure all will be made clear then," the Captain finished gruffly. 

"Yes, sir." Horatio responded automatically. 

"Rendezvous is in one day, Lieutenant. I suggest you go about your business." Horatio turned to leave but stopped as the Captain put a hand on his arm. He couldn't remember the last time the Captain had touched him. 

"Take care, Horatio. I would have you both back in one piece," Captain Pellew said quietly, then released his arm and turned back to watching the ocean, effectively dismissing Horatio. 

With a bemused smile he took his leave and went in search of his friend to share the exciting if slightly disturbing news. He found Archie below deck just sitting down with his meal in the otherwise deserted room. The others had not yet arrived. He grabbed his own food then hurried over. 

"What's got you so excited?" Archie asked, raising his blue eyes to watch his dark-haired friend as he literally bounced over to sit down beside him. 

"Archie, I've just come from Captain Pellew and you'll never guess where we're going." 

"Come on Horatio, I can see you're dying to say." Archie laughed and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of himself, good humor dancing in his eyes. 

"We are going to _London_ Archie." 

"London?" Archie stammered in reply. "The devil you say. Why would we be going to London?" 

"My presence has been requested and you are going to get a chance to present yourself for Lieutenant." Horatio grinned, happy to be the one giving his friend the good news. 

"Lieutenant?" Archie said stunned. Horatio watched in dismay as his friend's features hardened and he pushed away from the table. "That's not funny, Horatio." Archie stepped away. 

Horatio jumped up and followed him to the hallway. 

"Archie...Archie!" Horatio grabbed his arm forcing him to stop. "Why would I be joking? Captain Pellew told me himself." 

Archie faced him, studying his expression for a moment. "My God. You're not joking?" 

"What are you talking about Archie?" Horatio demanded. "Tell me what's the matter," he demanded, coaxing his friend back to the table. 

Archie sat down but kept the chair pushed back, leaning forward, hands clasped between his knees. He would not meet Horatio's eyes. "You don't understand, Horatio. It's different for you. I can't possibly succeed." 

Horatio moved closer and placed his hand on Archie's shoulder. "Of course you can, Archie. You are an excellent officer." 

Archie's head popped up and he fixed Horatio with an incredulous stare. "How can you say that? How can you sit there knowing what you know and say that?" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You were there, Horatio. I had a 'fit' during an attack. You had to knock me out for God's sake! I panicked during the attack on the bridge. I tried to kill myself at the prison." Archie held up his hand when Horatio would have objected. "No Horatio...you may have convinced yourself that it was not what I intended to happen, but it was. I am not officer material." Archie put his head back down, studying his hands, not meeting Horatio's eyes. 

The Lieutenant sat silently for a moment, considering his words carefully. "Obviously the Captain disagrees with you self-assessment, Archie. He would never put you forward for promotion if he doubted your ability." 

"He simply doesn't know!" Archie cried out, shaking off Horatio's hand and standing to move over to face the wall behind him. He laid his head against the cool surface. 

Horatio stepped up behind him, laying his hand back on his friend's shoulder. "He does know, Archie. Since when does anything escape Captain Pellew's attention? He knows and still thinks you worthy...just as I do. You may have known a moment of panic at the bridge, but give yourself a moment's reprieve Archie, it was your first command situation and you shook it off and rallied back to lead the men admirably. Don't forget...you saved my life during that mission." Horatio whispered the words to his friend. The lessons he learned on those shores were still difficult for him to accept. He felt Archie tense and loosened the tight grip he had on his friend's shoulder, forcing himself to relax. 

"Your behavior in prison was a credit to your honor--not a failing. You attempted to escape five times before we arrived. Then, instead of holding me back while you recuperated from your time in the pit, you attempted to let yourself die. I know you Archie...you may think you had me fooled but I know you. You tried to let yourself die rather than put the rest of us at risk. Do not take me incorrectly here. Should you ever try such a foolhardy act again I will make you suffer long and hard... but I understand why you did it." 

He tugged Archie's shoulder till the young man faced him. "You are a good, brave, honorable man Archie. I cherish your friendship and I think any man serving under you lucky." 

Archie looked suddenly shy. "Thank you, Horatio. You are a true friend." He squared his shoulder and turned away. "I'd best go see the Captain before he thinks you have forgotten to give me the message." 

"Archie," Horatio called out to the retreating figure. Archie turned back for a moment. "Will you be all right?" 

"Yes, Horatio. I am fine. Come, it seems whether I feel I'm ready or not, I have a Lieutenant's exam to prepare for." 

Horatio hurried after his friend, trying to quell the worry in his heart. 

* * *

"What is your full name, young man?" James asked as the manacles fell away. Blair stayed silent, his eyes moving over the deck of the ship. 

"Come now, no one will harm you here. I know that you can speak. I would know your full name." 

He took a step back to give the man some room. Blair was striking, James decided. His chest was lightly covered in dark hair and though his frame was slight he was built well. James's eyes were drawn to the young man's muscled legs...his strength was clear. He drew his gaze up and met the young man's curious eyes. His eyes were, in James's opinion Blair's most alluring feature; they held intelligence and energy. It was difficult to look away when faced with such eyes. 

James stood patiently, allowing Blair to get his wits about him, content to simply watch the strange fellow. After a time he saw the tensed muscles relax slightly and the young man spoke. 

"Am I a prisoner here?" James was captured by his soothing melodic voice. 

"No, you are our guest. We offer you transportation to London. I apologize for the overzealous behavior of my man. He meant only to free you. Believe me, while you are on my ship, you will come to no harm." 

Blue eyes stared silently at him for a few moments, as if trying to determine the truth of the statement. Finally he nodded. "I believe you will try to keep your word. I am called Blair Sandburg. I will accompany you on the journey to London." 

It was on the tip of James' tongue to point out Blair's limited choices but he bit back the reply. Instead he gestured for a midshipman to come forward. "Please show our guest where he will be sleeping and find him some proper clothing. After which I would have you bring him to my cabin so we may speak further." The midshipman gestured for Blair to follow. 

With a nod to the Captain, Blair gracefully trailed the sailor. 

* * *

Blair followed the midshipman as he led him down the stairs to the ship's sleeping quarters. He felt completely overwhelmed by his sudden freedom...assuming of course he really was free. 

He was afraid that he had simply exchanged one prison for another. Something made him want to trust the Captain of this vessel but his experience told him to be wary. At least this prison had fresh air and companionship. Blair sighed and ducked his head to follow the sailor through a small doorway. His last prison had been dark, dirty and lonely. Blair wondered fleetingly how long he had been there. 

"Pardon me, could you tell me the date?" he asked the man leading him. The seaman was young, probably not more than 19 and had the blondest hair Blair had ever seen. Not terribly surprising considering he hadn't seen another white person aside from his mother until he had turned 20. 

"I guess today would be the 18th of June," the seaman replied, in a surprisingly deep voice. He noticed Blair's shocked look. "Were you a prisoner for a long time then?" 

Blair shook his head, gathering himself together. "No. Only three months it would seem. It felt far longer. I can hardly believe it has only been three months." 

"Time has a way of seeming to stretch when the mind is bored," the young man offered sagely. 

Blair looked at him curiously. Perhaps he had misjudged the fellow. Just because he was a sailor, it did not mean he wasn't intelligent. "I am Blair," he said, offering his hand. The midshipman took it with a grin. 

"Todd. Is it true that you dumped Welles into the ocean?" 

Blair couldn't help but grin back. "I am afraid it is. I also fear that the Lieutenant may not easily forgive the wound to his pride." 

Todd laughed. "You are right about that, but still, I wish I had been there." He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "The man is an ass. Here we are." He gestured toward a hammock in the center of the room suspended between two beams. 

Blair stared at it. "I'm to sleep here?" he said in surprise. 'Surrounded by the enemy on all sides,' he finished to himself. Maybe this prison 'was' worse after all. It seemed that sleep was to be a thing of the past. There was no way he could sleep surrounded by strangers on all sides. 

Todd seemed to follow his eyes as Blair glanced at the hammocks around them and astutely surmised the problem. "All the hammocks closer to the wall are snapped up by the long-timers. Unfortunately, those of us new to service make do with the central hammocks." 

Blair nodded and said nothing. He would find a way to deal with the arrangement. 

"I have some trousers and a shirt you can borrow for the time being." Todd stepped over to his own hammock and rummaged through the chest beneath it." 

Blair put a hand on his shoulder. "Do not trouble yourself. I do not intend to wear anything but my current clothing." 

"But Blair, you cannot go around dressed as you are..." Todd broke off as two large men entered the sleeping quarters. Both were dressed in dirty clothing, their hair cut short. The largest stepped forward. 

"So, who's this now? Pretty skirt, precious." 

Blair turned away from Todd and faced the two swarthy men who had come up behind them. Setting his mouth into a hard line, Blair prepared himself for the coming fight. He had learned early on that such men did not listen to reason. They knew only one thing--the power of their fists. 

"If he's giving you trouble Mosby, we can help change him for you," the dark-haired man laughed, a low and dirty sound. 

"Bugger off Saunders. The Captain instructed me to bring him back directly. He will not be pleased to hear of you messing around." 

Blair surmised that the larger of the two men was Saunders. He towered over Todd. The young man would be no match for the brute. 

"And who's going to tell him? You?" The men laughed and Todd blushed a deep red. 

"Move out of the way little boy and we may decide to leave you alone this time." 

Blair felt a hot surge run through him. Anger. He stepped forward, putting himself between Todd and their tormenters. "I suggest you back off now!" 

The bearded man towered over Blair and his face grew angry when the smaller man refused to back away, choosing instead to stare back, feet firmly planted. 

"We have a ladder of importance here sweetheart and you aren't even on the bottom rung. The sooner you learn that the better." 

"I suppose you are going to teach me?" Blair sneered. "Could you not come up with something a bit more unique?" 

Blair ducked the first swing, but could not avoid the second. He went with it, falling backwards even as the fist impacted with his eye. His hand closed over the broomstick that he had spotted on the floor when they entered the room. Quickly, he flipped back to his feet, standing as his tribe had taught him and thrust the broomstick fast and hard, catching the large man in the stomach. 

The man gasped for air and bent over, clutching his stomach. Blair finished him with a hard crack across the back of his head. 

Saunders fell hard and lay still. Blair spun the stick back to a defensive position and waited for the second man to advance. The sailor pulled a long knife from a scabbard at his side and grinned at Blair. 

"You'll find I'm not quite so simple as Saunders." True to his word, he did not prove so easy to put down. They fought intently for a few minutes. As Blair was tiring, the man presented him with the opening he needed. He brought the broomstick down sharply on the man's wrist and the knife fell to the floor from his numb fingers. Blair finished the movement by catching the man under the chin. His head snapped back then he fell to the floor, unconscious. Blair took one deep breath before the silence was broken. 

"Wow." 

Blair spun to the door, skin slick with sweat, eyes blazing, ready to take on the next man. He found Todd standing near the door with two other sailors--grinning. The young man twirled his gun on his finger, then stuffed it back into his belt. 

Blair sat one end of the broomstick on the ground and leaned on it, eyes going to the gun in Todd's belt. "I suppose it never occurred to you to point that thing at those two?" he said as he tried to catch his breath. 

"Nay. I could see you did not need the assistance. Where did you learn to fight like that?" 

Blair shrugged. "My extended family insisted that I learn. I never really appreciated the lessons, until I came to a Frigate that is. I hope I live long enough to thank them." He watched out of the corner of his eye as two men who gave him a wide berth on their way to their hammocks. 

"Can you teach me?" Todd asked eagerly. 

Blair paused, once again struck full force by how unrecognizable his life had become. How had the peace-loving scholar he once was become this out-of-place warrior? Teach another person to fight? Never would he have believed himself capable of becoming a proponent of violence. He regarded the young man with the haunted eyes and nodded. "Yes, I will teach you." 

"Excellent! I suggest we return to the Captain now, before Saunders and Rands wake up...unless you have changed your mind about your manner of dress?" 

"I have not," Blair answered, throwing his makeshift staff back on the floor where he had found it. 

"Then let us go back to Captain Ellison and try to explain." Todd stopped and looked back at the seemingly harmless broomstick on the floor. "Never did I consider that old broom handle as useful for anything but smacking vermin," he said in wonder. 

Blair shuddered. Rats. Sleep was definitely going to be a scarce thing during the voyage. 

* * *

"You should not trust that man, Captain. He must be watched." 

James turned to Lieutenant Welles in anger. "When I want your input, I will ask, Lieutenant. Until then, please keep your counsel to yourself." 

With that James strode away, leaving the baffled Lieutenant behind. He knew that the men were confused by his atypical easy acceptance of the stranger. He couldn't explain and didn't think he owed any one an explanation even if he had the words. He felt drawn to the young man as never before. No that wasn't entirely true. The last time he had felt this level of attraction it had been to the sea. 

James entered his quarters. The room doubled as his planning area. A small table with two chairs in the room's center held his compass and charts. The only other furniture was a hammock, which hung off to the right. Clear, austere lodgings, reflective of the man it housed. 

Now that Blair was out of his presence James felt disturbed by his reaction. Why would he feel drawn so? He knew of men who lay together. He certainly could not have been so long at sea and not become aware of such practices. 

While he didn't interfere, so long as force never entered the picture, he had never felt such a longing himself. In fact, several men had approached him in offer, hoping to better their station on board the ship, but James had always pretended ignorance to their subtle advances. So far none had been brave enough to suggest such a thing outright to their Captain. 

Was that what this was? Was the extended time he had been at sea and lack of female companionship awakening such desires in him? James continued his disturbing contemplation until a knock sounded at his door. 

"Come," James called out, standing and straightening his jacket out of habit. The Captain's eyes widened as the young man entered still dressed in his loincloth, sporting a darkening eye with a nervous midshipman trailing him. 

James fixed the midshipman with a stern look. "You were instructed to find this man civilized clothing and show him shelter. You dare bring him back to me still unclothed and showing the effects of a brawl?" The man opened and closed his mouth. Blair stepped in front of the frightened crewmember. 

"He is not at fault Captain," Blair began in a soft voice. "It was my choice to remain clothed as I am. This..." he gestured to his eye, "...was gained enforcing my decision." 

Then Blair smiled. 

James could barely stop the gasp of pleasure that the smile brought to him. Blair's whole face changed when he smiled and James felt he had just gotten a glimpse of the true man. He wasn't simply striking...he was beautiful. 

Transfixed, he felt the world begin to fade but was powerless to stop it. 

* * *

James heard someone calling to him from far away. The voice compelled him. He concentrated; attempting to pull it to himself, then with a gasp opened his eyes. He looked in confusion as deep blue eyes gazed back at him. It took him a moment to understand what was happening. 

The strange young man was holding his arm with one hand and had his other arm curled around his back. Blair's nearly nude body was pressed against his thigh in support. 

"Captain," a worried voice called from the door. "Are you well?" 

James gathered himself together quickly. It would not do to have his men aware of his weakness. He drew himself away from the young man's support and faced his midshipman. 

"Of course, midshipman. Why would I not be? I was simply contemplating your punishment for not following my orders." James inwardly winced at his attack on his man. 

Blair stepped in front of him, his eyes angry. "Mr. Mosby is not to blame here, Captain. He attempted to convince me to follow your instructions. I refused. He went so far as to aid me when others of your crew would have..." he paused a moment before continuing. "...treated me unkindly." James had the distinct impression that the incident could have been far more serious. 

"Is it the policy aboard your ship to persecute those who would attempt to aid their fellow man? He felt it best that we return to seek your guidance in the matter. Would you punish a man for acting honorably even in the face of the scorn of his fellows?" 

James regarded the shocked midshipman at the door. It seemed the man wasn't prepared for such an eloquent defense of his character. 

"You seem to have found your voice quite admirably, young man...you are right though. Thank you, Mr. Mosby. I will handle it from here. You may return to your duties," James said with a wave of his hand. 

The midshipman nodded to the Captain and to Blair and made a hasty retreat. Once he had gone, James gestured for his visitor to sit. 

"So young man, tell me how you came to be in a French prison and perhaps while you're at it you would explain your reasoning behind not wanting to don civilized clothing?" 

"Civilized," Blair repeated in disbelief. He jumped back up off the chair he had just sat down on. "What you call civilized, I call repression. What in your culture is civilized? Abducting visitors to your country and forcing them into slavery? War? Do the trappings you wear make you a better man? I do not understand the British civility. You speak of honor, fairness and duty, and yet you behave as common thugs. Explain to me Captain, I truly wish to understand. I wish to make some sense of the past year." 

Blair returned to his chair as he wound down and looked at James expectantly. 

James sat back in his chair and regarded the young man curiously, a bit surprised by the sudden outburst. "Well, Blair, I'm at a loss as to how to respond to such a heated charge. Perhaps you could tell me why it is that you believe England so disreputable?" 

Sighing, the young man rubbed his face. "It's a long and sordid tale...one that I simply don't have the energy to get into at the moment. Suffice to say that I was a 'guest' of the British navy before I was imprisoned in that French jail. I was captured as part of the crew of the HMS Reliant about three months ago." 

"You were a sailor?" James barked out in surprise. He had never even entertained such a thought. 

"A sailor? No. I am a teacher and I am a student of humanity in all its forms. I was conscripted into service in the Navy during a visit to England. I had no papers to prove that I was not of English descent and the burly men who grabbed me chose to disbelieve my story." 

James sat stone-faced. He knew such practices existed. The supply of able-bodied men who would volunteer for duty at sea had dwindled. Many of the Captains had resorted to what was little more than kidnapping to secure men to operate their ships. James himself could not stomach such a practice, but also understood the pressures and sacrifices of war. It was a difficult time. Normal practice though did not involve foreigners. He found with surprise that he believed the young man's claim without question. 

"I am sorry that you have been so ill treated by my country. You must understand though, we are in times of war. Many things are not as they were, or as we wish they were," James said wistfully. 

"War is often used as a way to excuse the most deplorable crimes," Blair argued. 

"I understand how you feel young man and personally, I might wish that times were different, but...unfortunately, I cannot change the way things are as much as I might like the opportunity." James looked down at the table lost in his own thoughts. 

Blair smiled slightly. "I believe you would, Captain. Tell me, what happened a moment ago?" 

"What do you mean?" James hedged. 

"When you froze. I do not believe you were just thinking. I have seen your symptoms before." 

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I simply was lost in my thoughts for a moment." 

"No," Blair said softly. "I think that it is something else. I might be able to help you with your condition. I am familiar with many forms of medicine." 

"You presume too much, young man. I do not need nor desire assistance. I have no problem and we will not speak of it further...do I make myself clear?" James said firmly. He could not allow anyone to learn of his problem. If it got around that he was ill, he could bid his commission in the navy farewell. 

"But..." Blair began only to be silenced by a wave of the Captain's fingers. 

"No. You will cease this line of discussion." 

"I am not one of your men who you can order about," Blair said angrily, standing once more. 

James stood as well, feeling his own anger growing. "While you are aboard this ship, you will do as I say!" His body began tingling as his anger increased. He felt energized like never before. Everything was clearer, louder. James didn't understand what was happening. He had never been assaulted by all of his ailments at once like this. 

"I won't be your obedient sailor! I will not!" Blair slammed his hand down on the table with a crack. 

James clutched his head in agony. The sound reverberated through his head like a cannon shot...only ten times louder. He stumbled and felt a strong hands grasp his elbow. Opening his eyes he got a quick glimpse of Blair's worried face before the brightness of the light forced him to close them again. 

"Leave me," he ground out, feeling behind himself for the hammock. He was mortified to be seen in such an undignified manner. 

"I will not leave you in such a state, Captain. Sit down and tell me what is wrong," Blair said quietly, helping James into his hammock to lie down. 

James tried to control the pain, but could not. He lay helplessly till callused hands began stroking his forehead. The cool fingers soothed him and he concentrated on the repetitive motions and the calming words of the young man standing next to his hammock. 

"Relax, Captain. Listen to my voice, feel my hands on your brow. Let the pain fade into the background," Blair murmured. 

Miraculously, James felt the pain easing. Soon, he opened his eyes and found Blair standing over him, gazing down at him with such a look of compassion the defensive words that rose to his lips died without being uttered. How could he deny to Blair what the young man had seen with his own eyes? How could he continue to deny it to himself? He was a danger to those that he led...to those that depended on him for their very lives. 

With a sigh, James closed his eyes again. "You do not have to say anything, young man. You are correct, I am ill. Do not worry, when we reach England I will resign my post. All I ask is that you do not give away my secret till then." 

"I have no intention of sharing anything that happens behind the door of your cabin with anyone, Captain. You will have no problems from me. All I ask is that you answer a few simple questions for me. Will you agree to that?" 

James opened his eyes and found that Blair had moved a chair close to the hammock and was seated comfortably beside him. It was obvious that the young man intended on having a long stay. Resignedly, James nodded. 

"I will answer what I can." 

"Tell me about your symptoms?" 

James struggled with how to answer. He did not even understand his symptoms himself, how could he possibly verbalize them? "I am not sure I can adequately explain them, but I will try." 

"That is truly all I ask," Blair said, staring at him eagerly. 

"All I have been able to determine is that I seem to have fallen prey to some sort of illness that affects the mind. I never know when or for how long it will effect me. Sometimes I can see as if through a telescope, sometimes I can hear men below deck whispering about their day, sometimes my clothes burn me, but worst of all, I have been unable to eat for more than a day. The food is like poison to me." James fell silent. How had the tables turned on him so quickly? He had brought Blair into his cabin to determine where the young man had come from and whether he was indeed a threat to his ship and had ended up sharing his secrets. How had that happened in the space of an hour? He knew he should not trust this stranger, he should heed his Lieutenant's warning, but yet...here he was telling the man everything. Regret hit him hard; he may have just made the worst mistake of his life. James sighed and rubbed his face. Too late. 

"Have you experienced any prolonged time alone recently?" James could easily hear the excitement in Blair's voice. 

"Well, yes actually," his mouth answered before he could censure it. "About 10 months ago I was sent on a solitary mission to deliver dispatches on enemy soil. I had to travel through the bush...I did not see another human being for three months." 

"That's it!" Blair exclaimed. "I cannot believe it. I cannot believe that after all this time..." The young man trailed off, lost in his thoughts. 

"What?" James asked, swinging his legs over the side of the hammock so that he could sit and face the young man on more equal terms. 

"I don't believe that you are ill, Captain. I have heard stories of this sort of thing in the tribe where I lived. It is said that some men possess the gift of enhanced senses," Blair told James excitedly. "Once in a generation such a man is born. He is born to protect and safeguard the tribe from any who would harm them. I believe you may be such a man. You may be a watchman." 

"A watchman," James said dryly. "You would have me believe that I am some sort of mystical being? I don't believe it." 

"Believe what you will, Captain. You have a choice. You can choose to disregard me or you can choose to allow me to attempt to help you." Blair stared at the Captain intently. 

James held the gaze for a time, attempting to decide whether the young man was trying to deceive him. He read only excitement and compassion. 

"You think that you can cure me?" 

"No, I can not cure you...nor would I even if I had the ability. You do not understand. This is not a disease, it is a blessing." 

"A curse is more like it. Two nights ago I was gazing out at the ocean at dusk...I came back to myself as dawn broke. I cannot trust myself to lead my men, even worse I cannot know that I will not do myself injury." James stood stiffly. "I will consider what you have said here tonight. Now, I must rest." 

Blair sat for a moment then rose to his feet. He walked to the door of cabin and opened it before turning back. "I can give you back your control, Captain. Think very hard before you dismiss me." With that Blair walked out and left James staring after him, deep in thought. 

* * *

James finally gave up trying to sleep. His mind was going too fast to settle down. Perhaps a walk on the deck would clear his thoughts. The night sea air often helped to settle his worries. It was the one time when the ship was quiet; free from the constant activity and chatter of the men. James was finding he sought out solitude more and more frequently. Everything seemed louder than it used to, he longed for the ease of solitude. He stepped out into the darkness and surveyed the ship. Catching a movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned in time to catch a glimpse of a lithe body climbing up the riggings. 

Blair. 

James focused and suddenly it seemed the young man was right in front of him. He stopped himself from putting out a hand to touch Blair. Knowing that this was only another of his incidents and would pass did nothing to quell the fear that boiled up inside him. 

It was similar to looking through a telescope. By forcing himself not to look away he was able to get a private up close view of the young man without fear of recrimination. James studied the man's body, noting how his muscles tightened and relaxed as he climbed. His gaze moved lower and James felt a surge of desire race through him as Blair's loincloth rode up. He caught a glimpse of thigh and the curve of a buttock. 

Blair arrived at his destination and sat down at the highest point of the ship. He crossed his legs and closed his eyes, chin high, and body seemingly relaxed. James was confused. He didn't understand how the young man could sit unbarred against the high winds that he would face at the top of the sails as the ship cut swiftly through the water. But Blair was the picture of peace. James felt himself relax as Blair took a deep breath. It was almost as if James was right there along-side him. 

After a time, Blair's eyes popped open. James was startled after becoming lulled by the young man's rhythmic breathing. Blair looked down and James had an odd feeling that the young man could see him. He stepped back further into the shadows. 

He knew that realistically there was no way Blair could see him from that high up. It was too dark. But still...there was also no sane way that 'he' should be able to watch Blair so closely. 

Blair stared in his direction for a moment before closing his eyes once more. James remained in his position till the dawn light began to peek over the horizon and Blair stood and stretched, preparing to climb back down. Only then did James move guiltily back inside his cabin. 

After that first time, it became a nightly occurrence. James would catch a few hours sleep early on then creep outside to wait for Blair to emerge from below and watch carefully as the young man followed the same pattern night after night. 

On the third night, it occurred to James that it was becoming easier to zero in on Blair simply by willing it. He was twice as confused to discover that all his attempts to zero in on anything 'but' Blair were met with failure. 

* * *

Archie rolled over onto his side in his hammock to watch Horatio sleep. There was just enough light from the lantern in the hall that he didn't have to strain in the dim room. He had tried to maintain the right degree of sympathy for Horatio when their last battle had demolished his small private cabin but inwardly he rejoiced that he would once again be able to be close to his friend when he slept. As much as he despised himself for it, it made him feel safer when Horatio was close to him. He knew the day would come when his friend would receive another promotion and leave the "Indefatigable" but until then he would treasure their friendship and continue to dream that one day it could become more. 

"Most people might at least _try_ to sleep on the night before they go off on an unknown ship, Archie," an amused voice whispered. 

Archie jumped at the unexpected voice in the darkness. He shuddered. Whispers in the darkness still had the power to shake him to the core. 

"Archie?" Horatio whispered again, concern in his voice. 

"I--I'm alright, Horatio. You startled me...that's all," Archie whispered back. 

"Damn Simpson," Horatio whispered angrily. 

"What are you on about, Horatio?" Archie said fearfully. Surely his friend didn't know about his shame. He would die of humiliation if Horatio knew. 

"I keep waking up. I guess being in this room again is bringing back bad memories for me," Horatio responded after a moment. 

Archie let out a quiet sigh of relief. "I could sing you a lullaby to help you sleep, little boy," he said with a chuckle. 

"Shhhh," someone said on the other side of the room. 

Horatio and Archie shared a laugh and lowered their voices even more. Archie could see his friend quite clearly now, as his eyes had adjusted to the dim light. Horatio was lying on his side as well, facing him. Archie felt like a child again, in his room whispering secrets with his brother. Only his feelings toward Horatio were anything but brotherly. 

"What do you think Captain Ellison is like, Horatio?" Archie asked. He had heard very little about the new Captain of the Valiant. 

"I suspect we will find out tomorrow, Archie." 

Archie smiled. He was not surprised that Horatio would not indulge himself in gossip, even with his best friend. "Why do you think you have been recalled to London?" he asked, more to just hear his friend's voice than curiosity. 

"I don't know. I have been trying to come up with a reason, but I cannot seem to do so. The only thing I can come up with is that perhaps my mother or father have...taken ill." Horatio's voice wavered a bit. 

"No, I'm sure that's not it, Horatio. They would never go to such extremes to recall you for a family matter." Archie could not stand the distress in his friend's voice. 

"I am sure you are right. I just cannot think of any purpose to my returning to London." 

"I think it would be best to put it out of your mind. You will have no way of knowing until you actually arrive and worrying will only cause you needless distress. I know--you can distract yourself by helping me prepare for my Lieutenant's exam," Archie said in an attempt to change the subject. "God knows I will need all the help I can get." 

"Of course I will help you study, Archie...though do remember that my own testing did not go well," Horatio said with humor in his voice. 

"I am surely lost then," Archie lamented, throwing an arm over his eyes. 

"You'll do fine, Archie. I know you can do this," Horatio said, reaching over to clamp Archie's arm in support. 

Archie could not help himself. He slid his arm up till he could clasp his friend's hand in his own. He smiled happily when Horatio didn't pull away. He lay there, clasping Horatio's hand as he gently drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Sunny sky and calm seas greeted them the next morning. Stepping onto the deck, Horatio shouldered his pack and felt rather than saw Archie take his place beside him. They shaded their eyes and got their first glimpse of the HMS Valiant. She was a beautiful ship. 

Captain Pellew looked up as they approached. "It seems everything went well for Captain Ellison. They are right on time," he stated, looking out at the approaching vessel. 

"Yes," Horatio said, standing at ease beside his Captain. He would miss the older man who had become a mentor and valued friend. Unfortunately, he could not say the words to let the Captain know how he felt. Instead he saluted him and with a nod and a quick handshake made his way to the boat that would transport them to the other ship. 

Archie was tense beside him. His friend did not take well to unknown situations. While Archie would never say so, Horatio knew that he always worried that something would trigger another attack. Horatio was glad that he could be with his friend in the event that he was overcome by his illness. 

He bumped Archie with his shoulder. "Well, I guess we are in for another grand adventure my friend." 

"Yes, but with any luck a quieter one than our last." 

Horatio nodded, it would indeed be nice to have a peaceful journey for once. 

They climbed aboard and were greeted by the ship's Captain. Horatio heard Archie's small gasp beside him and a low, wondrous whisper. 

"That's Captain Ellison?" 

Horatio looked at the other man and didn't get what the big deal was. Sure the Captain was fit; tall and moderately good looking--alright very good looking--but Archie had no business sounding so taken with the man. 

"Hornblower, I presume," Captain Ellison greeted. 

"I am Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower of the Indefatigable at your service, sir. This is Acting Lieutenant Archie Kennedy. It's a pleasure to sail with you, Captain." 

"Thank you Lieutenant. I will of course expect you both to assume regular duties while you are on board the Valiant. Midshipman Mosby will show you to your quarters and then perhaps you will join me in my cabin for a talk?" 

"Of course, sir." Horatio nodded to the Captain and then he and Archie trailed after the midshipman. He caught the eye of a long-curly-haired young man standing off to the side and felt an instant of ...something...before they were past him and moving down the steps to the interior of the ship. 

"Who was that?" Horatio asked the young man leading them. Archie looked at him curiously. 

"Who was what, sir?" Mosby asked. 

There was a dark-haired man in some sort of loincloth on board, who is he?" 

"Oh, that is a prisoner that we rescued from the French along with our own men. We're taking him back to London. I don't rightly think anyone really knows who he is, except the Captain I'm sure." 

Horatio nodded and stayed silent, ignoring Archie's curious look. He would have to seek out the young man later. 

* * *

Blair took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the Captain's cabin. It had been three days and still the older man hadn't come to him. Blair was happy to have found a reason to open up a dialogue between himself and the reclusive Captain. He took the incomprehensible shout from inside as permission to enter. Opening the door, he found that the Captain was not alone. The two young men that he saw boarding the ship earlier were with him. 

"Oh, excuse me," Blair stammered, a bit unnerved as the three men turned to look at him. He was even more confused as he saw something very much like relief pass over James' face. The expression was gone in an instant, replaced by the blank look that the Captain wore most of the time. 

"Yes, Blair? What can I do for you?" 

"It is not important, I will return later." 

"Nonsense," James commanded. "State your purpose." 

Blair glanced at the other two men before answering. "I am teaching a few of the men how to fight with a staff..." he ignored the little huff of amusement the remark garnered, "...and I've struck a bargain with any who would learn. For each hour of combat they must give me an hour of study to broaden their minds. I am in shortage of books and I thought that perhaps I could borrow one of yours from time to time." Blair gestured toward the shelf in the corner that held a small collection of titles. 

Before James could answer, Blair continued. "I would take extremely good care with them and always return one before taking another." 

James looked over at him in amusement. "As I was about to say, you are welcome to borrow from my books. Books are made to be shared, not hidden away. Understand this though, each book in my collection holds important memories for me and I would expect you to treat them as you would your own." 

Blair ached with curiosity. His heart leapt at this unexpected side of the other man. He wanted so much to ask James about his collection and what memories each book held. But now was not the time for such questions. They would wait until he could be alone with the Captain. 

For now he smiled widely. "Be assured that I have the utmost respect for all written word. They will come to no harm in my care...you have my word. May I borrow the one on Astronomy now? I believe it would do the young men good to learn a bit more about the skies that guide them." 

Blair practically bounced in his enthusiasm. James hesitated and seeing the reluctance in the Captain's eyes, Blair backtracked. "The one on Geography would do just as well." 

"No," James stated finally. "I believe you will take extreme care. You may borrow my mother's book." 

Blair's eyes widened. "No, really, I would not want to take anything that you are uncomfortable lending." 

"I insist. You are right. The men would do well to learn more of the stars. It is commendable that you wish to teach them." The Captain walked over and withdrew the text carefully and handed it to the young man. Blair's heart rate increased as their eyes met and their fingers touched briefly. Then James stepped back. 

Blair turned to go, but was stopped by a voice behind him. 

"One moment Mr.?" the dark-haired man asked. 

Blair turned back and looked directly at the man for the first time. He was quite surprised that he had forgotten the others were in the room. The Captain had a way of making everything else fade for him. The speaker was young, probably in his early twenties, with unruly dark hair and handsome features. 

"Sandburg," Blair said to the implied question. "But please call me Blair." 

The man nodded. "I am Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower and this is my friend, Acting Lieutenant Archie Kennedy." 

Blair shook their hands, noting the Captain's flush of embarrassment at his gaffe of not introducing them properly. "What can I do for you Lieutenant?" Blair asked. 

"Could I sit in on your lesson? I would enjoy a discussion of Astronomy. It is nice sometimes to get away from the war and discuss more pleasant matters." 

"Of course!" Blair said enthusiastically. It would be good to have someone there who really wanted to be there rather than being bribed into it. "You are very welcome...both of you," he said including Archie in his offer. "We convene at 2100 hours, starboard for any who have an interest." 

"I would be honored, Blair," Horatio said warmly. 

Blair returned the Lieutenant's smile and was puzzled by Archie's annoyed look at the gesture. He stored away that bit of information and tucking the book under his arm, took his leave. Once safely out of the Captain's line of sight, Blair couldn't stop the smile that took over his face. His plan had worked beautifully. He now had a reason to keep going to see the Captain...and he really did need the material to teach the men. Perhaps next time he could engage James in a conversation about one of his books. He knew the Captain would grow to like him if he would only spend a bit of time with him. Clutching the text tightly, he hurried to find some solitude to prepare for his talk. 

* * *

Horatio and Archie left the Captain's room shortly after Blair. They strolled together on deck, getting a feel for the ship while enjoying the cool evening air. "So, what do you think of our temporary shipmates?" Archie asked at they walked. 

"The Captain seemed intelligent, perhaps a bit preoccupied. His men certainly seem loyal to him." 

"They do at that," Archie said pensively. "What do you make of the one in the loincloth? Strange fellow." 

"I'm not sure Archie. There's something about him." Horatio seemed confused about Blair. 

"I gathered that already," Archie said sullenly. 

"What?" 

"Nothing Horatio. Why don't we head starboard and catch the young man in action?" Archie suppressed his dismay at how taken his friend was with the dark-haired young man. In his own understated way, Horatio had just clearly stated his fascination with the odd young man and Archie felt jealousy burn in his stomach. 

As they drew closer they heard the cheers of the men. Archie was surprised to see Blair in the center of the ring of sailors, facing off against the blond-haired man who had showed them around...Mosby. Yes, Mosby was his name. 

"Get him, Mosby!" a voice shouted in the crowd, making the others laugh. The men circled each other, staffs held tightly in their hands. 

They watched with interest as Mosby attacked and Blair easily defended his blow, sweeping the man's feet out from under him. Blair ended the quick move by putting the stick under Mosby's chin and holding him to the ground. After a moment he pulled away and held out his hand to the sailor. 

Good-naturedly, Mosby accepted the hand and climbed to his feet, listening intently as Blair took him through some basic movements. 

Horatio watched each movement carefully and Archie watched Horatio--growing less and less happy with the way his friend seemed to be studying the young half-clothed man. 

Finally, unable to hold his silence any longer, Archie asked," "What is it about him that you find so fascinating?" 

Horatio turned to face him contemplatively. "I'm not sure. I've never met anyone like him before." He turned back to the action. 

"Yes...well, I'm going to continue my walk. Are you coming?" 

Horatio didn't answer. He seemed too engrossed in the smooth movements of the fighting men to pay any attention. 

Archie sighed and stepped away from his friend. He had only taken a few steps when he spotted a tall man in the shadows, standing to the side watching the training. He stepped closer and was surprised to recognize the Captain leaning against a bulkhead, back far enough from the action so that he wouldn't be spotted easily by his men. Archie walked over to him. 

The Captain spoke to him as he approached. "The young Lieutenant seems quite taken with Blair." James' voice was indecipherable. 

"So it would seem," Archie sighed, leaning against the bulkhead beside the Captain. 

"Are you and he...close?" James asked. 

Archie smiled. "Not like you are imagining, Captain." For some reason he felt very at ease with the older man. He could not imagine leaning beside Captain Pellew and talking in hushed tones as he was now doing with Captain Ellison. The Captain actually blushed and Archie smiled wider. "We are good friends. Horatio could never see more that that I'm afraid." 

Turning toward him, the Captain put his hands behind his back and gestured back the way Archie had come earlier with a toss of his head. "Would you care to walk?" 

"Yes," Archie nodded, falling into step beside the other man, oblivious to the two sets of eyes that watched their departure in surprise and not just a little dismay. 

"So, why are you and the Lieutenant heading to London?" James asked as they strolled. 

"Horatio had been summoned to appear to Admiral Moore. I will be attempting my Lieutenant's examination." 

"Good for you." 

"We shall see. I have my doubts." 

"Then you are already defeated," James said quietly. 

Archie stopped and leaned his back against the railing. James came to a stop beside him, leaning over the rail, staring out into the increasingly foggy ocean. 

"I know you are right but still..." Archie trailed off, surprised at himself for sharing confidences with the Captain. He normally found himself tongue-tied around men of authority, yet with Ellison he felt comfortable, at ease. 

"I will tell you a secret," James said with a smile. "It is all attitude...go in confident. Do not concern yourself with passing their tests. Make yourself believe that you can handle three old sea Captains and you will prevail. They are like sharks, Mr. Kennedy; they zero in on fear and weakness. Confidence in yourself is important, making them _believe_ they can not shake you is the key to success." 

"In that case, I may as well admit defeat now," Archie whispered, looking down at his hands. 

"Nonsense, young man," James barked, not noticing how Archie jumped at his sudden exclamation. "I can teach you how to handle those men. In the end you must remember that they are simply men like you, nothing more." 

"Is that how you passed?" Archie asked curiously. 

"Yes...well, confidence and imagining the panel in their skivvies. I've been blessed with a great imagination and three old sea Captains with their knobby knees showing took care of their aura of intimidation aptly." James grinned as Archie laughed. 

"Do you mean it?" Archie asked after a time. "About the lessons I mean?" 

"Of course. I will be happy to coach you." 

Archie grinned, with Horatio's help with studying and the Captain's tutelage in how to present the proper image; he was beginning to believe that perhaps he had a chance after all. 

They stood in silence, Archie facing inward, surveying the ship, James facing outward, surveying the sea. 

* * *

James stiffened as he saw a brief flash in the water. He concentrated on the spot and felt the dizzying sensation that he had come to associate with his attacks. Suddenly the darkness seemed to lighten, and the fog that surrounded them became transparent. A ship. He saw an enemy ship, shockingly close to them. Jerking back in alarm the view faded and he was once again staring out into the light fog and the darkness. 

But he knew the ship was there, silently, under the cover of the fog, moving closer. 

"Damn," he swore. 

Archie was staring at him in confusion. "What is it?" 

"Get Blair," James whispered abruptly. 

"What is wrong?" Archie asked, staring into the darkness but unable to make out anything in the darkness and fog. 

"Please just fetch the young man for me," James asked. He grabbed Archie's arm as the Acting Lieutenant turned to go. "Quietly," he whispered before releasing him and turning back to the sea. 

Archie quickly walked toward the last place he had seen the young man. James concentrated on the area where he had seen the ship, but try as he might he could not force his eyes to reveal it again. 

He grabbed a passing sailor. "We have company. Call the men to the cannons, but do so very quietly. I do not want the enemy aware that we are on to them." 

After a quick look into the seemingly quiet ocean, the man set off to do the Captain's bidding. 

James felt, rather than saw, Blair step up next to him. He turned his eyes away from the sea for a moment so that he could fully explain the seriousness of their situation "You say that my ability is not a sickness. You say that you can help me use it. I need to know if your words were true and not some fantasy." 

Blair held his gaze, refusing to back down. "It was the truth," he answered simply. 

"There is a ship out there stalking us." James gestured subtly in the direction he had witnessed the vessel. "I saw it briefly but my sight...faded...before I could stop it and I have not been able to see again. Can you help me?" 

"I will try," Blair asserted. 

James looked over Blair's shoulder. "Hornblower." 

"Yes sir." The young man snapped to attention, Archie standing beside him. 

"Have the men be ready to fire to the west on my command." 

"Yes sir," Horatio answered. He and Archie strode away leaving the Captain and Blair alone. 

Blair stood close to James and placed a hand on the Captain's back. There was covert movement all around them, but James was surprised how calm he felt. The confusion and activity did not touch him. 

"Your ability is natural, Captain. Controlling it will also become natural to you. I need you to take deep breaths. With every inhale concentrate on your sight. With every exhale I want you to imagine your vision expanding. Reach out with your eyes...concentrate only on vision, let your other senses fall to the background." 

Blair continued speaking in a calm even voice. James was too relaxed to be surprised when it began to work. Soon he was once again able to see the ship. He kept the rhythmic breathing going until the men were clear to him. Suddenly, he felt himself fading and pulled away from the image abruptly. Blair's hand rubbed soothingly on his back as he recovered his equilibrium. 

James turned to the younger man. "It worked but I started...losing myself," he explained at Blair's concerned look. 

"Try again, but this time do not focus completely on your vision. Attempt to keep a small part of your mind on another sense." Blair patted James on the back. "This, my hand on your back. Try again," he encouraged. 

James nodded and focused once again on the fog-filled night. This time it worked better. James could clearly see the men on the deck of the other ship. He searched and found the ship's Captain. Watching as the man gave orders, James was amazed at how loudly the man's actions spoke to him. He could easily follow the other Captain's movements as the man prepared for a sneak attack. Each time James felt himself begin to fade, instead of turning away, he concentrated on feeling Blair's hand on his back. It helped him to focus--helped him to keep the darkness at bay. Finally the other ship pulled closer. He saw the Captain raise his arm to give the order that he had been watching for. 

James spun to his men. "FIRE!" he cried and their cannons sounded before the other ship was able to get off a shot. 

He heard the startled cries of the men on the other ship--cries of fear and pain. James pulled his own gun and moved backwards, away from the railing, pulling Blair with him. Gunfire and cannon fire sounded all around them. 

"I must get to my position so that I can lead my men...come with me," James shouted above the turmoil. They stumbled as the impact of a nearby cannon rocked them. Blair grasped his arms. 

"No! I will help attend the wounded," he shouted then spun away to assist a young sailor who was clutching his chest, before James could stop him. 

The Captain did not have the time to convince the younger man to go with him to safer ground. He ran, narrowly avoiding a blast to his right. The compulsion to stay with the young man was overwhelming, but his duty was clear. Blair could take care of himself. 

The battle was mercifully short. First strike had given them the edge that they needed. Their enemy's ship was badly damaged before they even had a chance to fire their guns. James watched from his position on the upper deck as the French frigate sank out of sight into the ocean. 

He quietly instructed his Lieutenant to pick up any survivors. The men would be held as prisoners until they were able to reach London. A cheer went up on the Valiant as the men realised that they had won the battle. James found the cheer when mingled with the cries of pain from his own men disconcerting. 

He closed his eyes, seeking a momentary respite from the inevitable remains of the battle--men broken, bleeding...dead. His eyes sprang open once again as he realised he had not seen Blair since the battle began. Telling himself it was only due to the fact that the young man held an instrumental part in their victory, he searched the deck below for a glimpse of Blair. He did not see him. 

James turned as Lieutenant Hornblower stepped up next to him. The young man's uniform was ripped and smoky but what drew James's eyes was the Lieutenant's pale complexion. 

"Captain Ellison?" 

"Yes, Mr. Hornblower," James replied, turning his eyes back to searching for the young savage. 

"I am unable to locate Acting Lieutenant Kennedy. Do you know his whereabouts?" 

James turned back toward Horatio, giving him his complete attention. Horatio was shaking slightly, his hands clasped tightly behind him, obviously attempting to appear professional. 

"Last I saw of young Archie, he was in your company." 

"We became separated in the battle, Captain. I had hoped you had seen him." 

"I am sorry Lieutenant, but I have not." James turned to his second in command. "Take over here Mr. Taggart. I must see to the men." The seaman nodded and James turned back to Horatio. "Come Hornblower, we will locate your friend." 'And Blair,' James added silently. 

They moved across the deck without speaking, James pausing to offer comfort to the wounded that were being attended to by their shipmates. The attack had been mild by their standards, but deadly none the less. James caught a glimpse of dark curls and moved quickly in that direction. The Captain's tension eased as he caught sight of the young man. Blair looked up as they approached. James gaped at the blood that covered the young man's body. 

"Blair, are you injured?" he asked stepping close. 

Blair turned back to the wounded man whose shoulder he was currently bandaging. "I am not injured Captain. The blood you see is from the senseless injury of many young men in the name of Britain." 

Horatio stepped forward, halting the words that James would have used to defend his country. "Have you seen my companion, Acting Lieutenant Kennedy?" he asked urgently. 

Blair fixed him with a sympathetic look and James saw the fear blossom in Horatio's eyes. 

"Where is he?" he ground out. 

"He was attempting to go to the aid of a sailor when cannon fire hit." Blair gestured toward a large hole ripped in the deck. The man he was aiding fell through and Archie with him, while trying to pull him to safety." 

"You did not help him!" Horatio raised his voice; his well kept composure cracking finally. 

Blair stood and faced the angry Lieutenant. "It happened in an instant and I could not go after him. You would have me let one die to go after another who may not be as gravely injured?" Blair yelled back. 

James stepped between the men. "Mr. Hornblower, I suggest that you and I go after Archie. Blair, there are others who need your help." 

Horatio stepped back immediately, searching for a way down the gaping hole. Blair sighed and rubbed his hand over his face before going over to the Lieutenant and putting a hand on his back. Horatio stiffened and glared down at him. 

"I am sorry, I know you fear for your friend. I would gladly have helped if it were possible. I hope you find him well." 

Horatio paused for a moment then let out a shuddering breath. "I did not mean to accuse you I just..." he shook his head, unable to explain. 

"I understand, it is alright. Go find your friend." 

James gave Blair a look of approval, then turned to Horatio. "Come, we will go below deck and make our way to him." James knew that the odds were that Archie could very well have been killed by the fall or the cannon fire, but refused to believe that the kind young man that he had so recently made acquaintance with was no longer living. 

James set off for the ladder that would lead them below, noticing that Blair followed behind Lieutenant Hornblower. 

When they descended into the darkened interior of the ship they all paused in dismay. The cannon blast had impacted right over their food hold, James noted with a foreboding feeling. As they approached the doorway to the hold, he was amazed at the devastation. The roof had partially collapsed; leaving their way blocked by beams and boards...it was not passable. They approached the rubble carefully, coughing at the gun smoke still in the air. 

Horatio grasped one board and tried to move it aside. Dirt fell around him as the unsteady beams above them shifted and moaned. James reached out and stilled Horatio's hands. 

"No. We can do nothing until we get men down here to shore up the structure." James said regretfully. Horatio looked up at him, not even bothering to try to hide the pain in his eyes. 

"But Captain, Archie may be injured...may be dying...every second we are delayed could make the difference. Please let me continue," he pleaded. 

"I cannot, Lieutenant. You could bring the entire structure down on our heads...on Archie's head. That would serve no one," he said gently. 

"Captain?" 

James looked away from the anguished man as Blair called to him. The young man was staring pensively at the wall. James went over to stand by the young man as Horatio moved away, trying to find a way into the room but not touching the rubble. 

"What is it, Blair?" 

"The cannon hit close to the side of the ship," he began continuing to study the wall. 

James nodded; thinking that he knew what Blair was getting at. 

"So, it is conceivable that the force of the blast may have taken out a portion of the wall in that room," the young man gestured to the impassable doorway. 

Horatio rushed over at the words. "Yes, of course! We can get in that way," he said running for the ladder that led back up to the deck. 

By the time James and Blair made it topside the frantic young man had already secured a rope and was in the process of tying one end to the mast. Without delay he dropped the other over the edge of the ship. 

James stepped over and grabbed the Lieutenant's arm when he would have thrown his leg over the railing. Horatio looked at him in surprise. 

"What?" he practically shouted, forgetting for a moment to whom he was speaking. 

James kept a tight grip on the young man's arm. "I will go, Lieutenant. You will pause and calm yourself before following me, are we clear?" James asked in a steely voice, leaving no room for argument. If he let Horatio go over the edge recklessly in the state that he was in, the young man could very well do himself harm. Horatio opened his mouth to argue but James held up his hand. 

"We are wasting time. Stand aside Lieutenant Hornblower." Reluctantly, Horatio stepped down and allowed the Captain to take his place. A small crowd of men had begun to gather around them, obviously curious as to what was happening. 

James started down the knotted rope. As he got over the lip edge he breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the damage to the hull of the ship was well above water level. It would cause them difficulty were they to run into rocky water, but for now they were in no immediate danger. The hole from the blast did look large enough to pass through and at first glance it seemed reasonably clear. 

He looked up to find Blair and Horatio both leaning over the railing, watching his progress. 

"You were right, Blair. I think I can get into the hold." James swung the rope gently until he could grab the edge of the fissure. He pulled himself through the hole and into the darkened interior. 

James stood still just inside the opening, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. When he was able to see clearly, he scanned the room. The interior was black with soot and debris. The food housed there was unusable. James sighed as he realised the ramifications. They were in for some difficult times. A soft voice grabbed his attention. 

"Is someone there?" 

James hurried over to the corner of the room. He found Archie trapped beneath a large fallen beam. "Mr. Kennedy, are you injured?" 

"Captain, is that you? I cannot see anything in this bloody darkness." 

James was perplexed for a moment. He could see quite clearly. It was dim but there was no problem making things out. He worried that perhaps the young officer had struck his head, affecting his vision. He knelt beside Archie, his eyes searching him for injury. 

"Yes, it is me, Archie. Lay still." The young man seemed intact, James noted with relief. 

"I don't think I'm hurt badly, Captain, but Collins..." Archie looked off to his right and James followed his gaze to find a man that he recognized as one of his crew. The sailor was pinned from the chest down under the same beam that seemed to have caught only Archie's legs. 

James stepped across Archie to examine the other man. 

"He stopped talking about twenty minutes ago," Archie said quietly. 

James looked down at the man's still face. Blood had trickled form the sailor's mouth and down his neck. A quick check confirmed the Captain's suspicions. The man was beyond help. Archie was struggling to free himself and still talking. 

"We have been talking. Did you know he has a wife and child in a farming community back home? He took this job because the farm had fallen on hard times and he needed to provide for his family. He does not even like the sea." Archie's voice cracked. 

James closed the dead man's eyes and with a silent prayer, turned back to the living. The Captain put a hand on Archie's forehead, trying to still the young man's struggles. 

"It is too late for Collins, Archie. I am sorry." 

Archie's eyes were bright with unshed tears. "He asked me to tell his wife and son that he loved them," he said in a broken whisper. James nodded; knowing there was nothing he could say to ease the young man's mind. Spending a couple of hours talking to a man who was probably quite aware that he was dying would have been difficult for the most seasoned officer. James hoped that when his time came it was quick. He could think of nothing worse than enduring a drawn out demise. 

"Captain!" A shout came from the fissure. James stood and saw that Horatio and Blair were standing just inside the room, staring around blankly. 'They can't see,' James thought in amazement. He watched as Blair lit the lantern that they had brought with them. James shielded his eyes from the bright painful flair of light. When he removed his arm, everything seemed normal once again. The two men spotted him. 

"Captain!" Blair shouted again. 

"He is here," James said kneeling back down beside the distraught man," "but Collins did not make it." 

He looked up again as Horatio came to an abrupt halt on Archie's other side, dropping to his knees beside his friend. He grabbed Archie's hand and James could see the veins in his hand standing out, betraying the strength of his grip. 

James stood and moved to stand beside Blair, trying to give the two men a semblance of privacy. Even so, he could not draw his eyes away from the pair. 

"Archie," Horatio whispered. "Are you in pain?" he asked as the young man turned a tear streaked face toward him. 

"No, Horatio...not a lot any way...get me out of here. Please?" 

Horatio nodded and stood, examining the plank that held his friend. James, who had been considering the options, stepped forward again. 

"I think Blair and I could lift this far enough for you to pull Archie out from under." 

Horatio nodded in agreement and Blair sat the lantern on the floor, taking up a position on the opposite side of beam from James. Horatio knelt behind Archie, gripping him under the arms. 

"Ready?" James asked taking his position. "Now!" 

The beam shifted and Archie cried out in pain as it settled differently on his leg. They stopped and Archie grimaced. "Try again, I am alright." 

James turned back to Blair, meeting his eyes across the beam. "Again. Now!" They lifted, eyes locked together. James felt as if he were drawing strength from the young man. The beam shifted and rose. Horatio pulled Archie clear. 

"We are clear!" he shouted and they let the beam go. There was a large crack and James looked up just as a large section of the roof broke away, falling toward him. 

"NO!" he heard Blair shout and arms grabbed him around the waist, throwing him backwards. 

* * *

Blair wasn't sure what made him look up the moment before the beam above them broke away and fell toward the Captain. It had obviously been jostled by the way they had shifted the rubble. Afterward, he would only be thankful that he had looked up in time to save James. 

He saw the crack widen and acted without thinking--throwing himself bodily towards the Captain. He caught James around the waist and his momentum carried them both out of harm's way. Or almost. Blair felt a sharp pain in his leg as they fell. They landed hard, Blair on top of the bigger man. He stayed there as the unstable wreckage around them once again settled. He could feel James struggling to regain his breath as Blair tried to deal with the pain in his leg. He opened his eyes and found the dust settled. Horatio was crouched over Archie, shielding him with his own body. James shifted beneath him and Blair couldn't stop the cry of pain that burst from his lips. 

He rolled off the Captain and clutched his injured leg with his hands. James sat up quickly and looked around in confusion for a second, then he focused on Blair and saw the blood. He was on his knees beside the younger man in a heartbeat, pressing his hand against the wound, attempting to slow the flow of blood. 

"Blair," James said through gritted teeth. "You need to focus...to stay awake." 

Blair nodded. His head felt light...everything seemed far away. The Captain's face swam in front of him. Then in spite of his best efforts to do as James had asked, the world went dark. 

* * *

"Damn," James swore. He began unraveling his ascot from around his neck. He glanced over where Horatio knelt by young Kennedy. "How is he?" he asked, working quickly to wrap the cloth tightly around Blair's injured leg. The cut was long and deep. James knew that he needed to get the bleeding stopped immediately if the young man were to survive. 

"I think he is going to be fine, Captain," Horatio responded. James nodded but didn't look up from his work. 

"I am fine, Horatio. It is simply bruises and scratches. My legs seem to work. Go help the Captain." 

James knew that Archie had only whispered the words but he heard them as if they had been shouted. 

"Archie..." Horatio began uncertainly. 

"Truly, I am fine, Horatio, I swear it," the Acting Lieutenant interrupted. 

Archie must have convinced Horatio because in a moment the young man was kneeling on the other side of Blair. 

"What can I do?" he asked, staring down at Blair's ashen face. 

"Your ascot," James said. Horatio quickly unraveled it and handed it to the Captain, who quickly added it to his own. 

"I think the blood has slowed. We must get him to the doctor." 

Horatio nodded and jumped up immediately, running to the only entry point of the room, to call to the men above for assistance. Soon they had Blair tied on and were ready to hoist him to deck level. 

James climbed up the rope first and helped to pull Blair to safety. When Blair was laid gently onto the deck he turned to Lieutenant Welles. "Where is the doctor, man?" 

"I'm sorry, Captain, the doctor did not make it." 

James paused for a moment. The doctor, though not in truth a real doctor, was a good man with a true gift for healing. He would be missed. James pushed the thoughts aside, once again telling himself to attend to the living. He stood and gestured to two of his men. 

"Take him to my cabin. He saved my life and I will attend him." 

Welles looked at him in surprise. James fixed him with a hard stare. "Do you have a problem Mr. Welles?" 

"No...no Captain," he stammered. "No problem." 

"Good. See to Mr. Hornblower and Mr. Kennedy. Then come to my cabin with a report on our losses, damages and the enemy survivors." James turned and headed off after the men who had disappeared carrying Blair. 

He knew that in taking the young man to his cabin to care for him, he was going to cause dissention in his crew. Even so, there was no way he was going to let a man who saved his life and who seemed to hold the key to his fits die if he could do anything to change that fate. Protocol be damned. His men would have to get used to it. Without great care the young man could easily die. James had seen it so often before. A seemingly non-life-threatening wound could easily become infected and kill without the proper attention. 

He entered the room and found that the men had cleared his table and placed Blair in its center. He nodded his approval and dismissed the crewmembers. One young man remained behind. 

"Can I assist you Captain? Blair is...a friend," he said nervously. 

James regarded the young man before nodding. "Todd Mosby isn't it?" he asked, recognizing the sailor from the staff lesson with Blair earlier. 

"Yes, sir," Todd answered, obviously pleased that the Captain remembered him. 

"Alright, Mr. Mosby. We will need to stitch this cut. I need you to find the doctor's case. It should have everything we need. Take the needle within and hold it over a flame to cleanse it, then bring it and the case here to me. As quickly as you can." 

The young man ran out and James had just begun to unwind the bindings on Blair's leg when he started to come around. 

"Captain?" he said groggily. 

"I am here, Chief. You must stay still." The endearment came from his lips before he could stop it. It seemed right somehow. James walked to the head of the table so that he could see the young man's face. The fear he saw in the blue eyes moved him greatly. "It will be all right." 

"My leg hurts," Blair said with a grimace. 

"Yes...it is a long deep cut." James reached behind himself and pulled a bottle of whisky off the shelf behind him. "Here, drink some of this, it will help with the pain." He held the bottle to Blair's lips and helped the young man take a few swallows. Blair lay back, coughing. 

"With your permission, I would like to stitch the wound," James said, stepping back from the table to pour fresh water into a basin. He returned to Blair's side with a cloth and began to stroke it across his face. He carefully cleaned away the dust, dirt and blood. 

Blair's eyes cleared, but he still spoke weakly. "You have done this before?" 

"Many times," James lied. "You have nothing to fear." 

Blair seemed comforted by that, but as James moved to return to his leg, the young man grasped his arm. "Promise me that you will not take my leg...promise me. I have seen it done. I will not live like that. If it comes to a choice I choose death. Promise me?" 

James shook his head. "I will do what I must Blair and you will not die. Do I make myself clear?" 

Blair turned his face away and James sighed and gripped his chin, turning his face back. "It will not come to that, Blair. You will remain here until you are healed. We will take every precaution and when you leave my cabin you will be whole and healthy." 

Blair relaxed and nodded, reaching his hand up to grasp the Captain's where it gripped his chin. He pulled the bigger man's hand up and pressed it against his cheek. James felt a wave of tenderness rush through him, an unfamiliar feeling. He allowed the intimacy until Todd burst back into the cabin. 

He pulled his hand away quickly but couldn't avoid the curious look from the young sailor as he briefly saw the tender moment. Todd wisely said nothing and handed the supplies over to James. The needle was still hot to the touch. 

* * *

Horatio sat down heavily beside his friend. "What happened, Archie?" 

"Not much to tell really. I saw Collins get shot and I ran over to help him. Next thing I know that floor was disappearing out from under us. I grabbed the ropes above me and tried to support both our weights but I was not strong enough and we both fell..." Archie stopped talking and gasped, his face twisting in pain. 

"What is it, Archie?" Horatio asked getting to his knees beside him. 

"It's my bloody legs. I could not move them for a long time...I guess now they are waking up." He gritted his teeth against the pain. 

Horatio moved down and began rubbing his friend's legs, trying to speed up the flow of blood. Soon Archie calmed and Horatio gave his leg one last pat before standing. "I'm not sure about you, but I would like to get clear of this place. Can you walk?" 

"I think so. Give me a hand up." 

Horatio pulled his friend to his feet. When Archie wobbled unsteadily, Horatio stepped closer and caught him around the waist, drawing Archie's arm over his shoulder. Archie gratefully accepted the support, leaning heavily on the Lieutenant. His eyes were drawn once more to Collin's body, where it lay still trapped by the beam. 

"You would not have let him fall, Horatio," he said quietly. The lost look in Archie's eyes disturbed Horatio. 

"I could do no more than you, Archie. It was simply his time to go. I am only glad that it was not yours as well." 

"I always go on, Horatio. I'm just so tired." 

Horatio pulled his friend toward the opening, choosing to misunderstand the sentiment. "You will be able to rest soon, Archie. But first we must get out of this hold." Archie turned away from the dead man and with Horatio's aid, made his way to the surface of the ship. 

* * *

Blair's world had narrowed to only pain. Incredible mind-altering pain. He felt each movement of the needle as it was drawn through his flesh. He bit down harder on the leather between his teeth and strained not to scream. His face was flushed red, tendons standing out on his neck as he struggled to stay conscious. 

"Just once more, Blair. We are almost done. One more time and it is over," he heard James say in a disembodied voice. Then more pain. Finally it eased and he sagged in relief. The throbbing ache of his newly stitched leg seemed almost comfortable after the fire of before. Then James was there, cooling his brow with a wet cloth and removing the leather that he had forgotten was between his teeth. 

"You did well, Chief. Sleep now." 

Exhaustion, whiskey and the wonderfully soothing touch of the Captain's hand won out and he faded into a deep sleep. 

* * *

Horatio woke with a start, staring at the ceiling in the darkness, struggling to throw off the remains of sleep. He wasn't sure what had awakened him. 

"What's wrong with him now?" a harsh voice said from across the room. 

Horatio rolled onto his side and his heart clenched as he found his friend wracked by tremors once again. He swore silently and bounded out of his hammock to Archie's side. It had been so long since his friend's last attack. He had hoped that now that Simpson was dead...Horatio let the thought go as he knelt by Archie's side and gripped the young man's arms tightly, trying to make sure he didn't hurt himself. 

"Shhh, Archie...I've got you," Horatio murmured, amazed at the strength of the vibrations passing through his friend. 

"Keep him quiet for god's sake," a voice hissed in the darkness. 

Horatio turned and glared at the man in the next hammock. No matter what ship they were on it seemed the men were all the same. No thoughts to helping a fellow sailor, only ridicule and fear. Half the men on the "Indefatigable" thought that they might somehow catch Archie's affliction. They stayed far away whenever the young man's convulsions began. No thought to helping--only fear. Horatio sighed and held Archie down, hoping that the convulsion would pass quickly. Each attack always left his friend weak. Worse of all they left him frightened and ashamed. 

The tremors eased and finally stopped, leaving Archie panting for breath. They stayed silent for quite some time; Horatio eased his grip but did not release his friend. Finally, Archie's body began to shudder again, but Horatio knew that this time it was not the sickness. 

"Archie," he said with a catch in his voice. Archie turned his face away as the tears that Horatio knew he was desperately attempting not to shed began. It was always like this. After the attack his friend wasn't capable of hiding his emotion. 

"Archie," Horatio breathed again, climbing onto the hammock and pulling his friend up and into his arms. "It is alright, I'm here." 

Archie tried to push him away but Horatio knew that he would never leave his friend like this. No matter how many times they played out this same scenario he would be there. He held Archie tighter until he felt the young man relax and lean against him, his arms circling around his back to hold him tightly. 

Eventually, Archie quieted. They held each other silently, neither in a hurry to break the embrace. Archie kept his face pressed against Horatio's chest and when he spoke Horatio had to strain to hear him. 

"I had hoped...it has been so long since my last attack...not since the prison...why now? I don't understand what I have done to deserve this curse Horatio." 

"You've done nothing, Archie. It is an illness. There must be a way to treat it. Maybe when we get to London..." 

"No," Archie broke in, pulling away from Horatio's embrace. "No, Horatio. You mustn't speak of it to anyone. I would lose my commission. I would be grounded. Promise me!" he said desperately. 

"Alright. I will say nothing. I swear it. Calm down," Horatio said, rubbing his friend's arm. He was afraid that Archie's agitated state might bring on another attack. 

Archie took a deep breath. "Thank you, Horatio. You have to understand, I cannot risk losing..." Archie paused before continuing, "...the sea." 

Horatio regarded him curiously for a moment, wondering what his friend had been about to say. Archie flopped back down onto his back in the hammock, staring at the ceiling. 

"Do you still think that I am fit to be a Lieutenant, Horatio?" he asked sadly. 

"Yes," Horatio answered, moving back to his own hammock. "I have seen men led to their deaths by foolish, cocky officers. I have seen corruption and misuse of power. When compared against this, your affliction is nothing." Horatio closed his eyes. He felt Archie's hand on his arm. 

"What would I do without you, Horatio?" the soft voice asked. Horatio didn't answer, he just patted his friend's hand and lay silently, his mind attempting to determine a means of aiding his companion. 

* * *

Blair slept fitfully throughout the night. When he woke the next morning, he felt almost as exhausted as the he had the night before. He considered trying to go back to sleep but gave it up. There was no way he could get back to sleep, with the deep pain radiating from his leg. He lay with his eyes closed for a moment, remembering his ordeal the night before and the kindness of the Captain. Opening his eyes finally, he jumped to find the Captain's smiling face before him. 

"Finally he awakes," James said with a warm smile. 

Blair said nothing. He was transfixed by the man's smile. He noted with surprise that it was the first time he had seen the older man smile. It transformed the man's face. Gone was the harsh facade that James hid behind. 

"Blair? Are you feeling ill?" The smile faltered, pulling Blair from his contemplation. 

"No, Captain." Blair was shocked at how shaky his voice was. He cleared his throat and tried again, becoming only slightly stronger. "My leg hurts but I am not feeling ill. Thank you for taking care of my leg." Blair looked around in surprise. "I am in your cabin?" He had been in too much pain the night before to take much note of his surroundings. He looked down. "I am in your hammock?" 

"You were not well, this seemed the most logical place," James answered as he started to unbind the young man's injured leg. 

"I will go back to the crew's quarters as soon as you finish changing my bandages." 

"You will do nothing of the sort." 

"But your men..." Blair knew that the other sailors would not take kindly to the Captain putting up a crewmember. It could cause James problems. 

"As far as my men are concerned, you are a visitor to this ship, one who was under no obligation to save my life or to aid the many others that you helped during yesterday's battle. I am simply repaying a debt that both myself and the crew owe to you." 

Blair stared at the Captain. "But I told you that I was crew on the Reliant. Unwilling yes, but crew nonetheless. As soon as I stepped aboard this vessel I became under your command, obligated to save your life at the expense of my own if necessary. Obligated to fight the battle." 

James stopped what he was doing and shifted his seat so that he could speak to the younger man face to face. "Blair, listen to me. You have cut your leg badly. You need a place to heal. The crew's quarters are damp and dirty and you would have no one to care for you. I promised you that you would walk out of here in one piece and by God you will. Now you can stay here and rest, safe and dry, and help me with my illness or you can go back to the crew's quarters and take you chances with infection. The choice is yours." 

Blair swallowed heavily. "Well, it seems the choice is obvious." 

"Yes," James agreed, clasping his hands between his legs and staring at them a moment before facing Blair once more. "I am deeply saddened by what I have seen happen within my navy. Young men and boys not more than children kidnapped off the streets of London and forced into service for the British Navy. There are those of us who believe that there is no excuse for such atrocities. There are those of us who believe that such men and children are not bound by honor or duty." The Captain paused and met Blair eyes. "No one knows that you were a member of the British Navy and therefore are technically under my command. I doubt that records of your 'drafting' even exist. Were there other survivors from your ship?" 

"Not that I am aware of," Blair said quietly, the destruction of the ship playing in his mind. His only salvation had been in his punishment for his crime of noncompliance. At the time of the attack he had been serving out the Captain's idea of solitary confinement. He was in a rowboat being towed behind the ship. He still shuddered as he remembered the punishment, he had been adrift for two days with no food or water when the attack came. He had only been able to cut the rope attaching himself to the ship barely in time to avoid being pulled under by the sinking vessel when the French had finally holed the ship. Half-alive the French had not considered him much of a threat and the next thing he knew he awoke in the prison. 

"Then we will keep your involvement with the navy between us and when we reach England, I'll see that you are free to go." 

Blair looked at James in amazement, unshed tears gleaming in his eyes. "Why are you doing this for me?" the young man asked, still half-waiting for the catch. 

James shook his head. "Honestly? I don't know. By duty, I should have put you to work the moment you told me of your past involvement with the Navy...but I could not. In truth, I cannot tell you a reason." 

The confusion in the Captain's face was obvious. James cleared his throat and continued. "We shall make a deal, you and I. I will attempt to give you back your freedom if you can help give me back my health." 

Blair sighed in exasperation. "I have told you Captain. Your condition is not a disease to be cured, it is..." 

"Yes, yes, I know, Blair, it is natural. Help me to control it then?" 

"It is a deal, but I do not require any payment for helping you. I would do that gladly." 

James moved back down to complete his work on Blair's leg. "We have an understanding then?" 

Blair smiled. "We do." 

* * *

[Continued in part two](valiant_a.html).

Link to text version of part two: http://www.squidge.org/archive/cgi-bin/convert.cgi?filename=au2/valiant_a.html 


	2. Chapter 2

This story has been split into three parts for easier loading.

## The Valiant

by Mia Athlas

Author's webpage: <http://http://www.squidge.org/~subrosa/fic/valiant/valiant.html>

Notes and disclaimer in part one. 

* * *

The Valiant - part two 

The next day, Blair was quietly reading when a knock sounded at the door. The Captain had gone with Lieutenant Welles to survey the damage to the ship and instigate the repairs necessary. He put his book aside. 

"Enter," he called out. He was delighted to see Mosby step into the room. 

"Todd, come in. I am glad you came by, I wanted to thank you. The Captain told me you helped with my leg yesterday." 

Mosby came in and sat in the chair beside the hammock. "I did little, Blair. It is the Captain who deserves your thanks, but you are welcome." The young man smiled nervously. 

"What is it Todd?" Blair asked, noticing his friend's discomfort. 

"Well...some of the men were wondering...um..." he trailed off. 

Blair sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Were wondering why I am here in the Captain's quarters." 

"No...well yes...but that's not why I came." 

"What then?" 

"Some of the men were wondering if you would be feeling well enough to continue the lessons? I know that you will not be up to staff lessons for a while but we were thinking that perhaps you may be up to teaching us from the books for a few hours while you recuperate." Todd hurried on. "That way we could concentrate on battle instruction when you are well," he finished. 

Blair grinned at him. "And it would not hurt to get the dreaded book learning out of the way I suppose?" 

"Well..." Todd said noncommittally. 

"Sounds like a fine idea." Blair smiled again. "How about we begin tomorrow evening?" 

"Excellent. I will tell the others." Todd stood. "I am happy that you are well, Blair." 

"As am I, Todd. So what would you like to study tomorrow?" 

"Well, we never did get to the Astronomy text. Perhaps we could start there?" 

"Good idea," Blair said with a grin. The grin disappeared abruptly. 

"What is wrong, Blair? Are you in pain?" Todd stepped closer to Sandburg in case he was needed. 

"No. The book. The Captain's book. I left it on deck when the fighting started. Damn." Blair moved, attempting to sit up. He had to go find the Captain's prized book. He only prayed he would find it untouched. 

"Whoa." Todd laid his hands on Blair's shoulders. "The Captain would kill you if you rip out his stitches. You stay where you are, I will fetch the book for you. I remember where you put it...before I lured you into combat," he said with a twinkle in his eye. 

"If you can call sneaking up behind someone and hitting them on the back with a big stick 'luring'." Blair smiled then paused for a second before adding,- "Thank you, Todd." 

"Be back in a jiff," the young man called over his shoulder on the way out the door. 

Blair waited nervously, cursing himself for his carelessness. How could he have left a book that obviously meant so much to James unattended? If anything happened to it the Captain would never forgive him. Gone would be the ease and friendship he had luxuriated in over the past day. 'What is taking him so long'? Blair asked himself again after a half of an hour had passed. Finally, he heard a soft knock and Mosby reentered. Blair looked from his frowning face to the tattered manuscript in his hands. 

Blair grabbed the book and examined it in dismay. The cover was bent in half and the edges of the pages within were singed. 

"I am sorry, Blair. At least you can still read it," Todd said encouragingly. "Captain Ellison has plenty of books. I am sure he will understand." 

Blair stared blankly at the badly damaged book in his hand. "He has many books, but only this one belonged to his mother. I believe it was of great sentimental value to the Captain. He entrusted it to my care." 

"Come now. What could you have done? We were under attack." 

Blair sighed. In his head he knew that Todd was right, but he still couldn't stand the thought of causing the Captain pain. "Yes, I know you are right. Tell the others that we will begin tomorrow night," Blair said, trying to hint to the other man that he wished to be alone. Todd gave him one last concerned glance before making his exit. 

Once his friend had gone, Blair let his shoulders slump a bit more. He cleaned the cover with the edge of his bed sheet and flattened it out as much as possible. The crease was still very obvious but it looked a bit better. Blair opened the cover and noticed an inscription that had escaped his attention previously. It was now difficult to read but if he strained he could make out the words. 

"Jimmy, may the stars always guide you home." Blair sniffled. The signature of the Captain's mother was completely obliterated. He settled back into the hammock feeling sick at heart. He would have to tell the Captain. 

He stayed awake as long as he could waiting for the older man's return but finally his injury and exhaustion from too many sleepless nights caught up with him. Hiding the book under his pillow he drifted off into a restless slumber. 

* * *

The next morning he was awakened by the scent of tea. Opening his eyes, he found the Captain working at his table, already dressed. Blair moved and winced but was happy to note that his leg felt a bit better. James looked up. 

"Good morning, Chief. How are you feeling?" 

'Sick at heart', Blair thought. "Much better," he said. 

James stood and moved over to stand next to him, handing him a chamber pot as he did. Blair blushed but accepted it. 

"I cleaned and re-bandaged your leg as you slept. It is healing well, there is no infection." 

Blair was surprised that the Captain had been able to change his bandages without waking him. In the last six months he had developed a habit of sleeping very lightly, on guard for danger. It must be the privacy of the cabin, lulling him into the belief that he was safe. It was not a habit that he should get into, he would soon enough be back in the crew's quarters. 

"That is very good news," Blair answered flatly. 

"Then why do you act as if I have just given you a death sentence?" James asked with raised eyebrows. "I believe it probably has something to do with this?" he said pulling his Astronomy text from behind his back. 

Blair automatically reached under his pillow where he had hidden the book. It of course wasn't there. "But...how...I mean..." Blair stammered. The Captain didn't look angry--in fact he looked amused. 

"It fell from under your pillow I would imagine." James opened the book and leafed through its pages. 

Blair pushed his pillows down to brace his back as he pulled himself to a semi-seated position. He felt at such a disadvantage with the other man towering over him. "I apologize Captain. There are no words to express how badly I feel at destroying the book you entrusted to me. I have great respect for all literature but the loss is doubly hard when it is a cherished gift." He lowered his eyes and examined the edge of his bedspread. 

James laughed and Blair looked up sharply. "Blair, listen to me. There is no need for all that angst. This book can still be read, that is what matters. Look here," James moved closer and sat down in the chair beside Blair placing the book on the young man's lap, flipping the pages. "See this?" James pointed to a jagged tear within the book. 

Blair nodded and James continued. 

"That happened when I was 10 and a friend who was angry with me ripped up 3 pages before I stopped him. And here," he turned a few more pages. "I was studying and the candle I was using caught the edge of the page, my brother helped me to put out the flame...and here," he pointed again, "my mother spilled her wine, on the night that she and my father celebrated my commission." James closed the book with a snap and set it down on the small table beside the hammock. "That book has seen difficult times, Blair, long before you made its acquaintance. Books are made to be used...not to sit pristinely in some case. Each stain, each rumple reminds me of a time in my life--a person. My childhood friend, my brother, my mother, and others. This," he gestured toward the creased cover, "will remind me of you." 

Blair sat open-mouthed. He didn't know how to respond to that and finally simply nodded his head. "Thank you, Captain." 

James raised his hand and stroked his jaw for a moment. "I have been thinking. Perhaps, in the privacy of this room, you would agree to call me James? I grow tired of always being thought of as the title and not the man." 

Blair smiled widely. "I would be honored to do so, Cap...pardon me--James." 

"Good," James said with an answering smile. He patted the young man's arm before standing and returning to his table. 

Blair stayed silent for a time then finally called out to the Captain. "James? Would it be alright if I joined you at the table as I make some plans for my lesson with your young seamen tonight?" 

James raised his eyebrow. "Ah, yes. I had heard that some of the men were going to come by so that they could honor your agreement with them. Of course." He put his head back down and continued to study his charts. 

"Ah...James?" Blair asked again. "Could you...well I think that if I attempt to get out of this contraption on my own I'll end up face down on the floorboards," he said with a blush. 

James stood quickly and moved to his side. "Of course, Blair." Soon he was settled opposite James with a pen, paper and the text spread out before him. They each worked in silence and Blair was amazed at the ease he felt with the other man. 

And so the days passed. James gave Blair a couple of hours each day to run his tests on his abilities. Each time Blair thought that he was making progress with the Captain he would zone, and they would end up taking two steps back. It was slow going but Blair was determined. 

The rest of his day was spent teaching the young crew members or working quietly at the table alongside of James. These were some of his favorite moments. He began to feel camaraderie with the Captain grow. During breaks in the work they chatted of many things. Blair learned of James's family and his beginnings in the Navy and in turn spoke to the Captain about his mother and the tribe in Peru that had raised him. At the end of the first week Blair felt close to the stoic Captain and dreaded the day that he would have to leave the older man's cabin and return to the crew's quarters. 

He was also concerned by a growing sense that something serious was bothering the Captain. Each day the man seemed to grow increasingly tense. Finally Blair realized that hinting to the Captain to share whatever was bothering him wasn't going to work. A direct approach was needed. 

* * *

Blair limped over and sat down beside the Captain who was intently studying the charts in front of him by candlelight. It was past time to retire for the night. James sat, coat removed, with his shirt partially unbuttoned. The older man seemed to be getting more and more comfortable around Blair the longer they spent together. The bit of chest that Blair could see through the open shirt was smooth and inviting. As always, even so late, James' hair was still tied neatly back. In all the time he had spent with the Captain, Blair had never seen the man with his hair down. He longed to step over and untie the ribbon, so that he could run his fingers through the other man's shoulder length hair. He imagined it would be straight, much like the man himself. Blair shook his head, attempting to clear it of such fanciful thoughts. The Captain had been kind to him and he would not repay that kindness by using him for his own lustful gain. Awkwardly he seated himself across from his friend. 

"James, can we speak for a moment?" he asked, fixing his attention on the older man. James looked up from his work and seemed mildly surprised to find Blair seated across from him. 

"What? Oh, yes, of course. Is your leg giving you difficulty?" 

"No. It feels much better thanks to you. Is something the matter? I get the feeling that there is something that you aren't telling me or the crew." 

James sighed and set down his pen, rubbing his eyes. "Am I so transparent?" 

"Only to me I suspect. It is hard to keep secrets from a person who is sharing your quarters." Blair smiled. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

James stood and moved over to his cabinet, withdrawing a bottle of whiskey. He poured a glass for both himself and Blair before sitting back down at the table. 

"It is our food stores, Chief. The battle damaged the hold where we kept the better part of our vittles for the journey. I have already cut rations by 1/3rd. Tomorrow it goes to 1/2. We are far out and there is no one to assist us." 

Blair nodded, he had expected as much. "What will you do?" 

"We will be passing a relatively secluded point off the coast in a weeks time. I will send men ashore to hunt and gather food to see us through the rest of our journey. Even in a remote location it will be extremely dangerous. The possibilities of being discovered are great." 

"What are the alternatives?" Blair thought he already knew the answer but felt James needed it voiced out loud in order to justify such a risk to his ship and men. 

"Alternatives? The only alternative I see is slow starvation." James downed the rest of his glass and leaned back in his chair. "Still, it is difficult." 

"To make decisions that could mean the life or death of any man would be difficult, but I trust you to make the right decision James. And your men trust you." 

"Yes," James said, looking down at the table. "Sometimes I fear they trust too much." 

Blair leaned forward and gripped the Captain's hand where it lay on the table. "They trust because you have proven yourself time and again to be a strong and wise Captain. Don't let your difficulty with your senses make you doubt yourself, James. It makes you stronger, not weaker." 

James looked up sharply. "I...how did..." He broke off and looked away from Blair's gaze, telling the younger man without words that he had hit upon the crux of the problem. 

Blair did not release the hand under his own. "I've been talking with the men. They are full of stories of the fearless James Ellison. You gathered quite a name for yourself before making Captain." He smiled as the Captain blushed. 

"Why would you now doubt yourself when before you were sure and fearless? The answer is obvious. No matter how many times I say it, I feel that you still will not believe that what you are blessed with is not a sickness." 

"I am trying, Blair. It just seems each time I think I can control my senses, they fail me. I'm not sure I will ever meet your expectations." James stared down at the hand covering his own. 

"It is not my expectations that you need to meet, James. It is your own. You push yourself too hard. You expect too much too fast. You act as if your body has betrayed you when things do not go right the first time you try something new. You put too much pressure on yourself, James. You need to slow down. Let it come at a natural pace." 

James stayed silent, considering the words for a time. When he spoke, his voice was deep with emotion. "I felt that you were disappointed in me." 

"Never!" Blair exclaimed with feeling. "I can never be disappointed in you, James. You have handled this better than anyone could expect." Blair swallowed nervously before continuing. "I feel closer to you than anyone I have ever met." 

James smiled and Blair's tension eased. The Captain turned his hand and gripped the younger man's palm to palm. "And I to you. Why else would I take a stranger into my cabin...even one who had saved my life?" 

They sat quietly for several minutes, simply enjoying each other's company. Finally, James spoke again. "Come, we should retire. Dawn will come early tomorrow and there is much to do." The Captain moved around the table and put his arm around Blair's waist, helping him to stand. 

Blair pressed closer to the bigger man, deciding that now was not the time to remind James that he no longer needed assistance to walk. With the Captain's help, Blair climbed into the hammock that James had strung for him then watched the older man as he strode back over to the table to blow out the last candle. Only when he was in darkness did he close his eyes to sleep. 

* * *

Four days later the Captain decided it was time to begin his preparations. His first move was to attempt to explain to his second in command that he, the Captain of the Valiant, would be going ashore on this mission. 

James held up his hand to stop further argument. "Mr. Taggart, do you think yourself not up to the challenge?" 

"That is not the point, sir," the first mate complained. 

"Yes or no?" 

"Yes, of course I am up to the challenge, Sir but..." 

James cut him off once more. "It is decided Mr. Taggart. You will be Acting Captain in my absence." 

"But Captain, you belong on board. Let me go? You could be killed." 

"As I could every day on ship or off." James sighed and pulled his second in command to the side for a bit of privacy. "Joel," he began, "there is no one else. We cannot risk gunfire. Have you found any other within the crew with the ability to trap and hunt silently?" Reluctantly the other man shook his head. 

"My Uncle was one of the best trappers in England and he has taught me to hunt with a bow and arrow since my childhood. I have hidden how bad it is from the men but you know Joel...you know how imperative this food gathering mission is...I will need your support here, man," James finished urgently. 

Joel met his eyes. "You have it. You know you have it, Captain." 

"Thank you, old friend," James said warmly. 

"Go then, if you must. I will take good care of your ship while you are away." 

"I would expect no less. Assemble a party for me, Joel. I would take the Lieutenants from the Indefatigable with me. It will do them good to have a purpose I think. Also, young Sandburg will accompany me. He had experience in the wild and could be of assistance." 

"What of his leg, Captain?" Taggart asked. Everyone on board knew of the young man's injury and that he was residing still in the Captain's cabin. 

"It is healing well," James said noncommittally. Blair's leg in fact was almost completely healed, but James kept that bit of information to himself. He found he was reluctant to part company with the enthusiastic young man. He felt more at peace just knowing that he would see Blair at the end of each day. They had fallen into a comfortable co-existence that had filled the Captain's previously solitary life with conversation, laughter and affection. There was much hard work as well as he still struggled to control his senses but even they seemed to be improving as of late--an outcome he attributed directly to Sandburg. 

The first Lieutenant's words jarred James from his reflection. "Very well, Captain. When do you leave?" 

James gathered his thoughts again. "In three days time. Ensure my landing party is ready." 

"Aye aye, Captain." Taggart moved away to begin preparation. 

James headed below deck to survey the repairs from the battle that were nearing completion. All was as it should be and after a quick word with the midshipman in charge he returned to the upper deck. He found Acting Lieutenant Kennedy waiting for him. 

"Captain, may I speak with you?" 

"Mr. Kennedy. I trust you are well?" 

"I am, Captain." Archie looked quite uncomfortable at the question and James studied him more closely. He seemed pale but otherwise uninjured. Curious. 

"What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" 

Archie shifted nervously before speaking. "I've heard that we are to accompany you on a hunting and gathering mission." "Yes, that is correct." 

"I wanted to let you know that I am handy with a bow. Before joining the Navy, archery was one of my passions." 

"Indeed? How fortunate for us," James said with a smile. "I would welcome your assistance Mr. Kennedy. I had thought that I would have to attempt to teach one of the men." 

Archie smiled back shyly. "I would consider it an honor, sir." 

"You will join me in the hunt then. I will look forward to it." James patted Archie on the back. "Is Mr. Hornblower also an archer?" 

"I do not think so, Captain, but if you were to give Horatio a bow and a few days, I don't doubt that he would be out-shooting us all." 

James couldn't decipher the odd look that came over Archie's face. He decided the best course of action was to ignore it. "Well, never mind Lieutenant. I expect you and I can handle the task quite well on our own." 

Archie beamed at him and James felt inordinately pleased that he had made the young man happy. 

"One problem Captain," Archie said wistfully. "I left my bow back in England." 

"No problem at all Mr. Kennedy. I have been in the habit of carrying a couple of bows with me on my voyages. A habit that my uncle instilled in me. He always told me that I would one day thank him. It seems he was correct. Come by my cabin later and I will acquaint you with my spare." 

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Archie bowed slightly and moved away as Lieutenant Welles approached to give the Captain the daily update. 

* * *

When James returned to his cabin that evening, he found Archie already there. He and Blair were engrossed in a serious discussion and did not even notice his entry. He took the time to study the two younger men. They were opposites in many ways, Blair with his dark curly hair and exuberant hand motions, and Archie with his light straight hair and reserved movements. Yet both were very attractive. James did not think it odd that it was one of his first thoughts on seeing the two men together. 

He would have to be blind not to notice. Still, even given Archie's obvious physical appeal, James did not feel drawn to him as he did to Blair. With Archie he felt more like a big brother, he had an urge to take care of the young man, with Blair though his feelings were anything but brotherly. And becoming more and more unbrotherly with each passing day. Finally, Blair looked up and noticed him standing just inside the door. 

"Ja...Captain!" he shouted as he jumped up and bounced over to him. 

James smiled at the younger man and looked down at Blair's leg. The bandages had been removed leaving only a long pink scar. 

Blair looked down himself and blushed. "It feels fine, Captain. Do not worry. Archie says that you and he will be hunting together, that you will be going to shore in search of food," Blair continued on not completely able to mask the hurt in his voice. "I have learned much from the tribe that raised me...I am well versed in all type of edible plant life, Captain...I could help you." 

James put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I have already asked Mr. Taggart to include you in the landing party, Blair. It was presumptuous of me, I know, but I assumed you would wish to come." 

Blair grinned suddenly. "Of course!" 

A knock sounded at the door, interrupting them. James turned and opened it. 

"Ah, Mr. Hornblower. Please come in." 

"Thank you, Captain," Horatio answered primly, stepping inside. He smiled warmly at Blair and nodded his head. "Blair, it is good to see you. 

I enjoyed your lecture on natural remedies and medicinal plant life yesterday very much. I would speak to you further on that subject later if you would allow it?" 

Blair nodded, looking pleased. "I will look forward to it." 

"I expect the two of you will have plenty of opportunity to discuss plant life on our mission," James broke in gruffly. Something about Blair spending time with the dapper Lieutenant bothered him more than he would admit. "Come, sit. I will fill you in." Horatio stepped past the Captain and seemed to notice Archie for the first time. He seemed startled to see him there, but he quickly recovered and took a seat close to his friend. James began by describing, with nothing held back, their plight and their mission. The young men at the table listened silently; the seriousness of the problem did not escape them. Starvation and sickness due to lack of proper food aboard the ship was always a very real and frightening possibility. 

"Few know of the seriousness of our situation. The attack destroyed three quarters of our supplies. The only reason I have not cut rations even more is that we have absolutely no hope of stretching what little is left enough to reach England, or even another ship. We have still two months' journey ahead of us and this may well be our only chance of gathering enough rations to see us through. Even so, we still run the risk of malnutrition and disease." 

"I can help with that, Captain," Blair spoke up. "I lived off the land in many different countries during my travels. With no modesty, I believe that I am well equipped to properly choose vegetation that while it may not be tasty will help stave off malnutrition." 

James nodded, taking Blair at his word. "Thank you, Blair. Many of the men were talking about your lecture yesterday and I had hoped that your expertise was not limited solely to medicinal plant life. Mr. Hornblower?" 

"Yes, sir?" 

"You will be in command of the men who will be gathering fruit, vegetables and any other plant life that Mr. Sandburg recommends." 

"Aye aye, Captain," Horatio agreed. 

"Mr. Kennedy and I will hunt for the meat we need in order to survive. We will set up an area to smoke our venison and pray that we remain undiscovered long enough to gather what we need." 

Horatio looked confused for a moment. James got the impression that he assumed Archie would be with him. James noted a similar unhappy expression on Blair's face and wondered as to its origins. Both men stayed silent. "Well then," James stated. "That is all. Mr. Kennedy, come with me and we can examine my bows to ensure they need no repairs. Mr. Hornblower, perhaps you and Mr. Sandburg should put your heads together and determine a strategy. Taggart will fill you in on your complement of men that will be assisting you." 

Blair and Horatio stood. Horatio turned to Blair. "Shall we go locate Mr. Taggart?" Blair nodded and with one backward glance at the Captain and Acting Lieutenant Kennedy who were already pulling dusty weapons out of storage, he followed Horatio out the door. 

* * *

A couple of hours later, plans in place, Horatio and Blair were slowly strolling back towards the Captain's cabin. The night air was cool and Horatio looked over at his companion as Blair shivered. Horatio smiled. 

"I think that soon you will have to dress a bit more warmly, Blair," he said. "It is growing colder, especially in the evening. It would do no one any service if you were to fall ill." 

Blair sighed and nodded. "Yes, I know you are right. It is only that I am not part of your Navy, Horatio. Nor do I desire to be." 

"Wearing the clothing will not infect you, Blair," Horatio said in an offended tone. Blair stopped and walked over to the railing, leaning against it and gesturing out at the expanse of water surrounding them. 

"The sea is beautiful, is it not?" 

"Yes," Horatio agreed, coming to stand beside Blair. "It is breathtaking." 

"For me, its beauty is marred. I can no longer look into the water without remembering it red with blood...without hearing the screams of men, some of them more boy than man, all dying for what? Many do not even understand what it is they are fighting for." 

"They are fighting for their country. That is all they need know. They must only do their duty," Horatio said firmly. It was clear to Blair that the Lieutenant did not understand. 

"Yes," Blair said sadly. "That is indeed why they are fighting. I was not born a part of such belief in blindly following orders, Horatio. I have no desire to offend you, and I respect you for your courage and honor in your duty but I do not share your steadfast belief in the your country. As such, I do not feel it is right for me to wear your uniform." 

Horatio nodded. "I can accept that, Blair. I have learned recently that not all share England's vision and I have seen atrocities committed on behalf of my country. But we fight God's fight. I must believe that," he finished with a strength of conviction that slightly disturbed Blair. "But you do not have to freeze slowly to death to honor your own beliefs." He smiled slightly. "I have civilian clothing in my storage locker that I would be happy to loan you. That way you will not catch your death and you still will not compromise your principles." 

Blair grinned widely. "Thank you, Horatio. I accept your offer." He clapped the other man on the back as they continued walking, changing course for the crew's quarters. "To be honest, I haven't felt warm since boarding this ship." 

Soon, Blair was standing next to Horatio's hammock dressed in a flowing white shirt and simple black trousers which laced up the sides. Horatio looked at him in approval. 

"They actually fit you quite well...except for the trouser being a bit too long." 

Blair grinned. "Thank you again. This is very kind of you." 

Horatio paused. "Actually, Blair, there is something I would have in exchange." 

Blair tensed. "Yes?" 

"Do you know of any medicinal plant that could help control...convulsions?" the lieutenant asked hesitantly. 

"Convulsions? What type of convulsions? Are you ill, Horatio?" Blair sat down beside the young man in alarm. 

"No...no...I am fine. I have a friend...back home...who suffers from the affliction. They live in a very rural area and do not have access to a doctor. I would like to help him if I can." Horatio would not meet Blair's eyes and the young man realised he was not being told the complete truth. Blair wondered again if it was indeed Horatio who was suffering attacks. No matter. Whoever he was referring to, Blair would do what he could to help. 

"Explain the attacks to me?" he asked. 

Horatio leaned his elbows on his knees, and seemed to consider the question seriously before answering. "It comes on suddenly. There seems to be no warning signs at all. His whole body shakes...shakes so hard sometimes I fear he will come apart in my hands." Horatio looked down, his voice growing soft. "It lasts anywhere from a few seconds to a couple of minutes. After the fit stops he is exhausted and weak." 

Blair considered the information. "Have you noticed any constants before the attacks start?" 

"Only that it is always in times of great stress...sometimes it begins in sleep...I don't know!" Horatio said in frustration. "I wish I had paid more attention when my father tried to teach me medicine. But no, I was too headstrong to listen. I thought I knew it all." He sighed sadly. 

"Your father is a doctor?" 

"Yes. Well respected I'm told. He once saved the life of royalty, or so say the rumors. My father was never one to talk of such things. He felt that boasting of one's accomplishments lessened the man." 

"I never knew my father," Blair said quietly. "I always hoped he was a good man, perhaps a man who helped others as your father does." 

"Believe me, Blair, it is not so wonderful growing up with a man who always placed the common good above his own, above his family. It is no credit to me but I resented the time he spent with his patients leaving me always second in his thoughts, always second to his duty." Horatio fell silent, staring at his hands. 

"And yet you chose a duty-bound life for yourself," Blair said gently. 

"Yes..." Horatio muttered, lost in his own reflections. 

Blair sat quietly for a moment then stood. "Let me think on it, Horatio. This man who suffers, he means a great deal to you doesn't he?" 

"Yes. More than he knows." 

Blair grinned suddenly. "You are talking about Mr. Kennedy are you not?" 

Horatio looked up in alarm. "H--how?" 

"It is obvious. There is no other here with whom you are always keeping company." 

"Please...you mustn't say anything. He can not know I spoke of it...promise me? He can not know!" Horatio said urgently. 

"Know what, Horatio?" They both turned and Horatio's face fell as he saw Archie standing in the doorway. 

Blair turned back to Horatio for a moment. "I am sorry, Horatio, but I must tell him." 

"Blair, please?" Horatio whispered. 

Blair turned back to Archie. "He is nervous of our mission. It seems that Horatio is uncomfortable in the wild," Blair said as he walked to the door. He turned back and winked at the blushing Lieutenant. "Poor lad...we shall have to look out for him Mr. Kennedy." With that he left the room. He paused just outside of the door and couldn't resist looking back. 

Archie immediately walked over and sat by Horatio, placing a proprietary hand on his leg. "You should have told me, Horatio. It is not a weakness to admit fear to your best friend." 

"Well...um...I am not 'afraid' exactly...it is just...um..." 

"Do not worry. I will keep your secret and I will look out for you. I am quite at home in the woods." Archie smiled gently at Horatio. 

He seemed glad to find out his friend had a weakness, Blair mused. He smiled as Archie threw an arm over Horatio's shoulders. It seemed that the Lieutenant's feelings for his friend were not one-sided. Perhaps his jealousy of Archie was misplaced. Feeling light at heart, Blair headed back towards the Captain's cabin. 

* * *

Blair was almost to the cabin when he was stopped by a hand on his arm. He spun away and found himself facing Lieutenant Welles and two other crew members. 

The sneer on the Lieutenant's face put Blair immediately on guard. 

"Mr. Welles, what can I do for you?" he asked, bracing himself as the two other men flanked him. He didn't like the look on Welles' face. The man looked almost triumphant. 

"I told you that you would regret embarrassing me. I've been waiting for an opportunity to get you alone for weeks now. Looks like tonight is my lucky night." Welles nodded and the men on either side of Blair grabbed his arms. 

Blair stayed still, deciding to bide his time and wait for an opening, even though he knew he had little hope unarmed and against three men. 

Welles stepped close to him, his breath foul and hot against Blair's face. 

"Your leg seems better and yet the Captain still keeps you in his cabin...I wonder why that is?" 

The Lieutenant's grin left Blair with no illusion as to what the man had decided the reason to be. 

"Blair!" a voice called out catching their attention. Blair peered over Welles' shoulder and saw Archie round the corner, Blair's loincloth held in his hand. "You forgot..." He came to a stop a few feet away and trailed off as he saw the situation. 

"Hold him," Welles barked at the other men and Blair felt the hands tighten painfully on his arms. Welles turned to face Kennedy. "This is not your concern Mr. Kennedy. Turn around and leave now and we will not harm you." 

Archie's face grew pale. "What are you doing? Blair?" 

He looked so young and scared that Blair couldn't stay silent. "It's alright, Archie. Please go. I will be fine." 

Welles took a menacing step toward the young man. "Do as he says, unless you would like to share his fate." His voice grew low and ugly. "I've heard about you, you know. I've heard what you used to do for Simpson on your old ship. Maybe you _would_ like to join us?" 

Archie paled even more. "S-shut up. Y-you know nothing of it. Release him!" Kennedy pulled his sword. Even from where Blair was standing he could see it shaking in his hand. 

Welles laughed. "I think perhaps you do need to learn a lesson, Kennedy. You are very pretty you know," he said taking another step forward. "Last chance. Leave and stay silent...or stay and become the fun." 

Archie held his ground. "I will not leave him to your kind. I will not let you do this." His voice grew firmer. 

"Well then, you will suffer his fate with him then." 

Welles froze as a gun barrel pressed against the side of his head. Blair almost cheered when Horatio stepped out from behind a crate, his face dark with anger. 

"And me? Will you also hurt me?" Horatio pressed the gun more firmly against the man's head. "Back...slowly." 

Welles backed away, allowing Horatio to step between him and Kennedy. 

"Are you all right, Archie?" Horatio asked, his eyes never leaving his prisoner. Uncommon rage showed clearly in his tight stance and face. Blair feared that all would not end well. 

"I-I am unharmed, Horatio," Archie answered in a shaky voice. He lowered his sword with relief and placed it back in its scabbard. 

"Blair?" Horatio asked. 

"Fine...just a bit...restrained at the moment," he replied. 

"Tell your men to release him," Horatio cocked the trigger of his gun. 

"Do as he says," Welles spat out. The men immediately released him. Blair rubbed his sore arms and turned to find the crew members had fled into the darkness, leaving Welles to fend for himself. 

"Well now. It seems the tables have turned Welles. We seem to have arrived at three against one again. How does it feel to be on the other side of the equation?" Horatio said in a hard voice, "I should kill you." 

"Horatio," Archie said quietly, stepping up beside his friend. He laid his hand on Horatio's arm. "Do not do this. He is not worth it." 

Horatio's eyes flickered over to Archie then back to Welles, who simply glared back at him. Finally, he spoke to Blair. "What would you have me do?" 

Blair stepped forward and considered his response carefully. If he held this man and brought him to the Captain it would probably cause controversy among the crew. Many would side with Welles. Blair had certainly seen the hard looks and heard the whispered words of the crew when he passed. No. It would cause James more problems when his station was already difficult. They had more important matters to deal with than one dishonorable Lieutenant. 

"Let him free," Blair finally responded. 

"Free?" Horatio said in disbelief. "Are you mad? He would only wait till another time when perhaps we will not be lucky enough to be close by." 

"I will take that risk, Horatio. I will make sure that I am properly armed from now on." Blair addressed the last comment to Welles. Welles pinched his lips together but stayed silent. 

"Are you sure?" Horatio asked one final time. At Blair's nod, he eased the hammer back down on his gun and took a step back from Welles. He kept the gun pointed at the other man. "Go on then, get out of here. I swear to you that if any harm comes to Mr. Sandburg or Mr. Kennedy I will have no hesitation in telling the Captain who is to blame." Welles spun on his heel and without a word strode away. 

They stood awkwardly for a moment, none of them knowing what to say. Finally, Blair broke the silence. 

"Thank you both. I do not want to think about what might have happened tonight if you two had not come along." 

"It is only thanks to a piece of clothing left behind that we did, Blair," Archie said scooping up Blair's loincloth where he had dropped it when he had drawn his sword. "It could have ended far worse." 

The sorrow and pain in Archie's eyes as he passed over the cloth made Blair want to take the young man in his arms. It was clear to him that Archie had not been so lucky in the past. He accepted the cloth and gripped it hard in his hands, wondering at what horrors were left unsaid. 

Horatio stepped over to them and raised his hand to the middle of Archie's back. "Come, we will see you to the door, Blair. Take care where you go for the rest of this journey." 

Blair nodded and allowed himself to be escorted the rest of the way to the Captain's cabin. He thanked the two men once more before slipping quietly inside--hoping that James was already sleeping. 

* * *

James looked up as Blair entered the cabin. He had been so engrossed in thought he had not heard the young man's approach. The young man's face seemed to fall as he saw him sitting at the table. 

"Blair, is something the matter?" James asked, getting to his feet. Something did not feel right. He heard a swift drumming in his head and brought his hand up to his temple. The drumming grew faster as he approached Blair. 

Curiously, he moved close to the young man. Blair was dressed in trousers and a shirt, James noted with a twinge of jealousy. Obviously someone had been able to convince him when he had not. Blair looked up at him in question. The Captain's eyes fell to his exposed neck and zeroed in on the small pulse at his throat. The beat seemed to match the drumming in his head. 

James raised his hand and placed it on Blair's chest, just above his heart. The opened shirt allowed him to touch his warm skin directly. Yes, it was the same. He felt the vibration against his hand echo the beat in his head. 

"I can hear your heart beating, Blair," James said with wonder in his voice. 

Blair covered his hand with his own and smiled at him. "Really? That is amazing. We are just beginning to explore what you are capable of, James." 

"It is very fast. Is something wrong, Chief?" James frowned as Blair broke their gaze and looked away without answering the question. He felt the young man take a deep breath and the beat slowed. 

"It is nothing. A little run in with some of the men." 

"What men? What kind of run in?" His eyes traveled over the young man but he saw no sign of abuse. 

"I am a grown man, James. I can handle a mild disagreement with one of the men," Blair said firmly. 

"You would tell me if it were more serious than that?" 

"Of course. Do not concern yourself. Has the beat of my heart slowed?" Blair asked, tapping the back of James's hand. 

The Captain blushed as he realised that his hand still rested on Blair's chest. He concentrated. "Yes. It has slowed." He pressed his hand down more firmly feeling Blair's chest hair curl around his fingers. He noticed in amazement that Blair's nipple had begun to harden under his palm. 

"Your heart rate is increasing again, Blair," he said huskily. 

Blair's mouth fell open a bit and James caught a glimpse of a pink tongue as the younger man moistened his lower lip. James almost groaned aloud as he felt his cock twitch in arousal. Blair's hand slid underneath the unbuttoned sleeve of his shirt and caressed his arm. James shuddered in pleasure at the simple touch. 

Then he realised what was happening. 

He pulled away abruptly and turned his back on Blair, trying to get his breathing under control. What was he thinking? He could not give in to such desires. "It is time for sleep. We have an early day tomorrow," he said without looking at Blair. 

"James..." Blair said pleadingly. The Captain turned back and caught his breath at the sadness in the young man's face. 

"No...please Blair. Let's just sleep now." 

Blair nodded and moved to the basin to prepare for bed. Silently the two men readied themselves and climbed into their hammocks. James extinguished the last candle and the room was dark. Under the cover of darkness he studied the young man's face. Blair was turned toward him with his eyes shut. Just as James thought the young man had fallen asleep his eyes opened. James could almost believe that Blair could see as he could in the dark, but knew it was not possible. Still, Blair seemed to look him directly in the eyes as he spoke. 

"James, it is not wrong to feel what you feel. I am here when you are ready." 

James didn't respond. He closed his eyes and lay awake long after Blair fell into a restless sleep. 

* * *

Archie looked up from the bow he was tightening, knowing what he would find. As expected, Horatio was there watching him--while trying to appear that he was not. Archie sighed and went back to his task. In the two days since their altercation with Welles, Horatio had been his constant shadow. It seemed that no matter where he went, Horatio had some reason why he needed to be close by. 

It was not as if he did not want his friend around. It was just the implication that he could not take care of himself that bothered him. He was a grown man, yet Horatio acted as though he needed a caretaker. 

'Perhaps I do,' Archie considered darkly. Look at what had happened with Simpson and what had almost happened with Welles. He had been so happy when he learned of Horatio's fear of the woods. Finally there was something _he_ could help his friend with. It had felt so good, then, he had happened upon Welles and Blair and once again it was 'Horatio to the rescue'. How could he expect his friend to ever care for him as he did for Horatio if he only saw him as this pathetic excuse for a man? 

"Archie." 

Archie jerked his head up. "What?" he exclaimed abruptly. 

Startled Horatio stammered, "I-I just wanted to see if you wanted to go to the galley for something to eat now?" 

Archie stood up, feeling his anger at himself boil over. "I am perfectly capable of feeding myself, Horatio...or would you like to do that for me as well?" 

His friend gaped back at him in shock at the outburst. "I had only thought that you might like to share a meal with me, Archie. If I've offended you in some way, I am sorry." 

Archie's anger disappeared at the hurt he could hear in his friend's voice. He lowered his chin to his chest for a moment. "No," he said before raising his head to meet Horatio's eyes. "I am sorry. I am so sorry for being such a burden to you." 

"Burden?" Horatio blurted out. "You are my friend, you could never be a burden to me. Is this about Welles?" 

"No...not Welles...it's...it's just everything, Horatio. Why have you been following me around?" 

"Following you?" Horatio frowned. "I hadn't realized. If it bothers you I will stop." "You have not been watching over me because of the incident with Welles?" 

"Of course not," Horatio said. "You are a grown man. You can look after yourself." 

Archie studied his friend's face then sighed. "You are a terrible liar, Horatio...but thank you for trying." Archie could not help the twitch of his lips at Horatio's indignant look. 

"Well...I never...well alright. Perhaps I've been staying a bit closer than normal, but it's not for the reason you think, Archie. It is as much for my own protection as yours. We are alone here. These men have a history together--a history with Welles...he could sway them. We have only each other. I only meant to make us less of a target," he said sincerely. "I never meant to give you the impression that I didn't feel you could take care of yourself." 

Archie felt the deep attraction of Horatio's words. The romantic notion of he and Horatio against the world was a powerful one. "Truly?" 

"I swear it," Horatio answered seriously. Archie smiled then. 

"Perhaps I am being a bit too sensitive. I apologize. Of course you are right. I would be happy to have dinner with you anytime." 

Horatio looked relieved and Archie stood, picking up the bow. Horatio's eyes settled on the weapon. "Are you good with that?" 

"Yes," Archie said simply causing Horatio to smile. "Would you like to learn?" 

Horatio nodded enthusiastically. "I would like it very much." 

"Come then, dinner can wait a few minutes. I have a target set up in the Captain's chambers." 

"Will we not disturb Captain Ellison?" 

"No. He and Blair will be eating." Archie grabbed Horatio's arm when the young man still paused and dragged him along. 

"The Captain has given me permission to use the room to practice if that is what is bothering you." 

Horatio gave in and followed behind him. Archie wasn't quite sure why he insisted on teaching his friend now but the thought nevertheless made his heart beat faster. 

They arrived at the Captain's chambers and found the room deserted as expected. Archie pulled Horatio inside and gestured toward the makeshift target on the wall. 

"Wait," he ordered. After making sure his friend stayed out of the line of fire, he picked up an arrow and pulled back the bow. Just as the feather of the arrow touched his ear, he released the taunt line sending the arrow speeding toward the target. He heard Horatio release his breath and turned to him, leaning lightly on the bow. 

"Spectacular!" Horatio said with glee. "Dead center!" 

"But of course, my good man," Archie said with a bow. "You expected less?" 

"No, of course not but...you did not even seem to aim...fantastic...you can teach me that?" 

"Come, let me show you how to hold the bow." Archie beckoned his friend over. 

Horatio stepped and awkwardly took the bow. "Sorry," he said with a blush as he hit Archie in the back of the head with it. "I've never done this before." 

"Ouch," Archie said, rubbing the back of his head. "Here...not like that. Hold it easy. Touch it with a firm but relaxed grip." 

Archie stepped behind his friend and reached around him with both arms. He put his hands over top of Horatio's and moved them into the proper position. 

"Like that," he breathed, close to Horatio's ear, trying to concentrate on the lesson at hand and not on his friend who was so close to being held in his arms. 

"Grab an arrow, Horatio," he said wondering if he was imagining the heavy breathing coming from the other man. Archie tightened his grip on Horatio's hands and pressed himself more firmly against the young man's back. 

"Now what?" Horatio asked in a shaky voice. The longing he heard in his friend's voice was Archie's undoing. He pried the bow from Horatio's fingers and let it and the arrow fall to the floor. 

Horatio stood still as Archie wrapped his arms around him, folding him into a true embrace. Archie pressed his forehead against the young man's back and drank in the delicious feeling of his best friend's body. 

"I am tired of pretending, Horatio," he whispered. Shivers wracked the body in front of him. 

"Archie...what...what are you doing?" Horatio asked in a quiet voice. He sounded frightened but did not move away. 

"What I've dreamed of doing ever since I first saw you climb aboard your first ship. Do you remember that day, Horatio? You were seventeen and so frightened of what you would find. I wanted to wrap you up in my arms just like this and protect you from the world. Now, here we are three years later and I find I haven't the strength to keep pretending I don't want you...that I don't need you." 

"My God, Archie. Do not say such things," Horatio said brokenly, finally pulling out of Archie's grasp. Archie let him go and stepped back as his friend whirled around and faced him. 

"How can you say such things? How after what _I know_ happened to you with Simpson can you want that?" 

Archie paled and felt his world shatter. "Y-you d-don't know...you don't know!!" He turned away clutching his stomach. How could Horatio know of his shame? He had begged and bribed anyone he could think of to keep it from his friend. Horatio was the one person that did not know...that did not see him as tainted. Archie felt despair touch him. 

Horatio knew. 

No wonder he did not welcome his advances. No wonder. Archie sank to his knees, wishing that he could disappear. He closed his eyes tightly not wanting to see the pity in Horatio's eyes. 

Then the first seizure hit and thankfully the world faded away. 

* * *

Archie felt arms enfold him and struggled to break free of the grasp. 

"Archie...Archie," Horatio's voice finally came to him. Archie wondered how long the young man had been trying to reach him. "Please Archie...I'm sorry." 

Archie found that he couldn't ignore the heartbreaking anguish in Horatio's voice. He opened his eyes finally and found his friend cradling him in his arms. He was lying on the floor, with his head and shoulders in Horatio's lap. Confusion swept over him. "Horatio?" he asked, shocked by rasp of his own voice. 

Horatio looked down at him with tears in his eyes. "Thank God," he murmured before leaning over to rest his cheek against Archie's head. Archie could feel Horatio's body shaking and he realised with dismay that his friend was crying. 

"It's alright, Horatio. What's the matter? What has happened? Why am I on the floor?" 

Horatio raised his tear-streaked face and looked down at Archie in disbelief. "You had an attack, Archie. I've never seen you have one so fierce before. I thought...I thought..." Horatio broke off again, struggling with his emotions. 

Suddenly it all came back. Archie gasped and tried to pull away from his friend. "I am all right now, Horatio. You can let me go," he said, when his friend would not release him. 

Horatio's arms tightened around him. "No," he murmured with his cheek once again resting on the top of Archie's head. "This is my fault. I'm sorry, Archie. I'm sorry I didn't understand. I think I love you but I don't know what to do. I was content to continue on as friends. After Simpson, I never considered that you would ever be interested in that kind of a relationship with a man." 

Archie pulled away hard, breaking free of Horatio's grasp and lurched to his knees to face the young man. "What did you say?" he whispered, gripping his friend's hands. 

Horatio looked up at him under his lashes, shyly. "I think I love you. I've never been in love before so I can't be certain...but I feel so strongly for you it must be love." 

Archie reached out and cupped the other man's wet cheek in his hand. "Horatio...if you knew how long I've waited..." Shakily, he leaned forward, intending on taking Horatio into his arms again only to be stopped by his friend's hands on his chest. 

"I won't hurt you, Archie. I know what men do together and I won't hurt you like that," Horatio said with conviction. 

Archie considered the words, his heart bursting with joy. "Have you ever been with a man before, Horatio?" 

The younger man blushed deeply but answered. "No...nor a woman, truth be told." 

"It can be beautiful, Horatio. Pain has no place between two men who love each other. Do not judge by the brutality of one man. Can you love me knowing that Simpson...did what he did?" 

Horatio took Archie's hands in his own. "I love you more I think because you were able to find the strength to carry on, to find joy in life. I'm not sure that I would have been as strong." 

Archie felt tears prick at the back of his eyelids. "Thank you for that, Horatio. If you had not arrived when you did..." He left the sentence unfinished. His friendship with Horatio had been his salvation in that dark time. 

"I will ever be grateful that I chose the Navy then, Archie. I can not imagine my life without you in it, nor do I want to." 

Both men moved together wrapping their arms around each other gently. They simply held each other, rocking slightly till the sound of the door opening roused them. 

Before they could turn and stand, Blair was kneeling beside them. "What has happened?" 

Archie turned to look into Blair's worried face and smiled. He and Horatio must make quite the sight kneeling in the middle of the room, hugging each other, their faces red from tears and exhaustion. They stood as one and turned to Blair, thankful that the Captain was not with him. 

"We are well, Blair. Please, do not tell the Captain of this indiscretion," Horatio asked, straightening his jacket and attempting to smooth out his wrinkled trousers. Archie simply grinned at the confused young man. 

"I was showing Lieutenant Hornblower how to use a bow," Archie explained. "We are done now." With that he grabbed Horatio by the arm, mainly for his own support, and drew him out of the room leaving Blair staring after 

#  them in confusion. 

James accepted the telescope from Lieutenant Welles and surveyed the land from their boat. The ship was anchored a half a mile off the coast, with orders to await their return. The land seemed uninhabited--just as he had hoped. It was indeed a perfect spot for their gathering mission. James handed back the tool and nodded to his Lieutenant. "All is well, prepare to land, Mr. Welles." 

He sat back down in the boat and surveyed his crew on this trip. Mr. Hornblower and Mr. Kennedy sat at the opposite end, along with Blair. The Captain's unease had been steadily increasing as he noticed them throwing unsettling glances toward Welles during the short boat ride. Blair's reaction alone when he saw that Welles was to accompany them was startling. The young man's heart rate had increased and James was sure he saw fear in the deep blue eyes before Blair clamped tightly down on his reactions. He had the unwelcome sensation that something was being hidden from him and it disturbed him greatly. The rest of his crew were more easily read. Mosby looked excited and eager to be on a land mission and the rest looked serious and determined. It was a small group. In total he had brought 10 men to work and 5 more to serve as guards on the journey. He hoped they would be able to complete their task within a week and be gone before the French were any wiser. 

Welles called out the commands necessary and soon the boat was being pulled up onto the shore and hidden in the brush. 

"There," the Captain called out as he pointed to the rocks that separated the beach from the forest. He and the men shouldered their packs and climbed up the incline where James had indicated. 

James grimaced as two of the guards fell in beside him but did not send them away. He was breaking procedure just by being on land and he was not about to cause himself even more difficulty by refusing adequate protection at this stage. He would have to find a way to lose his protection though when it came time to begin the hunt. 

"The vegetation here is..." James sighed as the soft voice reached him and looked ahead where Blair, Horatio and Archie walked. Blair's hands were moving as he whispered an explanation about the native plant life to the other men. He wished that he could walk beside Blair, listening to his animated voice and not surrounded by silent serious faces and guns. Unfortunately, for now it was not meant to be. 

They hiked into the forest about a half a mile before James held up his hand and ordered the men to set up camp in a small clearing. Welles wandered away to see to the set up and as soon as he had departed, Blair approached the Captain. 

"This is a good place, Captain. The wildlife seems abundant. We spotted a deer on the hike in, even with all the noise we were making." 

James shrugged out of his pack and looked around to the surrounding trees. "Yes. No sign of any of the French either. This part of the land seems uninhabited as I'd hoped." James looked down at Blair but the young man's gaze was fixed on Lieutenant Welles. He looked over at the Lieutenant who appeared to be in a heated discussion with Hornblower. With a final disgusted look, Horatio stalked off, leaving Welles standing alone, fists clenched. 

"Blair, what is going on with Lieutenant Welles?" James asked when the young man's attention turned back to him. 

"It is nothing," Blair answered a bit too quickly. James let out an exasperated sigh. 

"It is obviously not 'nothing'. You and the Indy's Lieutenants have been shooting worried or angry looks at Welles all morning. I'll ask you again, what is going on?" 

Blair fidgeted nervously. "It was just a fi..." 

"Captain!" a voice interrupted them. Both men turned and looked where the midshipman was pointing. 

"Wow," Blair breathed as a small deer wandered into their campsite. It jumped at the midshipman's cry but did not run away. 

James carefully slid his bow off his shoulder and reached into his quiver for an arrow. Blair turned back the smile dying on his face when he saw what the Captain was doing. Ignoring the disturbing look on the young man's face, James raised the bow and took careful aim. 

Before he could shoot, another arrow came from the opposite direction and found its mark. The deer fell to the ground, with a single bleat of pain before going silent. As one, the men turned in the direction from which the arrow had been fired. Archie stood pale and silent, bow clutched in his hand. 

James caught the young Lieutenant's eye and bowed slightly. It looked as if his hunting partner was going to be a valuable ally. Archie nodded back to him then with a final glance at the fallen deer turned away and strode into the cover of the trees. James watched as Archie disappeared into the forest, turning away only after he saw Horatio follow him. 

The Captain glanced over at the deer that the men had surrounded. They were mirthfully clapping each other on the back and rejoicing in the good omen. James shook his head and replaced his unused arrow into the quiver. 

"It does not seem right to cheer the death of an innocent creature," Blair stated sadly. 

James put a hand on his shoulder. "I know it seems harsh Blair, but you have to understand these men. Most have seen the sickness and death that malnutrition and starvation brings. To them this is a victory, an omen for our mission." 

"My mind tells me that you are right, James, but my heart is saddened by the callous theft of life." 

James patted the young man's shoulder again and turned his head at a movement off to their right. He watched quizzically as Lieutenant Welles moved stiffly away from them. 

* * *

"Archie!" Horatio called out. He knew his friend had to be close by. 

He pushed a tree branch aside only to have the ends tangle into his hair. "Damn woods," Horatio cursed, freeing himself from the grasp of the tree. "Archie, where are you?" Silence greeted his call. "Archie, please! You know how I am in the woods," Horatio called out with a slight cringe at his shameless play for his friend's sympathy. 

"I am here, Horatio," a quiet voice called out just to his left. He walked around a large tree and found his friend sitting on the other side, bow and quiver tossed to the ground a few feet away. 

Steeling himself to ignore the dirt and leaves, Horatio sat down beside his friend. Archie kept his head down, studying his hands intently. Horatio bumped him with his shoulder. 

"So, what's wrong, Archie?" 

"I have never gone hunting before, you know," Archie said sadly. 

"Really? You are quite good at it then. That was quite the shot," Horatio said simply, then waited for Archie to continue. 

"Yes," Archie agreed distractedly. Finally, he turned to look at Horatio. "Do you know why I killed the deer, Horatio?" 

"I assume because we need the meat...and because the Captain ordered it." 

"No. Well yes of course, but that is not why I killed that particular deer at that particular moment. The Captain was already fitting his arrow when I took the shot." 

"Why then?" Horatio asked with sincere curiosity. 

"To prove that I could. To show the men that I was not as useless as the rumors would have them believe." 

Horatio nodded, not quite sure what it was that disturbed his friend. 

"Do you not see?" Archie said in exasperation when Horatio didn't respond. "I killed for no other reason than appearances, where is the honor in that?" Archie turned away, and hit the ground with his hand. 

"Archie," Horatio said softly. "You are too hard on yourself. I do not believe that had we not needed the meat, you would have killed that poor beast." 

"I just don't know, Horatio," Archie whispered. 

Horatio grabbed his friend's hand and pulled it up to cuddle against his chest. "Well, I do know. Any man who could be so bothered by the mere thought of dishonorable actions could never take an animal's life for nothing more than appearances." 

Archie turned his head to look at Horatio, resting it on the tree behind them. He squeezed Horatio's hand and did not pull away. "You truly believe that?" 

"I do," Horatio replied with conviction. 

"Then I find I must believe it as well. Thank you Horatio." 

Archie met his friend's eyes and Horatio felt burned by the intensity of the gaze. He leaned toward the other man, drawn in by the soft look of love on Archie's face. 

"Well, isn't this cozy," a voice sneered. Horatio pulled back abruptly and released Archie's hand. 

Seeing that their unannounced visitor was Welles he deliberately reached over and captured his friend's hand once again, glaring up the other man. 

"What do you want, Welles?" 

"I came to see if either of you intended on doing any work today or are you too busy with your _other pursuits_ to attend to your duties?" Archie climbed to his feet, and was facing the other Lieutenant before Horatio could stop him. 

"I believe, Mr. Welles, that I have done more for the success of this mission today than any man with us...or am I now required to act as butcher as well?" Archie paused then spat out, "A job I expect you would be more qualified for." 

Horatio felt his throat constrict at his friend's words. They were too close to grave insult, if Archie wasn't careful he could find himself in a duel. 

Lieutenant Welles' face reddened. "The Captain wishes your presence immediately." With that he turned and stalked angrily away. 

Horatio let out a breath of relief, then turned and grabbed Archie's arm, spinning him around so that they faced each other. "What are you trying to do, force him into a duel...get yourself killed?" he all but shouted. "Your words were insulting enough that he could have challenged you." 

"What? Him? His kind never enter into a fair fight. They prefer the shadows and the aid of a mob to do their bidding." 

"Exactly!" Horatio said in frustration. "And you felt the need to antagonize him further by taunting him, while we are in the middle of nowhere?" 

Archie fixed with a wry look. "And did you not do the same by taking my hand in front of him?" 

Horatio blushed and sputtered. "B-but..." 

"But nothing, my friend. You cannot expect me to just take his abuse. I will never do that again, Horatio. It is not of importance anyway. He could not possibly hate us more. I have neither improved nor worsened our circumstances." 

Horatio released his friend's arm. "Please, just promise me that you will attempt to steer clear of him?" 

Archie nodded quickly. "Of course, but I will be out hunting with the Captain most days. It is you who needs to take extra care. You and Blair." 

Horatio threw an arm around Archie's shoulders. "I can take care of myself, Archie. Blair and I will stay close together, don't worry. Right now I expect we had better go to see the Captain. I've heard rumors about his temper and I don't wish to test him." 

Archie nodded but grabbed his friend's arm before Horatio could move away. Horatio turned back with a concerned look on his face. Smiling warmly, Archie drew him into a tight hug. Horatio came willingly, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "Thank you, my friend," Archie whispered into his ear before letting go and moving off down the trail. Horatio smiled and tried to pull his mind away from how good Archie felt in his arms as they headed back to the camp. 

* * *

James turned away from the woods, reeling his hearing in with difficulty. He'd heard enough. How had Hornblower and Kennedy made an enemy so quickly and what was Blair's involvement in the whole thing? It was also obvious that the two Lieutenants were closer than he had imagined. James wished that he could simply go to them and ask them how they came together...what it felt like...how they knew that they were different from other men. 

James shook his head, knowing he could never do such a thing. There was no one to help him. He was beginning to accept that he was becoming increasingly drawn to Blair. Every day it became harder to resist his attraction to the young man. He found that he was continually touching Blair--nothing explicit, simply light touches but it bothered him that he couldn't seem to help himself. 

James knelt near the fire and wasn't surprised when he felt a presence kneel beside him. 

"Blair," he said, not having to turn his head to know it was Sandburg. No other man would have knelt so close to him. James smiled and turned to face his friend. "I was about to call for you. As soon as Hornblower and Archie get here, the four of us are going to take a short scouting trip. At which time one of you will explain to me what you have gotten yourself into with Welles." James watched the smile fade from Blair's face. 

"Captain, I've told you," Blair broke off as James stood and brushed the dirt from his pants, turning to face the approaching men. He heard a whispered, "damn," but ignored the younger man. 

"Mr. Hornblower, Mr. Kennedy. We will take a scouting trip for fresh water." James turned to his guards who had been standing a respectful couple of feet away. "You will remain here." 

"But, Captain," one of the men protested. 

"I am perfectly capable of caring for myself," he snapped back. The guards would just have to get used to the idea that they could not attend him every minute. They certainly couldn't go with him on their hunting expedition in the morning. 

The man stiffly nodded. "Aye aye, Captain." James turned away and strode into the trees, hearing the other three men trail behind him. 

He walked for a few minutes, wanting to ensure they were not overheard. Finally, he stopped and leaned against a tree. Crossing his arms he looked back at the three men expectantly. They stood there nervously, looking for all intents like misbehaving schoolboys. James suddenly felt his age. He faced the young men, fixing an impenetrable look on his face. "Well?" 

"Pardon me, Captain? Is there a problem?" Horatio asked with eyes wide. 

"One of you will tell me what has occurred between the three of you and Lieutenant Welles before we return to camp. And believe me, I will know if you are lying." 

Archie licked his lips nervously, Horatio looked uncomfortable and Blair just seemed annoyed. 

"You can not let us attend to our problem?" Blair asked angrily. Horatio looked at him in shock. Not surprising, since no one spoke to a Captain that way. 

"Not when it effects my ship, Blair. You will tell me or I will get the story from Welles." 

"I am not one of your men to order about," Blair grated out. 

James felt his face flush with anger. "As long as you are on my ship you will abide by my wishes." 

"I expect you are used to getting your way, _Captain_. Well, not with me. I will..." Blair was interrupted by Archie's soft voice. 

"Welles and a couple of other men grabbed Blair on his way back to your cabin and would have injured him if Horatio and I had not come along." 

Blair turned away in anger. James weighed the words. He expected that there was more to it than that, but did not press for more details. There was no sense in alienating Blair more than he already had. "Blair, is this true?" he asked. 

Turning back, Blair replied. "Yes. It is nothing for you to concern yourself with. I can handle it." 

After considering the words, the Captain nodded. "I will leave it to you, but," he cautioned, "if the situation grows worse you will inform me. Do we have a bargain?" As much as James wanted to handle Lieutenant Welles himself it would be an insult to Blair and that he could not do--unless circumstances worsened. He would covertly keep track of the Lieutenant and monitor the situation. 

"Thank you," Blair said, a bit of his former warmth creeping into his voice. 

James turned to the other men. "Kindly search the area for a fresh water stream if you will, I cannot have myself made into a liar." 

"Yes, sir," Horatio and Archie chorused before hurrying away. James watched them go with a rueful smile. 

"I believe they were happy to leave," he said. 

"Not surprising considering how pig-headed you were being, James. Really! Could you not have asked me privately?" Blair said, annoyance clear in his tone. 

"Yes, I could have but...you have a way with words and storytelling. I was just ensuring that I got the unabridged version of the story." James smiled. "And let's not forget that I was operating on very little information. I did not realize that you were the center of this problem. Now I know." 

"Oh." Blair frowned, obviously thinking about what James had said. "How _did_ you know that there was a problem--I mean you seemed willing to let it go the other night." Blair looked at James in confusion. 

"I overheard something that disturbed me. I was curious about the way you all have been acting, so after I sent Welles to fetch Hornblower and Kennedy I listened." 

"Really?" Blair asked with a sparkle of excitement in his eye. "How far away were they?" 

"A quarter of a mile I would imagine." 

"And you were able to extend your hearing and then pull it back without fading out?" Blair asked with growing animation. 

"Yes," James replied with a smile. "Obviously your teaching hasn't gone completely off target." 

"That is so great!" Blair exclaimed. "I knew you could do it. 

"It was only one time, Blair. And I didn't really think about it...I just did it. It seemed..." James searched for the word. 

"Natural," Blair finished, with a grin that clearly stated, 'I told you so'. 

"Fine...'natural' if you like. Do not get too excited. I'm sure that next time I try to use my senses it will not turn out so well." 

"No, I really think you are getting a hold on your abilities. Soon you will have no need of me at all." Blair's grin faltered a bit. 

James threw an arm over the young man's shoulders. "Never fear, Chief. I have much to learn still." The Captain pressed the young man against his side tighter and felt Blair's arm snake around his waist. The reminder that the young man would not be with him after the end of the voyage tweaked something in his chest. He pushed aside the unwelcome thought and pulled Blair with him. 

"Come, let us go back to camp and plan for tomorrow." 

James listened to his friend's chatter on the walk back to the camp patiently attempting to answer his many questions. He wondered as they walked just when he had started to think of Blair in his mind as his 'friend'. Shrugging he decided the truth was it didn't matter and simply enjoyed the enthusiastic spirit of his 'friend'. 

* * *

The next morning the Captain split the men into groups and gave instructions to each one. Soon they were all attending to their duties. Archie and James set off with their bows in search of game, leaving Blair and Horatio to gather edible plant life. 

Blair sighed and wiped his brow. The day was swelteringly hot. Oblivious to the jeers of his shipmates he had stripped back down to his loincloth to battle the heat. 

He glanced over at Lieutenant Hornblower who was working close by. Even he had succumbed to the heat somewhat...as much as Horatio ever would anyway. He had discarded his jacket and rolled up his sleeves--quite an occurrence for the proper young man. In fact, Blair could never remember having ever seen Horatio in anything but his full uniform before that moment. 

"What are you grinning at?" Horatio asked, lifting his head from his task. 

"Nothing, it is just a beautiful day," Blair replied, taking a deep breath. 

Horatio looked at him incredulously. "With this heat!" He paused to shoo away more insects. "And all these bugs, how can you say that?" 

Blair grinned again. "If I were home this would seem like a chilly day." 

Horatio went back to work; digging what Blair assured him was an edible root of some sort out of the soil. "Where is home for you?" 

"I was raised in Peru, by a small tribe called the Chopec." 

"Peru?" Horatio shook his head in wonder. "I have always wanted to see such exotic places. That was one of the reasons I joined the Navy. What was it like there?" 

"Beautiful," Blair answered with longing. "Full of love, laughter and life. It was a hard life. Survival without any modern convenience wasn't easy but I never wanted for food or shelter with the Chopec. To the Chopec each child is a -child of the village. Once my mother and I were taken in it was like I inherited a huge family." Blair smiled with the memory. "While at the time I wished for a few less parental figures to answer to, I can now see the benefits I was given. So many differing points of view, so many opportunities to learn." 

Horatio stopped working and turned to face Blair fully. "Why did you leave?" 

"Like you, I wanted to see the world. I wanted to experience other ways of life." Blair felt his joy fade. 

"And have you?" 

"Yes," Blair said darkly. "More than I ever imagined I'm afraid." He looked down at the full basket in his hands, lost in his thoughts of where his life had taken him. 

"Will you go back, do you think?" 

Blair hesitated. If Horatio had asked him that very question a few months ago, he would have answered with a resounding 'yes, as soon as possible', but now? The thought of staying with the Navy bothered him, but the thought of leaving the Captain disturbed him even more. 

"I don't know, Horatio," he replied quietly. "I just don't know." 

* * *

Archie followed behind the Captain, amazed at the transformation of the man. Gone was the stoic, unbending officer. In his place was a true predator. 

He moved through the forest without a sound, skillfully avoiding all branches, leaves and twigs that could betray his position and unfortunately making Archie's own passage behind him all the more noticeable. 

When the Captain had emerged from his tent that morning Archie had heard Blair catch his breath. After following the young man's gaze, he found he had to agree with Blair. James was stunning. He had discarded his traditional Navy uniform in favor of a sleeveless black shirt and simple black pants. He had tied a cloth over his head to keep hair and sweat from his eyes and his face and arms were streaked with some sort of paint--which Archie had later found was Sandburg's doing. With the bow slung over his back and hard muscles on view he looked dangerous. He looked stunning. The other men had simply stared in disbelief at the transformation of their Captain. The camp had grown silent as he and James began their hunt. 

Now, four hours later, Archie was feeling very outmatched. James moved like an animal himself, quick and deadly. His shot was incredible and they had netted four conies and a quail so far. Now James was on the trail of their main target: another deer. He was amazed that the Captain could follow the trail in the dense foliage but trusted his judgement and kept up as best he could. 

Finally, Archie spotted their prey. James made a hand motion to indicate he would circle around and flush the deer toward Archie. Archie nodded his understanding and fitted an arrow into his bow. Soon the animal lay dead. James immediately knelt over the deer to begin to prepare it. 

"We will have to return to camp now. It will be a long difficult hike carrying such a heavy load," James said as he worked. "Let's rest and eat here then start back." 

Archie pulled out the dry bread and water that they had brought and waited for James to finish. They would not risk a fire so far from the assistance of the other men. 

"We will have to travel farther from camp tomorrow, I think," James said as he sat beside Archie on a fallen tree. 

Archie nodded and handed over a portion of the bread. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Once the bread had been consumed, the Captain stood and faced Archie. "You did well today. I am glad to have you along." 

Archie blushed at the praise. "Thank you for saying so sir, but I think that you would do well enough on your own." 

"I do not dismiss your help so easily, Lieutenant. Perhaps I could hunt on my own, but with your help I am faster and the job is easier. Yes, I probably could have killed that deer without your help," he said gesturing toward the carcass, "but it would have taken more time and left me far more tired. And certainly I could not carry it back to camp on my own." 

"Alright," Archie said holding up his hands with a smile. "I am not totally useless to you." 

"Far from it, young man. Now let's get ready to travel." James stepped toward the deer then turned back to Archie. "I seem to remember promising you to help you with your Lieutenant's exam. Perhaps we can occupy ourselves with that on the walk back to camp?" 

Archie climbed to his feet. "I would like that very much, sir. Thank you." Archie grinned as the Captain waved off his thanks. 

It was night before they reached the camp. Archie's head was spinning by that time, both from all the information and from the physical exertion. He was not surprised to find Horatio and Blair talking quietly, trying not to look as though they were waiting up for them. They greeted their friends warmly and after a quick rundown on the day, left the kills in a shipmate's capable hands and all four men retired for the evening. 

* * *

When Horatio woke the next morning, he found the bedroll next to his own empty. Only the second day and already he was finding he missed his friend. He glanced over and met eyes with Sandburg who was looking equally dejected. Horatio pulled himself out of bed and after a quick breakfast was once again following Blair into the woods to continue with their job. 

Several hours later, Horatio stood and stretched his back, pulling his collar away from his neck for what felt like the hundredth time. Finally, he gave into the heat and unbuttoned the first three buttons. He almost groaned in relief as he felt immediately better. 

He looked over and found Blair grinning at him. "What?" he asked for the second day in a row. 

"I was just sitting here thinking that each day your standard of dress relaxes more. Soon, you will be down to your knickers," Blair laughed. 

"Ha ha. Very droll, Blair. You should know I suppose...since you've been wearing your knickers since you boarded the 'Valiant'." Horatio smirked. 

Blair stared at him in mock offense. "I believe I have been insulted. You will..." He broke off and jumped to his feet as a blast echoed through the forest. 

"Gunfire!" Horatio stated. "This way." He set off at a run through the trees, pulling his gun from its holster as he went. His heart sank at the thought that the French must have discovered them already. It was too soon. They had not even sent the men back to the ship with their efforts of the day before. 

They burst into a small clearing and came to an abrupt halt. Horatio felt anger burn through his body as he saw that Welles stood over the carcass of a boar, a gun literally smoking in his hand. 

"I got him!" Welles said proudly. 

Oblivious to the other men coming into the clearing, drawn by the gunfire as he had been, Horatio strode over to the Lieutenant. "You'll bring the entire French army down on us, man! What are you thinking?" Horatio said angrily. 

Welles frowned then glared at Horatio. "The meat is worth a little risk...isn't that so, men?" he said to the surrounding sailors. 

Silence met his question. 

"If the French are anywhere in a twenty mile radius of us they will have heard the shot, Welles. We are but a few men. If discovered, all is lost. You are a fool. I will leave you to be dealt with by the Captain...who no doubt is on his way back right now, having heard your gunfire. If I were you I would pray that I had not just killed every man here." Horatio turned away but paused when he felt Blair's hand on his arm. 

"You should not let the meat go to waste. What's done is done." 

"Quite right, Blair. Thank you for reminding me." He motioned to two of the men. "Take the boar back and prepare it." The men moved forward to do his bidding and without another look at Welles, Horatio headed back in the direction of the camp, hoping that the walk would help him control his temper. 

Horatio was not surprised when Blair fell in beside him. Over the past couple of days he had grown quite fond of the man. Blair's natural enthusiasm for life and positive attitude bolstered his own. He also found that Blair told the most amazing stories of his exploits in far-reaching places. For a young man, Blair had led an exciting life. Horatio was amazed to realize that even with the dirt, bugs and danger, he had passed a quite enjoyable couple of days. 

"Welles will not soon forget the dressing down in front of the men, Horatio," Blair warned. "I could see in his eyes when you turned your back that he would like to kill you. He even raised the gun slightly before thinking better of it." 

"Damn," Horatio swore, pausing to lean against a tree. "I knew I should not have said anything in front of the men, but it's just that it was a needlessly dangerous thing to do. He will get us all killed!" 

"Calm down, Horatio," Blair soothed. "I agree with you, he is the worst kind of fool--one who is a danger not only to himself but to those around him." 

* * *

They arrived back to camp just as James burst into the clearing. Blair winced as he heard the Captain's harsh breathing and saw his exhausted face. It was obvious that the older man had run for the camp when he had heard the gunfire. James veered in their direction as soon as he caught sight of them. 

Bending over slightly as he came to a stop in front of them, James attempted to catch his breath. "What happened? I heard a shot." 

Blair cleared his throat. "The shot you heard was Mr. Welles bringing down a boar." 

"What?" James bellowed. "Why would he use his gun?" 

Blair shrugged. "That is something you shall have to ask the Lieutenant I'm afraid. 

Anger clear in his face, James asked, "Where is he?" 

"Last we saw he was back at the clearing, with the beast," Blair answered. 

"Show me," James ordered. Blair looked at the Captain closely for a moment before responding. 

"It is done, James. Do not let anger cloud your judgement." 

"Mr. Hornblower," James said to the young Lieutenant who had drifted a ways away as he and Blair talked. 

"Yes, sir," Horatio responded. 

"Show me where the boar was killed." 

"Aye aye, sir," Horatio nodded with a brief look at Blair. The men set off and after a sigh, Blair followed. 

* * *

James noticed that Blair stood back as he strode over to Welles once they had reached the clearing. He knew that Blair was afraid that he would let his temper get the best of him, but the young man had not had to listen to Welles' annoying voice bragging about his shot ever since they got half way to the site. 

"One shot...one shot straight to the heart. He was dead before he hit the ground." 

The midshipmen that Welles was speaking with saw the Captain coming and moved away quickly. Welles turned, his smile dying as he saw James. 

"C-Captain, what are you doing back?" Welles stammered. 

James stepped in close, using his greater height to intimidate. "Lieutenant Welles. Did you fire the shot that killed that beast?" He gestured back to the body of the animal. 

Welles glanced to the Captain's right and spotted Horatio. "What has he been telling you Captain?" 

"Mr. Hornblower has told me nothing. Please answer my question." 

"I did." Welles looked straight ahead, his hands clasped behind his back. 

James walked around the young man--circling him as he stood unmoving. 

"Are you aware of our precarious situation here, Mr. Welles?" 

"Yes sir." Welles' eyes drifted back to Horatio, who simply stared at him impassively. 

"You are aware then that if discovered by the French every man here would be killed or imprisoned, leaving the Valiant without sustenance and without her Captain?" James paused behind the Lieutenant to ask the question. 

"Yes, sir," Welles answered. 

James moved back around to stand in front of the young man, his jaw tightly clenched. "You are then aware of the need for silence?" 

"I am, sir." 

"Explain yourself then, man!" James waited. He thought himself a fair man. He would always offer the chance for an explanation. 

Welles cleared his throat before answering steadily. "The opportunity presented itself and I felt the risk was worth the benefits." 

James felt his anger grow. "You felt the risks were worth the benefits?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"And who are you to make that determination? Did you not understand your assigned duties?" 

"No, sir...I mean yes, sir...yes I did understand my duties...but..." the young man stammered, losing his composure a bit under the relentless angry stare of the Captain. 

"What were those duties?" 

"To oversee the preparation and transport of the foodstuffs," Welles answered nervously. 

"Yes, that is correct. And what is 'my' role on this god-forsaken land?" 

"To lead the men and to hunt and secure meat." James could see the Lieutenant's reluctance to answer. 

"Did you perhaps feel the I was not up to my task? That I required assistance in securing the meat?" James asked, his jaw twitching once more. 

"No, sir, of course not!" Welles said adamantly. 

"And yet, here you are," James gestured to their surroundings. "A quarter of a mile from your unfinished duties, having just killed a beast that would feed perhaps three hungry men a single time. And for this you risk giving away our position to the enemy." 

Welles' face reddened. James continued. "Do you have anything to add that might encourage leniency?" 

"It was an error in judgement, sir. One that I will not repeat," Welles said stiffly. James paused for a moment before speaking, considering how to handle the situation. 

"No. You will not repeat this error, Mr. Welles. I will have your gun, sir," James ordered. 

"But Captain..." Welles complained. 

"Now, Lieutenant!" James barked, cutting off further complaint. 

Reluctantly, the young man obeyed and handed over the weapon. 

"Since I cannot trust you to use this responsibly, I will keep it until we return to the ship. Once there, I will determine your punishment. Until then, return to your duties and take care to do them well." Without another word James turned and strode off toward the campsite with Blair falling into step with him as he passed. 

Welles turned to follow, but paused next to Horatio. 

"I know this is your doing, Hornblower. You will pay for this," he spat out. Horatio stayed silent, refusing to rise to the bait. With one last look of disgust Welles moved on, his entire body vibrating with anger. 

* * *

Once back in the camp, James moved to his tent, stripping off his sweat-soaked shirt as he went and grabbing a fresh one. He heard Blair catch his breath as his chest was revealed and felt his anger dissipate a bit. Quickly turning around, James pulled a new shirt over his head then turned back to his friend. 

"I left Kennedy about four miles out, guarding our kills for the day. When I heard the shot, I dropped everything and ran for camp," James explained. 

Blair nodded. "Give me a bit and I will return with you to fetch Kennedy and the meat." 

"That's not necessary, Blair," James said, gathering his weapons again. 

Blair looked around to make sure no one was within earshot before answering. He was glad to note that they were alone in the sleeping tents, everyone else was out hard at work. "It is necessary," Blair stated. "Look at yourself, James. You hunted for several hours then ran, full out if I know you, four miles through rough terrain. You are only mortal, Captain. There is only so much a body will take--even one such as your own." 

James opened his mouth to speak, but Blair's last sentence threw him. 

"Will you just listen to my suggestions?" Blair asked, imploringly placing one hand on the Captain's arm. 

James put his weapons on the ground and sat down next to the fire. He knew there was much to his friend's words. He felt the strain and ache of his overtaxed muscles. The thought of the hike back, followed by attempting to carry a too-heavy load for four miles exhausted him. Finally, James nodded to the younger man, who had taken a seat next to him. Blair smiled. "We should rest here for a couple of hours, then set out. That will accomplish two things. First, you will not feel the need to an all out race to get back to Archie and then back again to camp just in case the French attack. By giving ourselves a couple of hours we should know whether there is an immediate danger." 

James nodded in agreement. "I can scan the surrounding woods for anything suspicious, just in case." He blushed at how pleased Blair seemed with his suggestion. 

"An excellent idea," Blair exclaimed. 

"It would mean that we would have to sleep away from camp tonight, Blair. There is no way we could go there and back before nightfall." 

"Yes," Blair agreed. "We will travel to Kennedy, get a good night's rest, then tomorrow, we will return to camp with me shouldering a portion of the meat. This is necessary as neither you nor Archie can afford to exhaust yourselves." 

James nodded. "Yes. Mr. Kennedy and I will have to return to the hunt immediately after dropping off the meat. This also means that Kennedy and I will probably be forced to spend another night away from camp because of the late start back out to the hunt. Damn Welles," James swore. "Not only has he endangered every man here, he has put us behind schedule." 

"Are we agreed then?" Blair asked. 

"We are," James nodded. "Sounds like a reasonable way to proceed." Both men watched as Welles entered the camp site. He glanced at them then quickly looked away. "I fear our trouble with Lieutenant Welles has not ended," James said regretfully. Blair nodded and then handed James his rations...sitting close while the Captain ate. 

* * *

They were ready to go, slightly more than two hours later. With Blair's help, James had used his hearing to check the surrounding area for any problem. Thankfully, he found none. Blair breathed a sigh of relief. It looked as though they weren't going to have to pay for Welles' stupidity after all. He followed the Captain over to Horatio. 

"Mr. Hornblower, you will be in charge during my absence," James informed the young man. Horatio blinked in surprise. 

"But what of Lieutenant Welles?" 

"I have already informed Lieutenant Welles of my decision. For the duration of this mission you will be second in command. Is that clear?" 

Horatio nodded seriously. "Yes sir, very clear. I will not let you down." 

James smiled then. "It never crossed my mind that you would Mr. Hornblower. Blair and I will be going now. We will see you in the morning." James nodded to the young man then turned away to gather his things. Blair stepped up to Horatio. 

"I do not feel right about leaving you here like this, Horatio," he said in a whisper. "I fear that Welles is a dangerous man." 

"I agree, Blair. But do not worry. Many of the men have come to me since my altercation with Welles to offer their support. It seems the Lieutenant is not well liked amongst his men. I will be sure to take care and keep such men near me." 

Blair nodded uncertainly, torn between going with James and staying to aid Horatio. Finally, he nodded. "All right. Be careful. We will be back with the morning light in any case. It is not such a long time." 

"Of course not, Blair. Do not worry. I would rather you and the Captain made haste back to Archie, than stayed here because of a danger that may or may not materialize." 

Blair nodded and turned, stopping when Horatio grabbed his arm. "Give my regards to Archie," he said intently. Blair smiled and nodded, then ran to catch up with the Captain. 

* * *

Concluded in part three.

Link to text version of part two: http://www.squidge.org/archive/cgi-bin/convert.cgi?filename=au2/valiant_b.html


	3. Chapter 3

This story has been split into three parts for easier loading.

## The Valiant

by Mia Athlas

Author's webpage: <http://http://www.squidge.org/~subrosa/fic/valiant/valiant.html>

Notes and disclaimer in part one. 

* * *

The Valiant - part three 

They hiked quickly for two miles before stopping for a short break. Blair was quite certain the Captain paused mainly out of worry that he would overstress his still tender leg. The woods were beginning to grow dark. Nighttime in the wilderness was one of Blair's favorite times of day. Everything was quiet, save for the rustle of the trees and the occasional nocturnal animal. He smiled as dusk fell and settled down next to the Captain. 

"Well, you seem to be in a good mood, Blair," James said after glancing at him. 

"There's just something about being far away from civilization that I love, James. The quiet sounds of the forest sooth me and make me feel connected to life in a way I never feel when I am in the company of other men." 

James looked at him curiously. "You are not exactly alone here, Chief." 

Blair blushed. "Well, no. It's just that you seem to blend in with the wilderness, James. It seems a part of you." Blair looked up to make sure he wasn't annoying the Captain. James simply looked back at him with a pensive expression on his face. Taking this as a good sign, Blair continued. 

"I have never seen you so alive as since we have arrived on this island James. Moving through the woods just now...I cannot describe it. Grace. Beauty..." Blair stopped as James looked away. 

"I'm sorry if I've offended you, James, that was never my intention." The Captain turned back to him. 

"I'm not offended, Blair, just confused. You should not say such things of me." 

"Why?" Blair asked. "It is true--you are beautiful." 

James stood abruptly. 

"Stop. A man cannot be beautiful to another man. It is wrong." James turned away stiffly. 

Blair stood and stepped up close to the Captain's back. "It is not wrong to see beauty in another, to feel attraction. I know that you feel things for me, James. I felt your response when I touched you in your cabin that day," Blair whispered, still not touching the other man. He had hoped that James would come to him long before and had kept his distance to give the older man time to come to terms with his feelings. Perhaps he needed another push. Blair walked around the Captain and stood in front of him so that the older man had to look into his face. 

"Look at me, James. Am I so unattractive? I have seen the way to watch me when you do not believe I am looking. Are you not tempted to touch me?" James was breathing harder as he stared into Blair's face. Tentatively, he raised his hand and touched the young man's cheek tenderly. 

"Tempted?" James said in a hushed tone. "I sometimes wonder how I will resist." 

Blair reached up and placed his hand over the Captain's, holding it to his cheek. "You do not have to resist, James. I do not want you to resist." He turned his face and kissed James' open palm. The Captain shuddered, then pulled his hand away, taking a step back. 

"I'm sorry, Blair. I can't do this." 

Blair stepped forward before James could retreat further and grabbed his hand. "Have you no feelings for me at all?" he asked, slightly fearing the response. 

James gripped the young man's hand tightly. "I--I do have feelings for you, Blair. I just can't turn from my belief that what I feel isn't real. Perhaps what I'm feeling is only due to my illness. I have never wanted from any man what I desire from you." The Captain's smoldering gaze captured Blair. Blair stepped closer only to have James retreat once more. He sighed in frustration. 

"I need time, Blair. Can you give me that?" James asked. 

"Hold still," Blair said in exasperation. James stayed where he was and nervously eyed Blair as the young man approached him again. Slowly, Blair opened his arms and wrapped them around the Captain's waist, pressing his face against the older man's chest. He smiled as he felt James' arms come around him, holding on tight. His reply while muffled a bit by the Captain's shirt was clear enough. "I will give you the time you need, James. Remember though that our time is not endless; before you know it we will be docked on an English shore. Then what will become of us?" Blair was warmed to his core as he felt lips press against the top of his head. Then James laid his cheek where he had kissed. 

"I do have feelings for you, Blair...deep feelings. I think I have ever since the day you boarded the Valiant. I only need time to reconcile those feelings with the man I am. Thank you for understanding, my friend." 

They shared the embrace for several minutes and finally it was Blair who pulled away. "Archie will be worried sick, we had best continue on our way." 

"Yes," James replied in a suspiciously husky voice. Before Blair could catch the look on his face, the Captain had turned away and after picking up his gear, started off again through the woods. Blair stayed close to him for the remainder of the journey, using the darkness as an excuse to keep one hand resting on the bigger man's back. James did not complain. In fact, after Blair stumbled once in the darkness, he found his hand gripped in the Captain's for the remainder of their hike. 

* * *

Horatio opened his eyes and peered into the darkness, trying to place the sound that had awoken him. He lay still inside his tent, until it came again. Something brushed by the outside of the canvas. He slowly sat up and pushed off his blankets, listening. 

He heard a quiet murmur, which seemed to come from his right but could not make out the words. Ever conscious of night attack he climbed to his knees and very slowly and quietly made his way to the opening of his tent. 

He eased open the flap and peered out into the dim campsite. Horatio wished for a simple fire to ease the darkness but unfortunately the risk of it being seen at night was too great. 

After easing himself out onto the ground, Horatio looked around. He saw nothing amiss. The sentry posted turned towards him and raised his hand singling all was well. Horatio pulled on his boots and stood, looking to the rear of his tent. He had heard whispers and felt something brush against his tent, he was certain of that, but now there was nothing. 

Horatio walked carefully to the rear of his tent and examined the soft ground. Footsteps. He looked up in the direction of the prints and saw a flash of movement in the darkness. Drawing his gun, he stepped toward the woods. The last vestiges of sleep left him as he moved silently forward. 

He paused as he reached the edge of the woods. No. It would be foolhardy to continue. If he was being lured here then he would be crazy to continue. He heard a whisper from just ahead. 

Peering into the darkness, he called out softly. "Show yourself." 

A light laugh met his request and Horatio realised how foolish he had been to go this far. Without taking his eyes, or his gun, off the darkness in front of him, he began to back away. He was about to call out to the guard when something heavy fell across his back and came across his mouth, stopping him. 

A shadow moved quickly toward him from behind the trees grabbing his gun hand. He was quickly overwhelmed and the campsite faded from his view as he was pulled into the cover of the woods. 

Something was stuffed into his mouth and he attempted unsuccessfully to spit it out. His hands were roughly tied behind his back and a cloth fell across his eyes making the darkness complete. He cursed his own stupidity for being led away like a child. 

Horatio stood still in the darkness, listening to the whispers off to his right. Two men. He would bet all he had that one of those men was Welles. Suddenly, a hand hit him on the shoulder forcing him to stumble forward. Another fist struck him on the chest driving him back once more. 

"Not so cocky now, are you Hornblower?" a harsh voice whispered in the darkness. Horatio couldn't swear that the voice was Welles. He comforted himself with the fact that they might not intend to kill him. His attackers had taken great pains to ensure that he could not identify them. The optimistic thought was driven out of him as a fist caught him hard in the stomach. 

Horatio fell to his knees, gasping for breath. Someone grabbed his hair and his head was yanked back. He felt hot, foul breath against his face and was thankful for the blindfold which kept them from seeing his fear. 

His head was released with a sound of disgust and something slammed hard against his face. He fell back, feeling blood trickle into his mouth from a split lip. Horatio felt a hand in his hair as he was pulled to his knees again. 

The hot breath was back. "I'll bet you don't feel so superior now, do you Hornblower? You make me sick...playing to the Captain like you do...ratting on your fellow sailors. It's no wonder you reached your rank so young. I wonder how far you'd go?" The voice turned low and ugly. "And here I was thinking that Sandburg was the Captain's whore. I bet it was you all along, wasn't it, Hornblower?" 

Horatio held his breath trying not to retch from the foul breath and taste of blood in his mouth. 

"I think it's time you shared the goods." Horatio cringed as a rough tongue trailed across his cheek and over his lips. Though he knew it was a mistake, he couldn't seem to help himself. He brought his head back sharply, connecting solidly with the foul presence behind him. The second man, who had moved to stand in front of him, backhanded him and once again he found himself lying on the ground. 

"So, the 'boy' likes it rough," a different voice whispered. "I think we can oblige." Rough hands grabbed him and turned him over onto his back. Horatio began to fight, but could do little with his hands tied behind his back. His shirt was pulled open and his attacked paused to pinch a nipple hard. Horatio groaned in pain as the finger mercilessly worked the abused nub. Finally it was released but his relief was short lived as the hands immediately moved to his trousers. 

Horatio was frozen in disbelief. He was going to be raped. His mind shied away from the thought, but the rough hands at the fastenings to his trousers made the reality of his situation hard to ignore. He prayed for Archie or the Captain to arrive to save him from his fate but unmercifully he could not even lose himself in that fantasy, he knew they were miles away. 

"Damn...I can't get the tie loose," the man cursed. 

"Here, use this," the other man said and Horatio heard the sound of steel leaving its scabbard. He began to fight anew. He was surprised when one leg came free, obviously the man was too involved in undoing his trousers. He took the advantage and bent his knee then thrust back with all his might, catching his assailant. Suddenly, the weight on his groin was gone. Horatio struggled to his knees, hoping that the surprise would give him enough time to run for the cover of the trees. As he placed one foot on the ground in preparation to stand, he froze as a blade pressed against his neck. 

"Going somewhere, Hornblower? No, I don't think so...things are just beginning to get interesting." 

"I'm going to kill that little whore," a hard voice said in normal tones for the first time, not the same voice that held the sword to his throat. A voice that he recognized all to well. Welles. 

"I think the time for deception is past," Welles said and the blindfold was torn from Horatio's eyes. He blinked repeatedly, till his vision adjusted to the darkness. Welles' angry face loomed before him. "I told you that you would be sorry, Hornblower. I bet you never thought just how sorry I would make you, did you?" 

Horatio glared at him then turned his head to look at the other man. He recognized as one of the crew but could not place his name. Welles grabbed his hair and twisted his head around to face him. "I was only going to anonymously use your ass, now we shall have to make sure that you come to an unfortunate accident." Welles sneered. 

Fear coiled in Horatio's stomach as he was thrown face first onto the ground. "Put you sword to his throat...if he so much as twitches, cut him." Horatio felt hands at the back of his britches and bucked backwards. He caught a boot in the ribs, then several hard punches to his back for the movement, then the sword was held tight to his throat, forcing him into stillness. The hands were back. He felt something cold slip into the back of his trouser, then they were cut down the center, leaving him exposed. Horatio tried to breath slowly through the gag, feeling his nausea increase as a callused hand touched his bare skin. 

"My God!" A voice cried out suddenly, as they were bathed in light. 

"Release Lieutenant Hornblower at once and step away. Are you men mad?" Horatio blinked at the sudden light of the lantern and looked up to find the sentry from the camp and another guard standing in front of them. The sword eased from his throat. 

"Cut his bonds. Quick now, or I will drop you where you stand." The disgust in the sentry's voice was unmistakable. Horatio felt cool steel against his wrists then his hands were free. He scrambled out from under Welles and his other kidnapper and immediately pulled the gag from his mouth. He coughed violently, as he staggered to place the guard between himself and the two men. The second guard put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. 

"Are you well, Lieutenant Hornblower?" 

Horatio looked up and found that he recognized the young man. It was the fellow that he had seen Blair teaching to use the staff. He tried to speak but found no voice. He coughed once more, then accepted the canteen the young man passed him. After a drink he tried again. 

"You have come to my rescue just in time, Mr. Mosby. I am forever in your debt." 

Mosby gestured to the two men standing sullenly with their hands behind their heads, as the Sentry had instructed. "What would you have us do with them?" he asked. 

The other guard...Michaels, spoke up. "Attacking a senior officer in such a disgraceful and disgusting manner. Even the noose is too good for them." 

"He is not my senior officer," Welles spat out. "Come now gentlemen. I think there has been a terrible misunderstanding here. We were only having a joke on the Lieutenant." 

Michaels held his gun steady. "Mr. Hornblower is in charge per the Captain's orders, and therefore is your senior. Further, do not speak to me of a 'joke', Welles. The Lieutenant's bruises and state of dress speak for themselves. Besides which, I know you for what you are...this is simply the first time I've had the good fortune to catch you at it...with someone important." Michael's voice had grown cold and progressively angrier. Horatio wondered who Welles might have hurt for the guard to feel so strongly against him. Horatio stood straight and was dismayed to feel the breeze against his backside. After buttoning his shirt quickly, he pulled the ends from his trousers, letting the billowing white fabric cover his torn britches. Straightening, he stepped forward. 

"We will take you back to camp where you will be chained until the Captain's return," he said stiffly, attempting to control his emotions. "Captain Ellison will once again decide your fate." Horatio turned carefully, wincing at the pain in his ribs at the movement and stepped past Michaels once more. "Bring them." Leaving them in the guard's capable hands, Horatio painfully made his way back to the camp. 

Once he had crawled inside his tent, the shivers began. His whole body began to quake with them. As quick as he could manage he stripped off his torn clothing, pulling others on in their place. Then he pulled his knees up and hung on...trying to ride out the fear and shock of what had almost happened. One thought rose in his mind in a wave of sickening horror. How could Archie have stood it? If it had really been done to him, Horatio did not know if he could do as well as his friend. Horatio grabbed on to thoughts of Archie. 

"I w-wish you w-were here with me now," he whispered. "I-I need you now." Horatio pulled his blanket over top of himself and curled up into a ball. Lying in the darkness, he tried to imagine Archie's arms around him and prayed for the chattering of his teeth to stop. 

* * *

Three hours past sunrise, the Captain, Blair and Archie walked into camp laden with the previous day's kills. Archie was glad to be back to their temporary home. The past day had been a difficult one. He had spent several hours unsure whether the camp had been destroyed by the French--unsure whether Horatio lived. When the Captain and Blair appeared once more he had been overwhelmed with relief. Now, all he longed to do was to see Horatio, to be certain that his friend was well. Archie was surprised that the Lieutenant was not there to greet them. As they dropped the meat, he saw Welles and another man chained securely to a tree and his fear returned in full force. 

"Captain," he said, gesturing to the captives. James frowned and his eyes settled on Michaels and Mosby as they approached. Both men looked deathly serious. James fixed the senior man with his gaze. 

"Michaels, report." 

Michaels and Mosby came to a stop in front of the men. "Captain. I regret that I have to report that Welles and Abrams attacked Lieutenant Hornblower last night. We have been forced to detain the men until your arrival." 

Archie took a sharp breath and stepped forward, ignoring the Captain. He gripped Michaels lapels fiercely. "Lieutenant Hornblower? Where is Horatio? Speak man!" he shouted, overcome with fear. Horatio should have been there to meet them. 

"H-He is down by the stream," Michaels stammered in surprise at Archie's reaction. 

"He's alive?" Archie said, hardly believing it. 

"Yes," Michaels said, finally understanding. "I am sorry, I never meant to have you believe that Mr. Hornblower had not survived the attack. He is tending his wounds, down by the stream." 

Archie released Michaels and looked up at James. "Captain?" he asked. 

"Go tend to Mr. Hornblower. Tell him that I need to speak with him as soon as he is ready." James said with no little worry. 

"Yes, Captain," Archie answered already heading in the direction of the stream. 

"Tell me everything you know," was the last thing Archie heard the Captain command as he left the campsite. 

With each step, his worry grew. What had happened? How had Horatio been hurt? Archie picked up his pace and ended up running through the woods towards the small stream. As he burst into the clearing, Horatio jumped and turned, sword in his hand. Archie could see the fear in his eyes, and the tremors that passed through his body. Archie found that for a moment, he couldn't move. 

He caught his breath as he took in the rest of his friend's appearance. His right eye was blackened, leading into a bruise on his cheekbone and split lip. Horatio stood without a shirt, obviously having been attempting to wash. His chest revealed mottled bruising around his stomach area mostly. What caught Archie's attention the most was bruising around Horatio's nipple. Of all his injuries it was that small one that hinted at a sexual attack that froze Archie in his place. Finally, Horatio lowered his sword and Archie's paralysis broke. 

"My God. Horatio," he said as he moved forward. "How bad is it? Are you hurt elsewhere?" Archie reached out but didn't touch his friend. 

"I am alright, Archie. Truly. It is only bruising, I will heal." Horatio knelt back down on the bank of the stream and continued cleaning away the dirt that clung to his bruised skin. 

And Archie saw his back. 

"Horatio, your back looks very painful." Bruising covered the Lieutenant's lower back. Archie reached out a hand tentatively and touched an unbruised area. "Tell me what happened? Please Horatio? Did they...I swear I'll kill those bastards!" Archie swung away, unable to deal with the possibility that his friend may have endured rape. He turned back when he felt Horatio's hand on his arm. He met his friend's wet eyes with his own. 

"I was not raped, Archie. Michaels and Mosby found me before they could finish their attack." Gently, Archie put an arm around his friend as Horatio leaned forward and rested his forehead against Archie's chest. "But I thought they were going to, Archie...I truly thought that I would be raped, killed and left here. Or worse, to be found broken and bleeding by my shipmates, my disgrace discovered...I thought that I would never see England again, never stand atop a mast, never see you..." Horatio broke off, his body shaking under Archie's hand. 

Wrapping his other arm around his friend, Archie pressed him close. He held Horatio as tightly as he dared, ever mindful of the bruises, as his friend wept. Soon, Horatio pulled free and wiped at his eyes angrily. 

"Damn. I'm too old to be crying like a baby. It is only a few bruises...I've endured worse before." 

Archie followed him and put a hand back on his shoulder. "It is all right, Horatio. There is only me here. I am so sorry that I wasn't here for you last night. I swore to myself that I would never let such a thing happen to you." The unsaid word 'too' hung between them. Horatio stepped close and pulled Archie into a brief but hard hug. 

"I know you would have been here, if there were any way, Archie. I am alright. My bruises will fade, life will go on. Thank you for being here now." 

"By your side is where I've always been, Horatio, where I'll always be." Horatio released him and knelt back down beside the stream. 

"Will you wash my back, Archie? I cannot reach and I want to get the feel of their hands off my skin." Archie took the washcloth and gently washed his friend's back. When he was done, he turned Horatio and spent the same care washing his face, neck and chest before handing back the washcloth. 

"Better?" he asked quietly. 

Horatio nodded with a slight grin. "Much. Thank you." They both turned as Blair came out of the woods. 

"Are you hurt badly, Horatio?" he asked, concerned at the other man's appearance. 

"I will heal, but thank you for asking, Blair. I suppose the Captain has sent for me?" Horatio asked, shrugging back into his shirt. 

"Yes, if you are ready?" 

Horatio nodded and the three men headed back to camp. 

* * *

Horatio reported to the Captain what had happened in as much detail as possible. His testimony along with the guards that had interrupted the attack was enough in James' mind to warrant a hearing for Welles and Abrams in England. Until then they would remain under guard. It was mid-afternoon before he and Archie were able to return to the hunt. They would most definitely have to make sleep away from the campsite for another night. 

They walked silently for a long time. James knew that the attack on Horatio had disturbed Kennedy greatly and also that the young man was hesitant to leave his friend so soon after the attack. To Archie's credit he did not complain, nor did he ask to be left behind. The Acting Lieutenant knew his duty and did it without comment. James respected him more for that. Finally, he decided it would do the young man good to talk. They had at least another hour's walk before they would begin the hunt. 

"He will be fine, Mr. Kennedy," James said. 

Archie looked over at him startled for a moment, then nodded. "I know. It's silly to worry. He is a grown man." 

"Not so silly, Archie," James said softly. "He is your friend." 

"Yes," Archie said thoughtfully, "My friend." 

James walked for a moment. "You and Hornblower are close?" he asked, not certain where he was going with the question. 

Archie blushed. "Yes. We took to each other right off. We seemed to be naturally in tune with each other." 

"You and I have spent a lot of time together recently, Archie. I think you are a fine young man," James said. 

"Uh...thank you, Captain," Archie said in confusion. "I have enjoyed our time together immensely." 

"Could I ask you something--it may be a bit improper?" 

Archie paused, then nodded firmly. "I will answer." 

"Are you...I mean, have you...well, what I was wondering is..." James broke off. "No, never mind. We are far enough now to begin our hunt." The Captain took his bow from his shoulder and stealthily moved away before Archie could respond. 

* * *

They hunted successfully and did not speak more than a few words until they had settled in for the night. Archie had been wondering throughout the day just what the Captain had been trying to ask. Finally, after they had eaten and settled into their bedrolls he decided to get it out in the open. It was obviously bothering the older man. 

"Captain?" 

"Yes, Archie," James replied. 

"The question you were going to ask me earlier?" 

"Yes, what of it?" James asked, not bothering to attempt to pretend he was not aware of exactly what Archie was referring to. 

"You can ask me you know. I will answer." Archie waited in the darkness. Finally he heard a rustle next to him. 

"Just between us two?" James asked hesitantly. 

Archie could hear the uncertainty in the Captain's voice and was even more curious as to where the discussion was going. "Of course. I would never break a confidence, sir." He heard James take a deep breath. 

"Are you and Hornblower sleeping together?" he said in a rush. "It is fine if you are, I would just like to know." 

Archie frowned. "No. We are not sleeping together. Why would you ask such a thing?" 

"Oh. That's fine. Forget I said anything." The bedroll rustled again and Archie pictured the Captain laying down again. Was it disappointment he heard in his voice? 

"No. I think not, Captain. I answered your question now I would respectfully ask that you answer mine," he said stiffly. 

"Go ahead, Lieutenant," James said with a sigh. 

"Would it bother you if I preferred to lay with men?" 

"Do you?" James asked, without answering the question. 

Archie decided to take a chance. He trusted James. The man had been kind and fair to both himself and Horatio--and he had seen the way the Captain looked at Blair. "Yes." 

Another rustle. "No, it does not bother...not really. I just..." James trailed off again. 

"You just don't understand how two men could do that together?" 

"I understand. Lord knows I've seen many things in my life but...I have never personally considered the question before." His response was very quiet. 

"Personally?" Archie said in surprise. Then he smiled. "Ahhhh, young Sandburg has gotten to you." 

"Why would you say that?" James asked in confusion. 

"He is staying in your cabin. You and he spend an inordinate amount of time together. I have seen the way he looks at you, Captain. It does not take any skill on my part to make the leap." 

"Oh," James said. He was silent for a few minutes and Archie was just about to close his eyes to sleep when the Captain spoke again. 

"How did you know?" 

"Know what?" 

"How did you know that you liked to lay with other men?" James asked. 

"You make it sound as if I have bedded the entire Navy," Archie said with a laugh. "I'm not sure how to answer your question, James." Archie paused as he realised he had slipped and used the Captain's first name. It just seemed to odd to discuss such a thing using the man's title. When the Captain didn't object he continued. "I expect I knew the first time I kissed a man. It was a stable hand named Edward. I still remember him fondly." 

"So after you kissed him you knew?" James asked. 

"Yes, I guess so. I had kissed a few girls before then but it never felt the same to me." 

James fell silent again. 

"How does Blair feel?" Archie asked finally. 

"He wishes to take our friendship further," James answered solemnly. 

"And you, what do you wish?" 

"I do not want to hurt him. I care for Blair deeply. I wish I could be certain that I could have that sort of relations with another man, before entering into something more with Blair," James said the last thoughtfully. 

"Have you never had feelings for another man?" Archie asked. 

"No. I have never entertained the thought. To be honest, my career took all of my time and concentration. A relationship with another has simply not been possible for many years. I have never so much as kissed another man." 

"The only advice I can give you is to do as your heart dictates, James. The pieces will fall into place for you and Blair." 

"You could help me," James said after a time. 

Archie blinked in confusion. "Help you? How?" 

"You could let me kiss you--only once--just so that I could see if I could respond to another man...only if you want to..." James trailed off. 

Archie considered the request. From any other man, he would have assumed the request was made for improper reasons. A way to get him into their bed. But with the Captain, Archie believed his sincerity. The romantic in him told him to do it. Horatio's face loomed before him, stopping his immediate acceptance. 

"I will consider you request, James. I can promise no more," he said finally. 

"Thank you, Archie. That is all I can ask." Archie could hear the relief in James' voice but was uncertain whether the relief was because he had not refused him outright or because he had not accepted his request immediately. He smiled and with thoughts of Horatio in his mind, drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Blair awoke to a commotion in the campsite. Quickly he pulled on his boots and crawled out of his tent. Horatio was standing in the center of the camp, obviously angry. A crestfallen young soldier stood in front of him. 

"You are dismissed," Horatio said with a wave of his arm. Blair hurried over to the Lieutenant. 

"Horatio, what is it?" he asked in alarm. The young man looked so distraught. 

"Escaped! Somehow, Welles and Abrams have been allowed to escape!" he cried out. 

"What? How?" 

"No one seems to know. The guard stepped away to relieve himself. He didn't think it would be a problem he says. He was only gone a minute. When he returned, they were gone. Damn. This is all we need," Horatio said in frustration. 

Blair looked out into the woods. "I expect they are long gone by now." 

"Yes," Horatio answered angrily. "Gone. Free from standing for their crimes." 

Blair shook his head and put a hand on Horatio's shoulder. "I think not, Horatio. Look where we are." Blair gestured with his free hand to the surroundings. "We are in the middle of enemy territory. They have no place to go. Eventually they will be caught and either killed or imprisoned by the French. They will get what they have coming to them, do not worry." 

Horatio raised his head and looked at Blair. "You are right. Thank you for reminding me." He took a deep breath, then turned to face the men who were standing uncertainly waiting for their orders. 

"We do not have the time to waste searching for Welles and Abrams. We will go about our business as planned. Mosby, ready the meat for transport. We will make a run to the ship today to deliver our cargo. Johnson, continue the gathering mission..." 

Blair stepped back as the Lieutenant issued the daily orders and went in search of a morning meal. 

The day was filled with hard labor. Spirits were high as the men sent to deliver the fruits of their efforts to the ship returned with news of the cheering of the crew of the Valiant. By the time the Captain and Archie returned for the evening, they had all but forgotten the morning escape. Needless to say, James was not pleased with the news, but he did take it in stride. Archie actually seemed to take it the hardest. Everyone's mood was improved again when the Captain informed everyone that the next day would be their last on French soil. One more day of hunting and they would be ready to return to the ship and continue their journey. Blair met the news with mixed feelings. He would be glad to leave the constant threat of discovery, but worried about what would happen when they returned to the ship. He was well now. He had no more reason to remain in the Captain's quarters. When finally they settled down to sleep he lay awake long into the night wondering how he would stand to be parted from the Captain. 

* * *

James had just killed their final deer when he saw it. He motioned to Archie, putting his fingers to his lips when the young man began to speak. Archie came over and knelt beside him, arching his eyebrows in question. 

"Footprints...there," James whispered as he pointed to the soft ground a few feet away. 

Archie looked in the direction the Captain had pointed. "I can't see anything, Captain. I confess tracking was never one of my strengths." 

James rose and quietly walked over to the trail, feeling Archie close by his side. He wished he dared open up his senses, but could not take the risk, so far from camp and from Blair. "What do you make of it?" Archie asked his voice still low. 

James studied the markings. "Many men, a few horses, travelling east. The tracks appear to only be about an hour old." James frowned. If the men continued on their present course, it would take them close to the Valiant's camp. "It is close to dark. With any luck, they will have made camp before running into our men." James did not have to look at Archie to know that the young man's face would hold the same grim look as his own. 

"Are you sure it is the French army?" Archie asked finally. 

James looked at the markings again, then nodded. "The pattern of footfall is too ordered to be anything but men in formation. Come, Kennedy. We must make haste. Take only what you can comfortably carry. Leave the rest." 

James shouldered his pack, leaving his final kill where it had fallen. Archie did the same and they set off at a hard pace toward the camp. James clenched his jaw as he walked and hoped that they arrived in time. 

* * *

Blair looked up at the darkening sky and noticed the storm clouds moving in. James and Archie should be returning soon, then all that would be left to do is secure the day's catches and prepare for their return to the Valiant. 

Unless the storm caught up to them first. 

He looked over at his companion. Horatio was working alongside him as usual. Even though he knew the young man's injuries must have been causing him difficulty, Horatio never once complained. 

"Looks like we are in for a storm, Horatio," Blair called out. The Lieutenant looked up, then carefully walked over to join him. They had been gathering on a bluff overlooking the ocean, and so had a striking view of the storm coming from across the water. 

"Yes. We had best finish here and get back to camp." 

They stood still for a few moments, captured by the crashing waves at the base of the rocks and the beauty of the raging ocean. Finally, Blair shook his head, and with a grin at Horatio went back to his labor. 

* * *

James came to a stop, causing Archie to run into the back of him. He held up his hand for silence. Yes, there it was again. Voices. He grabbed Archie's arm and motioned him to follow. Together they crept forward. Carefully, James released his senses the smallest bit. Voices speaking in French washed over him. The smell of food cooking, a campfire. The pungent odor of horses and waste. 

"Captain," a voice whispered urgently. James shook his head and looked over at the Acting Lieutenant, nodding his head slightly and motioning Archie to go back the way they came. Silently, they moved away from the French campsite. Once a respectable distance separated them, James spoke. 

"God is smiling on us today, Mr. Kennedy. They have camped and but a half mile from our own at that. We must circle around and be sure we are on the Valiant before morning comes." James looked skyward. "I only hope we can make the ship before this storm hits." 

* * *

"Blair, come we must go," Horatio called as the sky rumbled. Blair stood and lifted his sack, nodding. 

He glanced out at the ocean and could see the sheets of rain falling and a bright flash of lightening far off the shore. "I don't think that we will make it before the rain hits," he said to Horatio. 

"No, but we can at least be most of the way..." Horatio stopped talking abruptly. 

Blair swung around to find Horatio facing Welles. The disgraced Lieutenant looked nothing like the prim officer that Blair had become used to seeing. This man was dirty. His hair and clothing looked unkempt and disheveled. It seemed his night in the wilderness had not been easy for the young man. His face was a mask of fury as he held Horatio's gun aimed directly at Horatio's head. Horatio stood very still, staring at the other man. Blair cleared his throat and Welles' eyes shifted to him briefly before going back to Horatio. 

"Mr. Welles. Where is Abrams? Why is he not here with you?" Blair asked looking around. The other man was no where in sight. 

Welles did not look away from Horatio. "Dead. Killed by a wild boar in his sleep. I myself barely escaped with my life. Something else I have to thank you for Hornblower," the man spat out. 

Blair took a step closer, and away from the edge of the bluff. Welles pulled back the trigger to his gun. 

"Stay where you are Sandburg," he ordered. Blair stopped. Damn. He was just too far away to reach the man before he could pull the trigger. 

"What do you hope to gain by this, Welles?" Blair asked. "Put down the gun and return to the camp with us. You can defend yourself from the charges. Do this and you have ensured yourself the noose." 

"I have no intention of hanging. I have resigned myself to capture. Look at the woods behind us, Sandburg." 

Blair looked past Welles. The bluff that they were on was raised so that he could see over the trees. A short distance away he saw a thin tendril of smoke lifting out of the woods. 

"Yes," Welles said as comprehension dawned on Blair. "The French are close. I will turn myself over to them in the morning, after the crew of the Valiant has returned to the ship. My only hope now is to ride out the war in a French prison and hope that when I emerge everyone will have forgotten all about me and I can recapture my life in England." 

"And what of us, Welles?" Blair asked. 

"You are in the wrong place I'm afraid Sandburg. Hornblower has to die. Interfere and you will also die. If you do not attempt to interfere, I may let you live." 

"Let Blair go now, Welles. He can do no harm. By the time he reaches camp you will have accomplished your deed and have disappeared into the woods," Horatio said, finally breaking his silence. 

"No. Do as I say and I will think about letting him go," Welles sneered. "Back up." 

Horatio took a hesitant step back. Welles advanced with him. "Again," the man ordered. 

"Don't do this Welles," Blair cried out as Horatio neared the edge of the bluff. They were at least 100 feet from the rocks below. If Horatio were forced over the edge he would surely die. 

Welles didn't acknowledge Blair's cry. He stared into Horatio's eyes. "It will be your choice Hornblower. It is time to see just how honorable you are. Force me to shoot you and the French will most certainly be alerted and find the Valiant's camp before they can pack up and escape. Step over the edge silently and they may be saved." Welles smiled at Horatio's look of fear. 

Blair took a step forward as Horatio turned to look at him. 

"Stay where you are, Sandburg. Do you want to risk the life of the Valiant's crew?" Welles said. 

Blair stopped, torn between rushing forward and risking the bullet and the danger that such an act would mean for the Valiant. 

"Stay where you are, Blair!" Horatio cried out. He fixed the young man with a resigned look. "Tell Archie that I've always loved him." Horatio took another step back, his heel touching the edge of the bluff. 

* * *

James slid into the camp, startling the sentry. He spoke quietly to the man. "The French are close. Load the boats and prepare to cast off. We must go in the cover of night." James could see Archie moving amongst the men, telling each of the danger. He turned back to Michaels. "Has everyone returned?" 

Michaels shook his head. "No. Mr. Sandburg and Lieutenant Hornblower are still out gathering." 

"Damn," James swore. "Where have they gone?" Mosby stepped up to them and answered. 

"Blair said that he was going to try a bluff to the west, overlooking the ocean. He saw it as we approached on the boat and thought it might be a good location for some root he was after." 

"I'll go after them," Archie said, joining the group. James nodded. 

"Go. Hurry, the storm is coming fast." 

Archie turned and sprinted from the camp. James spoke quickly to the men. Within minutes, everyone was working hard to dismantle the camp. James looked up as the first raindrop hit his cheek. 

* * *

Blair took another step forward. He couldn't just stand by and let this happen. Welles pressed the muzzle of the gun against Horatio's forehead. "Back! One more step and it will be all over." 

Horatio stepped back. Blair cried out and began to move forward only to be drowned out by another anguished cry. 

"No!!" 

Blair turned his head as Archie raced into the clearing. The young man ignored Welles and the gun, flinging himself forward barely in time to catch Horatio's arms as the Lieutenant tried to grab for a hold when he heard Archie's cry. Archie fell to his stomach his grip sliding from Horatio's arms to his hands as the Lieutenant continued to slide over the edge. 

"No! Hold on to me, Horatio!" Archie ground out, desperately trying to support the weight of his friend. 

Blair stopped as Welles' gun came up to train on him. Welles was laughing, obviously enjoying Archie's losing struggle to stop his friend from falling to his death. They both turned to the drama as Horatio spoke. 

"Let me go, Archie...please just let me go." 

"No," Archie cried out. His body began to slip toward the edge, pulled by Horatio's greater weight. 

Blair saw Welles smile again, then something snapped inside him. He launched himself toward the bigger man. He tried to grab the gun as they both fell to the ground but could not wrestle it away. 

The gun went off, echoing across the wilderness. 

Welles kneed Blair in the stomach and the young man twisted away gasping. When he turned back, Welles was standing over him with the gun pointing at his chest. 

"Stupid move Sandburg," Welles spat out. "Now the French will be all over your shipmates before they know what hit them." Welles glanced over at where Archie was still struggling to hold Horatio's weight, edging ever closer to the edge. "Actually, I'm kind of glad this happened. I will cry no tears for anyone on the Valiant. Don't concern yourself though, none of you will be around to witness it." Welles tightened his finger on the trigger and Blair raised his arms as if to ward off the bullet that was sure to follow. 

Welles grunted and Blair opened eyes that he had never realised he closed. 

Welles clutched ineffectively at an arrow imbedded in his chest, his gun falling from his hand. The shock in his eyes turned to fear before they glazed over and Welles fell to the ground. Blair turned and saw James running toward them, bow in hand before he flipped over and grabbed Archie's legs stopping the young man's progression over the edge of the cliff. 

He held tight until the Captain hands were added to his own. Together they dragged Archie and Horatio back to safety. As soon as Horatio cleared the bluff, Archie threw his arms around his neck, holding him tightly. 

Blair pulled James away slightly trying to give the two men some privacy. He glanced over at Welles who was not moving. James knelt quickly, then shook his head grimly before returning to Blair's side. 

"Are you hurt, Blair?" he asked. 

Blair shook his head, running a shaky hand through his curls. "No. It is thanks to you, James. That was some shot." Blair was amazed that at a dead run James had hit his target so accurately. 

"I am only glad that I got here in time." James squeezed Blair's arm gently before turning to the other two men. "Are you both all right?" 

They turned wet eyes toward him but nodded. "Then we must go...now," James said urgently. The French will have heard the shot...we must get back and away before they find us. Hurry." James reached out his hands, pulling the two men to their feet. Horatio turned to him and opened his mouth, but James just waved him away. "Yes, I know. Go." Horatio turned away. 

Archie met James' eyes and said simply, "The request you made of me. The answer is yes." He turned and ran after Horatio and Blair. 

The next few minutes were filled with the constant fear of discovery. They arrived back at camp to find the boat loaded and ready. They had only to jump inside and they pushed off into the churning ocean. The rain began in earnest and they feared for their boat. Horatio and Archie sat close together manning the oars. Blair sat beside the Captain. He was just about to suggest they return to shore when he followed James' gaze and saw the soldiers pour out onto the small beach. It seemed they had no choice. 

Their strength pulled them away from the shore. The ocean constantly battered at them, tossing them dangerously. Blair was given the job of bailing the ever-increasing water at the bottom of the boat. Finally, the Valiant came into sight--into the Captain's sight anyway. By the time they were pulled aboard, all were nearly unable to move from exhaustion. 

Nevertheless, Blair waited as James gave orders and a short version of the tale to Taggart. Then they staggered into the Captain's cabin and climbed into the hammock to sleep. Blair felt gentle hands working at the bindings of his clothing but could not summon the energy to worry. He fell into a deep sleep. 

* * *

Horatio stumbled beside him and Archie gripped his arm more tightly, ignoring the glances as they passed. He could see the questions in their eyes. They wondered what had happened to Horatio, they wondered about the whereabouts of Lieutenant Welles. Thankfully, no one stopped them. Everyone was busy dealing with the storm. It was getting worse by the minute. Only their small group was excused from their duties. 

Archie pulled Horatio along, stopping at the crew's quarters. "Horatio? We're here," Archie said, as they stepped up to his friend's hammock. Horatio lifted bleary eyes to him. 

"Thank goodness. I feel as if I've been awake forever." 

"How are your injuries?" Archie asked in concern as his friend winced from sitting down. 

"A bit sore," Horatio admitted sheepishly. "Surprisingly enough, hanging from a cliff did not seem to help." He attempted a smile. 

"Do not joke about that, Horatio," Archie snapped. "You almost died!" 

Horatio reached out and grabbed Archie's hand, stroking it with his thumb. "But I didn't, Archie. You were there." Horatio did smile then for real, his face lighting up. 

Archie sighed and sat on his own hammock across from his friend, their hands connected loosely in the center. "It was such a close thing. If the Captain had not arrived we would have both been pulled over the edge." 

"But he did and we are fine," Horatio insisted. He tugged on Archie's hand and he went willingly enough to sit beside his friend. Horatio leaned close to him, their fingers still entwined. "I am so tired, Archie, but I find myself reluctant to sleep." Archie reached up and brushed his friend's hair back from his forehead. "Sleep, Horatio. There is nothing to fear, I will be here." Archie leaned forward to kiss his friend's forehead gently. 

Horatio sighed and laid back, pulling Archie with him. Archie smiled and gathered Horatio into his arms, sharing his hammock. He gave one last thought to what the others would think if they found them together in one hammock but then decided he didn't really care. Being there for Horatio was more important than anything else. 

He ran his hand over his friend's back and felt Horatio snuggle closer to him, settling with his cheek resting on Archie's shoulder. Archie sighed happily and followed Horatio into sleep. 

* * *

Blair awoke the next morning in a surprisingly good mood. The storm seemed to have passed while he slept leaving only the gentle rocking of the ship on calm waters. He swung his legs out of the hammock and was surprised to find himself naked but for his under garments. When he had arrived on the ship he had been wearing the clothing he had borrowed from Horatio as well as the Captain's cape to help guard against the elements. His face warmed as he remembered the Captain fastening the cape around his neck, with an expression that allowed no argument. Blair grinned at the cherished memory and slid off the hammock. 

James was gone, Blair wasn't surprised to note. He doubted that the older man had even come to bed the previous night. He couldn't imagine the Captain leaving the ship in Taggart's hands as they battled the storm. 

Blair was carefully shaving with the Captain's straight razor when James came into the cabin. He looked up with a huge smile. The smile died as he noted the exhaustion and pallor of his friend's face. Quickly he washed away the last of the lather and crossed over to him. 

"James, did you sleep at all last night?" Blair said with reproach. 

James sighed and smiled gently down at him. "No. Would you have in my place, Blair?" 

"No, I expect not. The danger has passed then?" Blair asked, taking James' arm and leading him over to the table. 

"Yes, for now. We weathered the storm well." 

Blair pushed the James down into a chair and knelt before him. "Then it is time for you to rest," he said as he leaned over to grip the Captain's leather boot. One sharp tug and it came off along with his stocking. 

James groaned with pleasure. Blair smiled up at him and tugged off the second boot before jumping up to grab the basin of water he had been using. James just watched him through half lidded eyes as Blair set the basin on the floor at the Captain's feet and knelt back down himself. 

"I know a sure way to help you relax, James. Lean back and close your eyes." Blair stroked his bare foot and smiled. "Trust me." 

James leaned back in the chair and slowly closed his eyes, letting out a soft sigh. Lifting the Captain's foot he settled it on his thigh and began to bathe it in the fire-warmed water. He treated the other foot to the same tender washing, then began to rub the appendage with an increasingly firm touch. James groaned out loud. Blair continued the massage moving after a time to the other foot, feeling James relaxing further with each stroke. Finally, he heard a soft snore above him and looked up to find the Captain sleeping, slumped over in the chair. 

Blair grinned. "I suppose starting this here was not such a good idea," he murmured to himself. Now he would have to wake James to get him into his hammock. Blair continued to lightly stroke the foot that was resting on his thigh then, unable to help himself, leaned over and touched his lips to the top of James's foot. The older man stirred and when Blair raised his head again he found the Captain looking down at him with such a look of wonder that Blair swallowed nervously. He recovered quickly and stood, offering James his hand. 

"I think you are ready for bed now, James," he said softly. The Captain took Blair's hand without hesitation and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet before letting go. 

"I think I am, Blair." He looked over at the younger man and brushed Blair's cheek with the back of his hand. "Thank you, that was wonderful." 

"You're welcome," Blair choked out. "I suppose I had better get down to the galley and make sure the chef knows how to prepare and store the roots and fruit that we gathered," he said, wishing that the Captain would ask him to stay. Instead James dropped his hand and nodded. 

"Yes, that would be best," James said, heading to his hammock. "Will you join me here for dinner later?" 

Blair smiled again. "Of course. Make sure you sleep," he added before heading for the door. 

* * *

Several hours later, Archie approached the door to the Captain's cabin with trepidation. He wondered for the 100th time what in the hell he was doing. Getting his promise over with, he told himself yet again. It was nothing really. Only a single kiss. It meant nothing. Archie stood straight and knocked on the door. James answered almost immediately and with a deep breath he opened the door and stepped through. 

James glanced up from the work he was doing and looked startled to see him. "Archie..." he began, standing to cross over to him. "What can I do for you?" 

Archie couldn't help but smile at how nervous the Captain appeared. He felt his own fear fade. "I am here to make good on my promise...that is if you still wish it?" 

"No...Yes...Are you sure?" the Captain asked. 

"It is only a kiss, done as an experiment. It does not threaten my relationship with Horatio and could help yours with Blair. Yes...I am fine," Archie said, hoping his voice sounded more sure than he indeed felt. 

It must have at that. James nodded once. "Alright. One kiss then we will never speak of it again. Thank you, Archie for doing this for me." 

"It is nothing, James. Step closer." 

The Captain stepped closer and Archie reached up and put an arm around the back of his neck, pulling his head down closer. They were just about to touch lips when James stopped. They did not part. 

"I can't do this, Archie...it feels wrong," James said softly. Archie could feel the exhalation of breath against his lips. 

"Thank God," he breathed with a little laugh. They were just about to pull apart when the door was flung open. 

"James, are you rea..." Blair broke off as he took in the scene before him. James pulled back sharply but Archie could see it was already too late. He was only too aware how the situation must look. 

* * *

"Why are you kissing him, when you profess to have feeling for me?" Blair asked, the pain on his face immediately visible. James felt his heart clench at the sight. Panic began to overtake him. How could he explain to his friend? 

Archie stepped away from him and addressed the young man. "Blair it is not as it seems, honestly." 

Blair fixed him with an angry gaze. "Do not speak to me. How could you do this to Horatio? Be assured that he will hear of it," the young man stated. 

Archie blanched and James feared he would pass out. Reaching over, he steadied the young man. Blair's eyes flared at the gesture. He spun on his heel and stormed out of the Captain's cabin. 

"Blair, wait!" James called out but the young man didn't stop. The sentinel turned to Archie. "Do not worry, Archie, I will set this right, I swear it. I should never have asked such a favor. I fear my innocent experiment may result in the loss of Blair, but my stupidity will not effect you and Mr. Hornblower. You have my word." 

Archie nodded, unable to speak. 

James squeezed his shoulder once more and then ran after Blair. The rain whipped harshly against his face the moment he stepped out of the door. The storm was once again gathering momentum causing the ship to lurch wildly. The deck was deserted except for the men attempting to control the movement and sails of the ship. He found himself glad for the darkness and rain that hid his mad flight after his friend. 

He got a glimpse of Blair as the young man recklessly began to climb the ropes, leading up to his normal nighttime perch high on the mast. 

Oh god, he was going too fast on the slippery ropes. 

James discarded his boots and stockings and began to climb up after him, fear for the young man's safety burning in the pit of his stomach. He was gaining ground when he saw Blair glance down at him. The young man faltered, and to James's horror Blair's foot slipped off the wet rope and he was unable to grasp the ropes tight enough in his hands to steady himself. Before James could do anything, the young man was falling. 

"No!" James cried out 

He zeroed in on Blair's face and saw the fear as the young man realized that he couldn't hold on. Instinct took over and James focused on the hand scrabbling for a hold as Blair fell. He held onto the ropes with one hand and reached out for his friend with the other. He caught Blair's wrist as he fell by him and was happy to feel the young man's other hand instantaneously grip his arm. Gritting his teeth, James held on. He felt the snap of his shoulder as Blair's full weight came to a halt. James cried out but held on, sheer force of will supporting Blair as the young man's momentum swung him back into the rope netting. As soon as Blair touched the rope the weight on James's arm eased as the young man once again got his footing on the rain slicked ropes. 

Once Blair was safe, the full pain from his dislocated shoulder hit him. He folded in on himself, pressing his face against the slippery rope, trying to escape the pain. 

He felt dizzy and clenched the rope tighter with his good hand, afraid that he would now be the one to fall. 

He had to stay conscious...he had to explain. 

It couldn't end like this. 

The rain pounded against his back and he felt himself weakening. Suddenly there was a warmth against his side. 

"James," Blair cried out in panic. "You fool! You are not going to pass out, do you hear me? Stay with me!" 

"B-blair," James sputtered, the pain incapacitating. 

"I'm here. You and I are going to get off this roping." 

James felt Blair's hand on his back, trying to support him. The young man's leg was looped around his own, holding him to the netting. Fear blossomed inside him and he pushed away the fogginess that threatened to overwhelm him. 

"Blair, I can't use my left arm. I've hurt my shoulder. I can't climb down myself. Please, go for help," James whispered. If he fell now, with the way Blair was supporting him, the young man would surely fall as well. James accepted that he was not going to make it off the ropes but he had to get Blair away. "Please, Blair," he said desperately, "go for help." 

The young man paused and James knew that he was considering it. Just when he knew Blair was going to go, he felt another wave of dizziness and he swayed dangerously. He would probably have fallen if not for the young man's support. 

"No. You can't hang on. I won't leave you here to die," Blair said, his voice full of determination. 

James pressed his forehead tighter against wet ropes. He had condemned them both to death with his stupidity. 

"I am sorry, Blair. I love you," he whispered. He was sure the young man hadn't heard him through the storm until he felt lips against his ear. 

"I love you too. We will live long enough for you to explain to me what happened with Archie. Listen to me, James. Listen to me closely and do exactly as I say. Your watchman abilities will save us both." 

James was held raptly by the soft voice in his ear. He focused on it, letting everything fade into the background but the voice of the man he loved. 

"I know you have your doubts about your abilities, James, but now is the time for you to trust me, to trust that I can help you. Can you do that?" 

James nodded, holding tight to the ropes. He did trust the younger man. Even before he had come to know him against the advice of his officers, he had trusted him. 

"Good," Blair whispered. "I want you to do as we did when the French attempted the sneak attack, do you remember?" 

James nodded again. 

"This time, instead of focusing on increasing your sight, I want you to focus on decreasing your pain. You can do this, James. You can control the level of pain that you feel, trust me." 

"I trust you...I do..." James whispered. "I'm just not sure I can." 

"You can do this," Blair said a bit louder. "Do it!" 

James listened as Blair continued to instruct him and found that the pain lessened. It was still there but it decreased enough that it was not all encompassing. 

"James?" Blair asked. 

"It's better," James said in astonishment. 

"Yes," Blair said forcefully. "Now, we will slowly climb down. One step at a time. I will help you." 

Carefully and painstakingly slowly they did just that. Finally, James felt his feet touch ground and immediately give out on him. As consciousness faded, he felt Blair's arms supporting his head and shoulders against the wet deck and heard the sound of running feet approach them. 

* * *

When James woke, he was surprised to find himself in his cabin. His shoulder ached but felt intact. He moved it carefully and found, that while painful, it was operational. Someone had obviously reset his arm when he was unconscious. He turned his head and found Blair sitting beside him with his arms crossed, anger radiating from the young man in waves. 

"Blair?" James began 

"What do you want from me?!" Blair shouted, standing quickly, his face hard with anger. James stared at him and pulled himself out of the hammock so that he could meet the young man's anger as an equal, on solid ground. Blair's hair was in disarray, falling haphazardly across his shoulder, his muscles tense, his eyes flashing with life and anger. Suddenly, James could stand it no more. He strode over to the young man and pulled him against his body. Ignoring the twinge of pain he leaned forward and captured Blair's lips with his own, forcing his mouth open in a hard, deep kiss. Blair stiffened in his arms and James came back to his senses, stepping away abruptly. 

"My god, Blair, forgive me?" James stammered, backing away. The anger was gone from his friend's face, leaving behind only shock and disbelief. "Forgive me?" James said again before turning toward the door, intending on making a hasty departure. His way was blocked before he could reach his destination. 

"No. No way are you walking out that door," Blair said with a hiss. 

James raised his eyes from the floor and met Blair's defiantly. He would not be ashamed of the act. He also found that he could not find it in himself to regret it. His lips still tingled where Blair's had touched them. 

"Explain," Blair said shortly. 

"I do have...feelings for you, Blair. I think I love you," James said then took a trembling breath. 

Blair gasped and stepped back as if struck. He put a hand over his heart and took another step back. "What? What did you say?" 

James took a step forward as Blair retreated. There was no going back. "I love you." 

Blair seemed to regain control of himself. He stepped forward once more till he stood directly in front of the Captain. "I had convinced myself that it was just your pain talking, James. You say you...love me? Why then were you kissing Archie?" 

James raised his hand and stroked Blair's cheek, happy when the young man only stiffened and did not move away. "It was foolish. If you will hear me out I will try to explain." 

Blair took a deep breath and let it out slowly before responding. "I will listen. I can promise no more than that." He moved over to the table and sat down, gesturing James to take the seat on the opposite side. 

'Making sure I keep my distance,' James mused to himself as he sat down and collected his thoughts. He found himself reluctant to start; what if Blair didn't believe him? What if he never had a chance to find out if he and Blair were meant to be together? This wasn't only his own life he was risking, what of Archie and Horatio? He looked up finally and Blair reached across the table holding out his hand. 

"It's alright, James, just tell me," Blair said quietly. 

James smiled slightly and took the offered hand. "I have never been with a man, Blair. I know of such things of course, one could not be out to sea as long as I have without gaining some knowledge of what men do together on voyages. I have had many offers but I never felt strongly enough to take the risk. I could not allow myself to be seen...as vulnerable as I've always felt sex makes you." 

Blair nodded and squeezed his hand. 

"When you came on board all that changed. God, I wanted you. More than I have ever wanted a woman, but I also need you. I need your help with my senses, I need you as my friend. I could not risk approaching you till I was sure that I could...perform...with a man. Do you understand?" 

In response Blair stood, walked around the table and came to a stop, standing between the Captain's legs. 

"And now?" he asked. 

James smiled up at the other man. "And now I am unfortunately just as clueless as I was before. I found that it was not the young acting Lieutenant that I wished to kiss. You interrupted just as we had decided it was a foolish thing to do." He paused. "Thank you for that by the way. I know now it was a mistake. Archie is terrified that he will lose Horatio over this." 

"Kennedy has nothing to fear. I will tell him...first thing tomorrow. Tonight, I would rather lay your fears to rest." 

"You forgive me then?" 

"I forgive you, James. Just be warned that I will not sit back and watch you take another lover...of either sex." 

"Nor I, you. Can we try that kiss now?" James asked a bit nervously, still uncertain whether he could make love with a man. 

Blair leaned forward and touched his lips to the Captain's in another chaste kiss. James felt many things at once. The warm, wet pressure that played against his lips, the unyielding circle of arms that held him and the hard column that bumped against his stomach as Blair pressed himself even closer. James wrapped his arms around the younger man and molded him to his body as he opened his mouth encouraging Blair to deepen the kiss. Soon they were straining against each other, tongues, lips and hands exploring the others' body. James pulled back with a gasp. 

"Blair...wait," he panted. 

Blair stepped back and stood there breathing heavily and watching James with a heated expression. "You did not like it?" 

The Captain groaned and stood moving swiftly to the younger man, taking his lips in a savage kiss before pulling away once more. 

"Yes, I like it, more than I can say but...we cannot go any further on that chair," he said gesturing toward the hard surface. 

Blair kissed him back and then glanced over his shoulder. "I don't think I could concentrate enough not to fall out if we were to try the hammock," he admitted. James ran his hands over Blair's back and down to caress his buttocks, unable to concentrate on the problem. 

He gave a cry of dismay as Blair pulled out of his grasp. 

"Wait," the young man said. Moving over to the hammocks he began pulling the bedding off and arranging it on the floor. James smiled and moved over to the door and threw the bolt, insuring them privacy. By the time he turned back Blair has fashioned a bed of sorts on the floor. The young man beckoned the Captain over. "Come here." James strode over eagerly, stopping just in front of the younger man. He raised his hand and brushed Blair's hair back from his face. 

"You are very beautiful," he whispered. Blair blushed but James could tell by his smile that he liked the compliment. He stood still as the young man walked behind him. 

"I have longed to see you James. To see your body, to see your hair unbound. May I?" James felt a hand at the ribbon that kept his hair back. 

"Yes," he answered. He felt Blair's hand give one soft tug then his hair cascaded across the back of his neck. He heard the young man sigh in pleasure, and hands feather through his straight brown locks. 

"Just as I imagined," he breathed. "Now I would see the rest." He moved back in front of James, coming to a stop with his hands on the first fastened clasp on the Captain's shirt. "May I?" he asked again. James swallowed roughly and nodded, his heart rate speeding up. 

The young man undid each clasp slowly then pulled apart the Captain's white shirt, pushing it off his shoulder. The hands then returned to stroke the smooth expanse of his chest. 

"My God, you are strongly built," Blair murmured before stroking his fingers over a peaked nipple. The Captain shuddered with sensation. Blair smiled up at him and repeated the movement on his other nipple, getting the same response. "A sensitive spot," Blair leaned forward and licked one nipple, causing James to groan. "I will know all your tender spots before the night it done, James," Blair promised in a husky voice. 

He moved his hands down and began to undo the clasps of the Captain's britches. Once done he boldly reached inside and stroked the hard column of flesh within. James arched up onto his toes and gripped Blair's arms hard, pulling his hand away. 

"'Twil be over before it starts if you keep that up, Blair," he ground out. "I think that you need to catch up with my state of undress." 

Blair looked down at himself, then back up at the Captain. "I believe I am still far ahead of you in that matter." James blushed as he realised the truth of that statement. 

"I...I'm just so used to seeing you dressed like that..." James trailed off. 

"Ah, new territory for me..." Blair reached down and untied his loincloth, letting it fall to the floor, "...new territory for you, it is only fair," he finished with a grin. James simply stared. 

* * *

After a minute Blair began to fidget uncomfortably. "James?" he asked. When he got no response he realised what had happened. "Damn, damn, damn," he swore as he stepped forward and gripped James by the arms, not bothering to re-clothe himself. 

The moment he touched the older man's chest, James came back to himself with a gasp. Blair tugged on the Captain's arm a bit, encouraging him down onto the makeshift bed. 

James settled onto the blankets willingly enough, but he would not meet Blair's eyes. "Sorry, Chief. It seems I can not even make love without losing myself," James said sadly. 

Blair settled down onto his knees in front of the Captain and gripped his chin in his fingers, forcing the older man to look at him. "There is no shame, James. Your senses are a part of you. I will just have to attempt to engage all of your senses at once. That way you will be unable to concentrate too hard on only one." He smiled and was gratified to see an answering smile on the Captain's face. 

"And if I fade anyway?" 

"Then I will kiss you and otherwise have my way with you till your return," Blair waggled his eyebrows and was rewarded by a chuckle from James. 

"You have my permission to do _whatever_ you feel you need to in order to bring me back, Blair," James said in a low, husky voice. 

"I'd rather do _whatever_ I feel I need to while you are conscious and participating." Blair leaned forward and met the Captain's lips in a deep kiss. 

He gently pushed James onto his back, settling himself on top of the older man, being careful of his still tender shoulder. "Touch me, James," he breathed against the Captain's lips. He felt James's hands circle around him and settle hesitantly on his back. Blair leaned down a bit further and captured the Captain's ear between his teeth. 

"I will not break...touch me," he said again. James groaned and suddenly his hands gripped Blair tightly, pressing him hard against the Captain's chest. 

"Yes, that is it," Blair whispered as he began to kiss and lave his way from the Captain's ear to his shoulder. He bit down gently on James's hard muscular biceps as the Captain's hand found and caressed his buttocks. 

Blair pushed back, encouraging James. Suddenly Blair's world spun and he found himself on his back being pressed into the blankets by James' body. The Captain's hands and mouth were everywhere, or so it seemed to Blair. James sat up, straddling him. Blair groaned as the Captain's butt came in contact with his straining erection. Even through the barrier of James's britches it was murder. James sat there, staring at Blair for several seconds. Just when Blair thought the older man had zoned again, James spoke. 

"You are very beautiful," he said in a voice thick with emotion. Blair just grinned up at him foolishly. He held his breath as James reached down and ran his hands up his sides to his shoulders then down his arms to grip each of Blair's hands in his own. Then he bent forward, still holding Blair's hands in a tight grip and kissed him, first on the lips, then making his way down Blair's body with gentle kisses. He stopped at the young man's nipple and laved it gently. Blair could feel the Captain's smile against his chest as he automatically arched toward the maddening lips. 

The Captain's body shifted downward again and his lips ghosted across Blair's stomach stopping briefly to delve into his belly button before continuing down. 

Blair had just opened his mouth to tell James that he did not expect him to touch him in that way when all thought of talk fled from his mind as the Captain's tongue tentatively tasted the head of his cock. 

Blair cried out and shuddered. A firmer stroke of James' rough tongue and he could not hold back any longer. To his horror, his orgasm hit him without another touch from James. His vision clouded as he came so hard he could not form a coherent thought. 

When he regained his senses he found James had removed the rest of his clothes and curled around him tightly, both of them lying on their sides, facing each other. Blair felt a deep hot blush travel up his neck and over his face. He hid his face in James's shoulder and groaned loudly in mortification. 

He felt James shaking and looked up to see the older man attempting to control his laughter. He slapped the older man's shoulder lightly. "This is not funny, James." 

The Captain's smile faded and he looked at Blair tenderly and reached over to stroke his face. 

"I've just wanted you for so long," Blair said, still embarrassed. 

"I love that you want me so much, Blair--though I can't say I understand it. You're so young, so intelligent, so beautiful..." James trailed off. 

"As opposed to you who are old, stupid and ugly?" Blair asked with a grin. 

"Well, I'm not certain I would go quite that far. I think there are a few good years in my old bones yet." 

Blair rolled over on top of the Captain then reached down and found the older man's still hard cock. James gasped and arched into his hand. "Yes," Blair breathed. "I think there is animation in your old bones yet." 

Blair arched slightly and touched his growing erection against the Captain's. James gasped and wrapped his arms around the younger man. "Ah...yes...again, Blair!" 

Blair smiled and thrust his groin forward again, rubbing his semen slicked cock fluidly against the James' rock hard erection. James grunted and snaked his hands down to hold onto Blair's butt. He gripped the cheeks hard and forced the younger man to thrust with more force against him. 

Blair complied, feeling his own erection once again fill to capacity. He groaned and leaned forward to kiss James. Their lips met in a fierce kiss, as their thrusting hips sped up. Blair whimpered against the Captain's lips as James thrust his tongue deep into his mouth, exploring with wild abandon. 

Soon, James arched and Blair felt warmth spread between them. The feel of the Captain's semen against his own cock was the final trigger and he too came with a shout of joy before collapsing forward to lay limply against his lover. 

He felt the Captain's hand gently stroking his sweaty back and grinned against the older man's chest. "Not bad for an old man," he said with a chuckle. James slapped his butt lightly and Blair jerked forward, pushing his tender genitals against the Captain's. "Oh yes...Is that suppose to dissuade me?" he asked looking up into James' eyes. "I'm afraid the only thing that will do is encourage me to ravage you yet again." 

The Captain's eyes grew dark with arousal and Blair jerked again as his hand fell lightly on his other buttock. James grinned. 

"Think you're 'up' to the challenge?" 

Blair laughed and rolled off the Captain, his hands travelling down to grip the older man's slowly filling cock. "Oh yes...I'll make you beg for mercy, old man," he said as he leaned forward and took James' cock into his mouth. 

James cried out at the unexpected act and Blair felt a hand grip his hair. "Love you, Blair," the older man called out. Blair let the Captain's cock pop out of his mouth for a moment. 

"I love you," he replied seriously before grinning widely. "But I still intend on making you beg for mercy." With that he leaned forward once again and swallowed James to the root. 

* * *

Horatio was beginning to get worried. Archie was supposed to have met him an hour before. Where could he be? Maybe someone decided to get even for Welles? 

Icy fingers curled in his gut at the thought. Walking faster, he hurried down the steps and into the belly of the ship. A soft sound caught his attention as he walked down the narrow hallway, intending on going to the mess hall to check for his friend there. He stopped and stepped into the galley instead. The room was deserted at that time of night--the cook having long since gone to bed. 

Standing still, Horatio listened again and was met only with silence. He turned back to the door, deciding rats probably made the sound and only his wishful thinking had made it into more. As his hand touched the door handle the sound came again. Unmistakably human this time. Someone weeping, though trying to be silent. Horatio knew that it was Archie. He knew without doubt before he turned back and crossed the room, finding the figure sitting on the floor, partially hidden by the table. 

"Archie?" he whispered, moving to crouch down beside his friend. Archie's head jerked up and fear flooded his face. He turned his head away again, but not before Horatio saw the tears. 

"No...Go away..." he said painfully. 

Horatio felt a soul shattering fear grip him. "Archie, what has happened? Are you hurt? Who did this?" Horatio asked urgently, cursing himself for letting his guard down. He had thought that since Welles was out of the picture, the danger had passed. Obviously Archie was paying for his complacence. 

"I'm not hurt, Horatio...please just leave me be," Archie begged, keeping his face turned to the wall. 

"I am not leaving, Archie. Please look at me. Tell me what's the matter?" Horatio put his hand on Archie's shoulder and could not help but feel his friend's flinch. 

"Have I done something wrong, Archie?" 

"Not you," the whisper came back so soft Horatio couldn't be sure he'd heard the words correctly. 

"Not me? Does that mean that you think you have done something wrong?" he asked gently. 

"Yes, and I don't think I can stand losing you," Archie said in a shaky voice. 

"Lose me? You think me so fickle? It is a poor opinion of me to have, Archie," Horatio chided, but his voice held only concern. 

Archie turned to face him finally and Horatio was worried by the paleness of his friend's face. He reached out to brush away a tear but found his hand caught. 

"Do you trust me, Horatio?" Archie asked intently. 

"Of course," he responded without pause. "With my life." 

"With you heart?" 

Horatio blushed and looked down. "With everything I think, Archie," he mumbled. 

"Do you trust that I would never do anything to hurt you, Horatio?" 

"Just tell me what it is you think you've done? It certainly can be no worse than I'm imagining right now, Archie." 

Archie drew a shaky breath. "I love you, Horatio. I meant it when I said it. The Captain only asked for an inconsequential favor. It was nothing; it meant nothing, I swear. But..." Archie trailed off, gathering his thoughts. Horatio was having difficulty following the rambling explanation. 

"The Captain? What does the Captain have to do with this?" Horatio felt his mood darken. He had thought Captain Ellison trustworthy but perhaps he had been too hasty in his judgement. 

"Calm down, Horatio," Archie said in a steadier voice. "The Captain has done nothing to be concerned about. I only fear that Blair got the wrong idea." 

"The wrong idea about what exactly?" Horatio asked. 

"Sit down with me, Horatio. Promise me you will stay to the end of my story and I will tell you." 

Horatio settled himself awkwardly onto the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of his friend. "I promise, Archie." He was beginning to think that he was not going to like what Archie was about to say. 

"It's silly really," Archie started. His tone though was deadly serious. "The Captain and I spent a lot of time together when we were on the island. We talked to pass the time as we searched for good hunting grounds. We got to know each other better." 

Horatio felt a twisting sensation in his stomach. Archie and the Captain had seemed to grow friendlier daily on the island. Horatio remembered his growing jealousy and how he had told himself that he was imagining it. 

"We got to talking of our lives aboard ship, our hopes, then finally on the night that we stayed away from camp, our desires." 

Horatio jumped up and looked down at Archie in disbelief. "What?" 

"Horatio?" Archie asked in confusion. 

"How can you expect me to sit and listen to you going on about your desire for the Captain? I thought we had an understanding here, Archie. Obviously I was mistaken." Horatio turned away, trying to get his grief under control. He felt arms encircle him from behind and stood stiffly, but did not move away. Archie pressed against his back; so close he could feel his friend's breath on the back of his neck. 

"No, Horatio. You have it all wrong. We were not discussing _our_ desire for each other, he is in love with Blair. He just didn't know what to do about it. He wasn't sure if he could love a man and wanted me to help him find out if he would be repulsed by it." 

Horatio struggled free of his friend's embrace and turned to face him. "Repulsed by it? He used you to see if he would be repulsed by being with another man? Is that what you are trying to tell me here?" 

"Well, yes...in a way," Archie admitted. 

"And you went along with this? Explain to me how you and he were going to accomplish this test?" Horatio felt his anger overriding his grief and fear. Archie thought so little of intimacy that he would share it with another so easily. Perhaps what they had been feeling meant less to his friend than it did to him? 

"It's not so seedy as you think, Horatio. All he asked for was a kiss. A kiss, nothing more. The Captain just wanted to make sure that he could kiss another man before he took the leap with Blair. He didn't want to hurt him, surely you can understand that...he didn't want to reject him if he found that he could not become physical with another man." 

"And you just had to _help_ him?" Horatio frowned. He was trying to understand, but he could not seem to get past the thought of the Captain kissing _his_ friend before he had even had the pleasure. 

"I owed him, Horatio. He saved my life--more importantly; he saved your life. It was only to be a kiss, it was nothing." 

"Obviously it did not turn out to be nothing. Tell me the rest, Archie?" Horatio asked with a hard edge to his voice. 

Archie turned away for a moment, then back to meet Horatio's eyes. "Blair walked into the room just as we were going to...We had actually decided not to..." he let the sentence hang. "He took one look and I fear he thought that James and I were having some illicit affair," Archie said with a blush. 

Horatio was caught at his friend's use of the Captain's first name. Since when did a Lieutenant refer to a Captain by their given name? 

"Were you?" he asked coldly. Archie blanched. 

"No! Of course not! You must believe me, Horatio, we did not even kiss. It was a stupid idea, one I cannot believe I ever entertained. Please, believe me, Horatio...I love you." Archie pleaded. 

Horatio felt his anger abate at his friend's desperation. He remembered the way Archie had held him when he had almost died, the way he touched his face, the look in his eyes when he gazed at him. Yes, he did believe that Archie loved him. He stepped forward and pulled his friend into his arms, holding him tightly to his chest. Archie's arms circled around him and clutched him with an almost painful grip. Horatio buried his face in Archie's hair. 

"I do believe you, Archie. I must...I love you." 

They held each other for several minutes, not speaking, simply reveling in the connection of their bodies. Finally, Horatio pulled back and rested one hand on the side of Archie's neck. "You never kissed him?" 

"No." 

"You will never make such an agreement again?" 

"I promise," Archie swore, bringing his hand up to brush aside a lock of Horatio's hair that had fallen from its clasp. 

"Will you teach me how to love you?" Horatio whispered uncertainly. 

Archie drew in his breath sharply and Horatio caught a tear on his finger as it ran down Archie's cheek. "God, Horatio...if you only knew how long I have waited and prayed to hear you say such a thing." He curled his hand around the back of Horatio's neck and pulled his head down, finally pressing his lips against those of his best friend in their first kiss. 

* * *

Archie pulled back when he felt the first tentative swipe of Horatio's tongue against his own. "We must find a better place for this Horatio. I don't want our first time to be on a blood-stained table." Horatio followed his gaze to the only piece of furniture in the room and shuddered. 

"No...but where can we go?" he said with a blush. "There is so little privacy on this ship." 

Suddenly, Archie grabbed his friend's hand and tugged him out into the hallway. Counting his blessings that the way was deserted, Archie finally pulled Horatio into the third door down. 

Horatio looked around, finding himself in the infirmary, then grinned. "Brilliant." 

"No sicknesses that I am aware of right now, everyone seems to be healing well enough from the attack. Since there is no doctor on board the chances of anyone coming in here are slight, and..." Archie swept his hand to the side to reveal a small cot...not a hammock but an actual cot. 

Horatio smiled wider. "It's perfect, Archie." Then he seemed to realize why they were there and his face reddened once more as he looked down. Archie couldn't believe how turned on he was by Horatio's inexperience. He longed to take him into his arms and show him how much he loved him. He paused for a moment then realised there was nothing stopping him from doing just that. 

He stepped forward and took Horatio's hand in his own then waited until his friend lifted his head. "Are you alright with this, Horatio? Nothing has to happen tonight. We have all the time in the world." 

"No. I want you tonight, Archie. Who knows if we'll have another chance? With the war, we can never be sure." Horatio stepped closer till he was pressed against Archie, and wrapped his arms around his friend. They embraced each other, letting the dangers and problems of the world fade. 

"Do you trust me, Horatio?" Archie whispered, pressing his cheek against his friend's chest. 

"I do, Archie. I just feel so ridiculous here. I don't know what to do for you," Horatio answered, hugging Archie tighter. 

Pulling back so that he could see Horatio's face, Archie smiled. "Sooner or later it would be your first time. I am only grateful that you chose me, Horatio." Archie cleared his throat as his voice cracked with emotion. 

"There could be no other, Archie," Horatio said quietly as he allowed his friend to push him backwards till the back of his knees hit the bed. He sat down and looked up at Archie hesitantly. Archie stood between his legs and reached out to cup Horatio's cheek in his hand. 

"Do you want to see me?" Archie asked, stroking his friend's cheek. He needed to take this slow, as slow as Horatio needed him to be. He took a deep breath and tried to will his aching erection to subside. 

"Yes...god yes." Horatio's voice cracked. 

"Then sit...and watch," Archie purred as he moved his hands to the buttons of his white shirt. Slowly, watching Horatio's hungry gaze, he slipped each button loose, till his shirt hung open. He turned his back to his friend and grinned as Horatio gripped the collar of his shirt and jacket and pulled them off for him. His friend's hands lingered on his back for a moment before Archie turned around once more. His smile faded as he looked into his friend's face. Horatio was blinking back tears. Archie knelt before him. 

"Horatio, what is it?" he asked quietly. 

"I just love you so much, Archie." Horatio reached out and wrapped his arms around his friend, pulling him into the bed with him. "Let's do this together. Just take it slow," Horatio breathed, tilting his head to capture Archie's lips. 

Archie leaned into the kiss content to let Horatio control the pace of their lovemaking. 

* * *

The morning came too quickly for James. He lay awake simply enjoying the feel of a warm body pressed up against his own in the gently swinging hammock. It had been a long time since he'd felt the pleasure of waking up with someone who loved him. Even in his dreams it had never felt so right. Blair was wrapped around him tightly, his head resting on the Captain's chest. Obviously, the young man was a full contact sleeper. 

James was slightly surprised to note that instead of making him feel uncomfortable as it usually did, the close contact felt warm, comforting, and by the feel of his nether regions, not just a little bit arousing. James bent his head, kissing Blair's curls. 

The young man stirred then, groaning loudly as his bent knee nudged against James' reawakened erection. "I cannot believe you are still ready again after last night. So much for me making you beg. Your stamina seems endless!" 

James laughed and rubbed Blair's back. "'Tis your own fault. If your were a bit less...appealing, I would not suffer so." 

Blair rolled completely on top of James and rested his chin on his folded hands on the Captain's chest. "So can I assume you are now over your fear that you could not make love with a man?" 

James grinned. "That fear has been well and truly blown out of the water, my love." 

"No lingering doubt?" 

"None...I love you, you know?" James said with a tender smile. 

"I suspected as much. I love you too," Blair said with an answering smile. They grinned foolishly at each other for a minute before Blair spoke again. "What happens now, James? My leg has been healed for a while now, but I don't want to move back to the crew's quarters. And what of when we reach London?" A frown creased Blair's forehead. 

"You will stay here with me till we reach London," James said firmly. "I will not let you go now." 

"What of the crew?" 

"I think you underestimate my power here, Blair. I hold all their dreams of advancement in my hands. No one will dare question me. To make everyone breathe more easily we shall make up a false job for you...I know! You will be my valet...help me dress in the mornings and such...some Captains utilize such a position. You shall remain here in my cabin for convenience." James smiled at his own ingenuity. 

"Your valet? In name only?" Blair asked. 

"What? You do not wish to help me dress?" James said in mock offense. 

Blair grinned. "Dress? --No. Undress? --Well now that's a different matter. I fear if dressing you were my job you would remain forever unclothed...or at least missing a piece of clothing here and there." 

Blair almost bounced as he thought about the possibilities. "One day I might forget your ascot...so that I have access to the juncture between your neck and shoulder." Blair scooted upwards and sucked hard on that juncture. "The next, your shirt...so that I could kiss your chest when the mood struck me." He moved down and kissed James just above his nipple to drive home his point. "Then your pants...so that I can drop to my knees at will and take you into my mouth." 

James moaned as Blair shimmied down and licked him from base to crown. The young man looked up again, with smoldering eyes. "Finally...one day you would find yourself continually naked, so that I can feast on you." 

James swallowed roughly. "No...that just wouldn't do. Name only. But...behind the door of this cabin you have my permission to remove whatever clothing from me that you deem necessary." The Captain groaned as Blair took his cock into his hand and stroked him lightly. 

"What of London?" Blair asked a bit sadly, his hand continuing to move. 

James reached down and stilled his hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it gently before responding. "We will be together, I promise you that. If you want to be?" he asked uncertainly. 

"I want nothing more," Blair replied with feeling. 

"Then I will find a way. Trust me, Blair. We will find a way to be together...always." 

Blair climbed back up the Captain's body and kissed him gently. "I do trust you. We will find a way." He lay back down on top of the older man and sighed happily. "Together...always." 

"Yes," James breathed, kissing Blair's forehead. Neither of them seemed too inclined to do anything to relieve their erections, preferring for the moment to simply bask in the others love and warmth. 

A knock at the door startled both men. 

Blair laughed and rolled off, allowing James to climb to his feet. "One moment," the Captain called out. He felt Blair's hungry eyes on him as he dressed but when he turned around he was surprised to find the young man had already pulled on his borrowed pants. 

James grinned and pulled open the door. "Hornblower, Kennedy...come in," he said in surprise. The two young Lieutenants made their way into the room nervously. 

Horatio's eyes shifted from Blair's bare feet and shirtless body to the Captain's disheveled hair. James self-consciously pulled his hair back and grabbed a leather tie off the table. He saw Horatio furtively nudge Archie and grin slightly. Once his hair was under control, James took a good look at the two young men. They stood close together. They seemed to have lost the slight tension that was always between them previously. It seemed perhaps he and Blair were not the only ones to have grown closer. He smiled at Archie. 

"It seems that everything has worked out, Mr. Kennedy?" 

Archie nodded with a grin, then blushed. The young man sobered a bit, then turned to Blair. 

"I am sorry for my actions last evening, Blair. I regret that you were hurt in this." Archie looked painfully sincere, and Horatio looked simply uncomfortable. Then Blair smiled--a huge smile that James could swear lit up the small cabin. Archie looked at him uncertainly. "Blair?" 

Blair took two steps forward and Horatio stepped between he and Archie in alarm. "Horatio," Archie said in exasperation with a roll of his eyes. Abashed the dark-haired man stepped back again, but eyed Blair suspiciously. 

Blair stopped in front of the Acting Lieutenant. "There is nothing to be sorry for, Archie. The Captain explained everything to me. It is I who should apologize to you. I'm sorry that I could ever think that you would hurt Horatio like that. It was my own fear speaking, I'm afraid. Actually, it seems that I owe you a debt of gratitude. Thank you for being there for James when he needed to talk. Thank you for making our way easier." Then Blair stepped forward and hugged the astonished young man. He slapped his back once and released him, stepping away with a laugh. Archie blushed once more and stammered out a "You're welcome." 

James smiled at the display. Archie blushed, Horatio looked offended and slightly miffed that Blair would hug Archie like that, and Blair simply looked amused by the reactions of both men. Finally, he decided to rescue Archie and Horatio from his lover. 

"Come, let's all go to the galley before the rest of the men have our share and we have to go hungry." 

Blair quickly finished dressing and then 'helped' James into his coat and fussed over his hair outrageously before allowing him out of the cabin. Payback for making him a personal valet, James knew. He grinned and bore it with grace, refusing to acknowledge Horatio and Archie's odd look. Finally, they headed out. 

James surveyed the ship as they walked. Everything was back to normal. The men were in good spirits; the sea was calm and their way clear. 

There would be tough times to come. They would have to ration the provisions that they had gathered, but it was enough to see them through. His senses seemed for once completely under his control and Blair was beside him. Actually, he was in front of him chattering to Hornblower and Kennedy about his new position on the ship. The Captain smiled. All in all it was turning out to be a perfect day. 

The End


End file.
